To be confused at GCSE reactions?

I was brought up to work for yourself so grades have never been needed because I’m not looking to get employed, that passed onto my children too. It goes back generations in my family. Be your own boss

They might be disappointed, but I can't see how it's going to help your child for you to also tell them how disappointed you are.
16 year olds need parents who are supportive and help them with what to do next, not someone who is going to try to make them feel worse about themselves.

My DD told me that some girls had a little sleep during some exams. Their parents are the ones making a fuss that they didn’t get to go to Prom. Shows where the parental priorities are.

DS failed his 2 years ago, he’s autistic with very complex needs. went on to get a distinction on his college course. They don’t define you. Most people do value education, both DC have learnt a hell of a lot at thier school, dd13 has glowing reports from all of her teachers. It’s not her knowledge I worry about. Most kids have the basic knowledge need they just can’t apply it when it come to exams.

I think exams themselves are outdated. They put huge pressure on teenagers and often measure how well someone performs under exam conditions rather than their actual intelligence, understanding or potential. Education should be about developing skills and knowledge, not simply memorising information to pass a few exams.

Why though? Would you telling your kids that you are disappointed help them at all?

Definitely - my child said being in low sets was like being in a zoo. Not much teaching went on by sounds of it.

And to prove the point that passing few GCSEs doesn’t mean you don’t have brains…my child got 7s in the subject they were hyper focused on in good sets and with reputable departments…they just failed everything else where they were in low sets. So yes, I think teaching standards are highly important in this convo.

Every parents’ evening, the history teacher would ask us to work on structuring of the exam question with our child. Other parents reported the same. Everybody supports teachers but I can’t help but feel it’s not that black and white. I’m not a teacher and my child has PDA. I couldn’t help them, even if I tried! And I did try… we will never know if the history dept has a tonne of fails but so far, I’ve only heard from other parents that their child failed…

Yes but not every kid can pass GCSEs that doesnt mean they have littlle brains
If you think that maybe your the one who has little brains and cant think outside your little bubble?

It was a thing at school, when I was that age to be as thick as Joey Essex. For some reason people think it's cute to act stupid.

I saw a British Indian kid in Wales get 14A*. He woke up at 4am to study and went to bed at 9pm. That's the kind of diligence I respect.

Growing up in India, DH and I did very similar. Even though we grew up with barely any money, education was drilled into us as the way forward. We tell our kids this as well.

I remember a friend of mine celebrating and hugging her son for his results. Ds & Es (before they went over to number grades). He wasn't unintelligent but neither his family, nor he, valued school. She actually gave him a congratulations card for passing all his GCSEs! I remember being astounded. My DC got Cs & Bs and while it was OKish (SEN) we were a little disappointed.

If my children came come without any GCSEs ever (didn't even pass maths and English). I wouldn't be proud. I'd be really disappointed in them and yes I'd worry about their future prospects. You're cut out of A-levels and Btec nationals. So many employment opportunities are cut off and you face a lifetime earnings gap.

Undoubtedly there will be some children who are just lazy/don't put the work in/don’t value education (usually because their parents don’t) etc, rather than them having SEN. But as casual observers not involved in the lives of these particular children, how can we know the difference? Why sit and judge, without actually knowing their circumstances? What value does it bring to our lives?
I have two highly academic children, both on academic scholarships at independent secondary schools. I have a third child with severe SEN, who is unlikely to pass a single GCSE. But people who aren’t close to us have no idea about his SEN, and may think he’s lazy/we don’t care. That couldn’t be further from the truth, but I’m not going to broadcast his struggles to everyone.

I said to dd if she failed. It just meant she would start at level 2 instead of level 3. And she could retake maths and English. And doing it in a different setting she may do even better. Education doesn't end as 16.

How would you react if your child came home with 1s, 2s, 3s?

What would be the point in telling them you're disappointed or it's a disaster, what would that achieve?

I'd say fuck it, it's only GCSEs, it doesn't define you, there are still loads of options out there, lets celebrate you've finished school and get on with the next stage.

I know a number of kids who got GCSEs this week.

Most are being celebrated - tho I suspect a range of grades are in existence.
One is gutted, but has still got the place on desired A level choices - and I suspect higher than all the above.

And the last had a fabulous day, seriously celebrating the fact they walked out with 3 grade 2s. Given they weren't supposed to survive toddler hood, it is a massive achievement. And probably harder won than any kid with straight 9s. You have no idea what circumstances lead to the grades. And for some kids those "fails" are exceeding hard won.

Yes but I think a lot of those teens and probably their parents have undiagnosed SEN.

It's due to parents not instilling the value of education and having the "grades don't matter mentality". It could be due to lack of success in the parent's life themselves.