hospital and other children are at home and partner hasn't offered to help

I was on your other thread and one of the posters feeling desperately sorry for your eldest who has no family involved, no one to buy him a present apart from you and you struggle because you’ve had more children and are a single parent. Now I read this. It just gets worse for your eldest.

Im sorry that you’re in this situation. I hope your child in hospital is ok. I hope you get some help. Please stay away from more relationships and focus on your children. This boyfriend doesn’t deserve you.

Look, the details don’t really matter. The fact is that you are in your mid-30s, with 5 children aged 7 months to 17 years, without any of the fathers being in any way involved in bringing them up.

It seems that your council house is the only truly stable thing in your life, so please make sure you hang on to this.

And nail down your contraception. You have at least 10 fertile years ahead of you and don’t want any more children. And even if you did, it wouldn’t be in the best interest of your existing children.

How do you know IT'S ONE NIGHT? They could easily keep the 11yo in longer. She said she has no one so who's helping out anytime anything happens? Accident and emergencies tend to happen with kids, esp little ones and an 11yo with SEN who needs this much supervision. I hope it is only one night and OP can be home looking after all her kids asap, but she's going to be exhausted and the boyfriend is useless so yeah. If the kids aren't caring for each other, who is? Sounds like a case where SS could actually be helpful rather than people saying ah it's fine, the boyfriend just needed to do his important job not parent his baby because the barely 17yo and 14yo can parent the 5yo and baby for them, aww.

Was everyone on that thread saying don't live together but stay in the relationship forever and ever?

Or were they saying don't move in with him because he's a loser, maybe give him a chance to prove himself to you? Because this is that time, you've given him that chance, and he's just proven that he's a loser and you're better off single.

Are any of the fathers contributing CMS?

Have you considered a contraceptive implant?

Hope your 11 Yr old son is doing better this morning.

5 kids by 3 different dads isn't that different a vibe to 5 different dads, not that I actually judge either thing, life happens but you've had 2 further relationships each leading to a baby in a very short space of time. And these men don't seem to be responsible people.

Did your baby's dad step up in the end? Why are you even in the relationship in this case? What's the point of him?

IMO The baby’s father (DP) should come home from work if 17 year old DS says he’s finding younger kids too difficult to manage.
Otherwise the unexpected childcare situation is fine for now.

I suspect in a house with 5 children, 1 a baby and 1 autistic he will by default be doing a certain amount of parent level caring. More than the children's dads for a start. Imagine being such a useless man you couldn't do a better job than your babies teenage sibling. Shameful

ITS ONE NIGHT. While she’s in A&E with another sibling. That doesn’t make him a young carer fgs.

This isn't true. I've left my child in hospital overnight without me on a number of occasions.

Thank god somebody is thinking the same as me, I thought maybe I was crazy reading the replies!

your bf is a waste of space. He gets the benefits of a “relationship” with none of the responsibilities. Perhaps you needed to be more assertive , tell him to collect the baby and care for his child, not that he should need telling. If the situation is the same now he should collect the baby for the day and until you are on a position to care fir the dc again. Just because you may return home does not mean you are ready and able to do so, as I doubt you had much sleep. Dors he help out generally, with shopping, trips to chemist and appointments, school runs, financially?

You've missed the context to those posts. They're not about whether the father is useless. They're in response to someone saying OP needed to contact social care to arrange an emergency placement, whilst also getting the number of kids wrong. It's perfectly possible to object to OPs partner's behaviour whilst also disagreeing with a post about contacting Social Services.

Sorry I wasn’t clear. I just meant in terms of it being illegal for a child to mind other children overnight.

the ops son has stepped up when he shouldn’t have had to for sure

@Marroon
You say "People are really letting their judgment of a woman who has dared to sleep with more than one man run severely away with them."

Nothing whatsoever to do with how many men she's slept with. The problem has arisen due to having 5 kids, different (mainly absent) dads, a current partner who is happy to leave his young baby in the care of an overstretched 17 yo.
It's the choices she's made - not how many men she's shagged.

Sad as it is not all employers are accommodating of no notice ‘ I carn’t come in because…’
They probably expect you to have some sort of arrangements in place.
If he lost his job she might moan about that as well.

I mean, that was your own baby who you chose to have. The OP's DS is being a hero, but he shouldn't have to be. Being a young carer in a chaotic family like this is not the same as having your own kid.

Oh ideal then, leave them to it! The baby's father can keep on being a useless shit as long as the teens hold the fort. That definitely won't perpetuate the issues.

What is ridiculous is that whilst they don’t live together there is no emergency plan as to what to do, who to call. That is what is ridiculous. And very irresponsible.

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t have taken the baby with you but that’s done now. So of course your boyfriend should come and look after his own baby.

I mean. I had DS when I was 15 and I looked after him overnight by myself - I had my own place by 16 (council flat). Albeit that was a million years ago.

I was thinking that too, effectively there are 3 teens looking after a baby and 5 yo.

The 14 year old probably doesn't need much in the way of practical looking after either, and may well be a net help.

There’s no set age for kids to stay alone either.