hospital and other children are at home and partner hasn't offered to help

OP has already said he hasn't ever been that involved in taking the lead with the practical hands on care.

Family should come before work, always, especially in an emergency.

Honestly, 5 kids with 3 totally useless, disinterested deadbeat father's, please make sure your contraception is rock solid.

OP, you probably don't want your threads connected, so you change your username for every new one. But MN can be really supportive if posters know the backstory. Many people here do mean well (though they're not the most vocal). Maybe you could start a more general support thread if you'd like to? In the Relationships topic for example (it can cover many types of relationship including the one with your children).

I hope your son finds something good to do for the coming year, whether that's work or education or both. Many people have had false starts, it's not easy to choose a course that suits you when you're young.

I think it was you who might have some learning issues and was thinking of making a GP appointment for it. Did you ever get anywhere with that?

Really hope things work out for you and your kids.

Nothing op posted implies her children are in any kind of danger. This post should have remained about the fact that the father of one of the children did not meet his responsibilities.

The eldest simply should have had an easier task than the one he ended up covering.

Must be someone else with your exact other circumstances, apologies.

You previously said your eleven year old had an EHCP and was going to a special school?

Totally agree. I was babysitting babies at 13! It was the OP who was worried and didn't think a 17-year-old could handle an overnight stay. Is the OP being overdramatic about this?

PO said "hes not used to looking after the baby because i dont ask that of him especially not overnight either the most i ask is he watches baby if im bathing my other children and baby is still awake on the living room for example."

Your eldest deserves some
very special thanks. He stepped up in a way he really should not have had to do with the baby in the mix. Watching the older children in an emergency isn’t unusual, but the baby was above and beyond.

Your boyfriend deserves the metaphorical door. He clearly isn’t ready for a relationship if this is how he thinks of his role as a parent.

Ignore the posters who appear to have enjoyed putting the boot in because you're a single mum of 5 with little or no input from their fathers, OP. Some of the most resourceful and resilient people I know grew up in families where there were several siblings who had different dads and no consistent father figure.

This sort of stuff can happen in any family. At 16, I had to look after my 6-year old brother overnight when my DM had to have surgery; my father was working in Germany and his flight back was delayed by bad weather. I got him to school, picked him up afterwards, fed him etc and looked after him until DF got back the following afternoon.

However, while I think your partner should have stepped up to look after his baby, I think it sounds as though your kids did fine on their own.

So that she keeps her secure council tenancy.

Also, because the boyfriend abandoned her when she was pregnant with the last baby - and he isn't the father of any of the older boys.

Their lives are difficult enough without adding this bloke to everything.

You should feel very proud of your eldest for taking care of your baby overnight, not an easy task by any means! And also all of your kids for coping without you overnight. Sounds like you're doing a brilliant job of bringing them up without any support network 💐
The babies dad sounds like a complete waste of space however...

you really do need to make sure you are on top of all the admin you’ll have to do for your 11 year old going forward. Have you got support with that?

I'm glad your child has been discharged @dinosaursroars

And I'm glad you decided not to move in with your boyfriend. It's better all round if you stay where you are.

God I hope the hospital involves social services because every single time you post about the utter bloody chaos of your life, I think of those five little lives you are screwing up. It’s just appalling. I am so fed up with you posting thread after thread that shows just how much damage is being done, and there being no help for those children.

Exactly. I can’t see anything that makes him a partner rather than just someone that got you pregnant. 🤷🏻‍♀️

You are using the word partner, but he’s not being a partner is he.

It’s not about benefits as much as a complete lack of personal accountability/responsibility from you and the multiple fathers of your children to support them.

Have you ever worked? Contributed any tax? Or just expected the welfare state to provide you with housing, benefits, childcare provision each new baby whilst you drift in and out of relationships with numerous reckless loser men?!

Again, maybe Social Services involvement would be a good thing here…

It meant I should have noticed a typo, for a start. It is the boyfriend’s inadequacy which made me discard him as any use in the home.

I’m surprised a few teenagers are regarded as unlikely to manage a simple recipe if required (and not right away, FGS…when Mum and brother are back, and settled in again ). You'd think the need would arise quite a bit.
The eldest lad is being a terrific help of course; no aspersion meant if he’s not got a few easy family meals in his domestic skill set.

But the angry brigade are on high alert, it’s clear, so anything that might be misrepresented is going to get hammered, naturally.
(The person who said I wrote everything in jest was deliberately mishandling the truth, for example)
But orthodox or not, I hope OP can find some reliable help pdq, as she seems to lack an inbuilt sense of urgent necessity.

That poster agreed with me.

By your own argument, you have zero idea of whether 17yo and pal can cope. Check our @sparrowhawkhere's post at 11.03 for further insight on this 17yo's lot. You can be as Pollyannaish as you please, but this isn't some glitch, there are a lot of children and only one responsible adult and it is a problem - acute when there are emergencies and ongoing in other ways.

You have zero idea of that posters circumstances. She could very well have been a care leaver with no family support.

I'm sure the 17 yo and pal can cope for a day or so with mum on the end of a phone.

Because she has a housing executive
(/Council or whatever it's called) home, to throw away having that secure tenancy to live in the house of a boyfriend would be madness.

Why were poster’s advising you not to give up your flat and move in with him?