hospital and other children are at home and partner hasn't offered to help

You have 5 children only one of whom is old enough to stay home alone overnight but who is not competent to look after 3 other children one of which is a baby.

A 17 year old is perfectly capable of looking after 3 younger siblings for the night.

FGS most of us looked after that many children for £20 not that long ago.

Fair enough. My ds was always admitted quickly because he was “known” and he was often put in a side room on the ward coz he was a frequent flyer, as it were.

My son is autistic with learning disabilities, the staff let us sit in a side room when we're in A&E instead of the main waiting room.

You'll need to contact social care to arrange emergency care for your children if you don't have anyone that can look after them and aren't able to make arrangements to have them looked after properly. You have 5 children only one of whom is old enough to stay home alone overnight but who is not competent to look after 3 other children one of which is a baby. It's not entirely clear whether you actually said to your partner that he needs to have the baby or whether you just assumed it. Were you already in hospital when he left for his shift? Did you not have a conversation before then, for example when you first left for hospital? It's really hard to imagine the level of poor communication between you and your partner and for that alone you are being unreasonable. You are also being hugely unreasonable posting on a forum to find out if you are unreasonable at a point where you should have been focusing on getting care for your children and posting about how to solve the problem at hand.

The OP's 17 year old is gay. She is just a friend. It was her son's birthday, so they had a drink. The son hasn't long split with his boyfriend.

OP, as I said earlier, my 14 year old could have managed the baby, let alone my girls when they were 17. So I hope everything has gone ok and possibly your boyfriend has been in touch. As well as your 11 year old getting some answers. His new school will need to know about this episode.

Is the father of your son in hospital involved? Could you call him to come and stay with his son? I hope your son feels better soon.

I think you've posted before about your baby's father wanting you to give up your overcrowded council house and move into private rented. This is a great example of why you shouldn't.

I also remember your previous post re your son's education difficulties. You really are having a difficult time. Have you asked for any help from social services? They may be able to arrange child care for this, too.

Seem to recall you're somewhere in East London so
https://www.redbridge.gov.uk/adult-and-childrens-services/childrens-services/family-help-service/

If it wasn’t judgement why was the poster hoping social services step in when there’s absolutely no suggestion the OP isn’t a competent parent to her children, while repeatedly mentioning the fathers?

i’m posting because im upset he chose work over our baby

Did you give him a choice to make? It sounds like you didn’t ask him for help you told him what was happening so he thought you had it covered. Yes he could have offered but he didn’t so you should have said directly that you need his help.

i dont think us living together is the right time my 11yo is having enough change with new school and i just dont want to live with him right now tbh

How long have you been with your partner and do you actually want to be with him? Sounds like you’re using your DS as an excuse not to progress the relationship. You cant move in with a man because you think your DS is having enough change yet you can have a baby with the man and have a new baby live with you?

The fact that you’re excusing this piece of shit says a lot. His work isn’t stopping him. He doesn’t want to - and doesn’t - parent his child. And it’s the OP who said the eldest son was inexperienced with childcare. People aren’t making this up. You can minimise all you like but what’s your solution if the 11yo needs to stay in hospital and needs mum to stay too? The dad isn’t willing or capable. The son is not and should not be full-time carer for the rest. Keep the blinkers on if you wish but OP says she ‘has no one’ to help and that is a problem.

Could you swap places with your 17yo, and he stay in hospital with his brother for a while, so you can go home and be with the 7mo and 5yo?

Agreed.
Its easy on MN for people to drop a shift of work. MN is a privileged salaried world.
Lots live in a normal hourly paid, don't turn up, don't get paid, lose bonuses and shift allowance too.

Eldest is probably at least 14.

But you accused posters of judging her for sleeping with numerous men.
No one gives a shit.
Its the having babies which is the issue. Which is avoidable.

A, 17 year old who has lived with 4 baby siblings has not got 'little experience of babies'.
It is easy to say the bf should just not turn up to work, but that is often easier said than done. It depends on his job too-people nay be relying on him!

Same. Even with the stuff about the drinking, I used to drink sometimes at that age, and would still have been ok looking after a baby and a 5 year old with two other teens present when no longer under the influence.

Don't move in with your useless boyfriend OP. The fact that he doesn't want to and apparently can't look after his own baby in an emergency says it all. Also get an IUD/something similarly effective sorted asap if you haven't already.

FWIW I would have brought all my children with me to the hospital (and did so, often).

Its actually 6 if you include the boyfriend.
17,14,11,5, 7m.
No present fathers.
The OP needs a lesson in contraception

You ring your partner and say come home and look after the baby as you are in hospital. An unreliable 17 year old can’t be responsible for a 7 month old and another 5 year old when you’re not there ffs overnight!!

Having babies with various men is not a reason for social services involvement.

She can sleep with however many men she likes. Go for it. Having babies with various useless men is the issue. This can actually be avoided.

SS don’t get involved because a mother has no one else, no idea why you’ve repeated that multiple times.
It’s perfectly reasonable for an almost adult teenager to watch one baby and a 5 year old over night in emergency circumstances because the mother has brought an 11 year old to hospital.
There is zero suggestion that these children aren’t being cared for properly, their feckless fathers have ditched their children and you think that’s a reason to call SS on the mother?
There is literally nothing about this that causes enough concern that social services would “need to step in”.

I know! I would definitely have taken my seven month old and probably the five year old with me.

Why leave your own kids at home with a hungover seventeen year old the day after his birthday and his unknown friend? They aren’t their responsibility.

He’s in a side room so I took that to be having been admitted? I am quite prepared to be wrong though

Also I wouldn’t have had the 17 year old boys 17 year old female friend there overnight without an adult in the house