AIBU to insist my parents book a hotel for their visit?

I can't believe people are siding with your parents! They have invited themselves to stay for 2 weeks while you are trying to work, and are being precious about what room they are in, and gone behind your backs when you try and have any say at all in it!? So entitled! No one should have to give up their bedroom for 2 weeks!

Tell them if they don't want a hotel (or better still rental where they can self cater) then they can come for 3 nights max and sleep in the spare room or wait until you are ready for them to stay longer (although I'd never be ready for guests for 2 weeks!). Their choice.

YANBU OP. You offered them a spare room, that wasn't good enough for them. Your kids have/need their rooms (which is understandable with studies and getting ready for uni). They go behind your back to try and guilt trip your kids into giving up their rooms (really not on at all, I'd be so cross with this!). If they're not happy to wait until everything is ready/sorted and they're not happy to sleep in spare room (which has a bed in it!), then it would have to be a hotel for them.

FWIW I'd not want my parents (now RIP sadly) to book a hotel if they could stay with me...but then my parents would have happily slept in any room which has a bed in it, and wouldn't have made a fuss (and wouldn't have gone behind my back to guilt trip my kids into giving up their rooms when they have uni and A Level studies to do).

Can you just go visit them for a day or two? Appreciate they’ll want to see your son before he leaves. Two weeks for a 3 hour journey is amusing - I live overseas (states) from our family and that’s how long they stay when they visit!

Can you and DH not have the spare room?

In the past me and DH have slept on a sofa bed to give visiting relatives bedrooms

YABU for making such a confusing thread. They aren’t allowed to sleep in the spare room, they don’t want to sleep in the spare room? It’s weird for family to just not make it work but I can’t work out who’s being overly rigid in this situation.

Could they have your room maybe?Its only a couple of weeks, and they may not be able to afford a hotel for 2 weeks .They would appreciate it I think

So, they want a two week holiday exploring the area, in which case suggesting they stay in a hotel is sensible.

Or they want to come and visit your new house and see your son before uni, in which case a three night visit would be fine and they go in the spare room.

Can't you just say that longer than three nights won't work

I found her parents lack of boundaries quite interesting!
We are not all interested in the same threads.

As an alternative, would you consider visiting them as a family just for a day trip, say meet them an hour from where they live for a family lunch? They get to 'see' the grandchildren, travel is manageable for both parties and everyone sleeps in their own bed.

By Xmas your spare room will be sorted.

How did your kids respond to their grandparents messages?

What was the point of this thread Op?

OP, 3 hours away is a 2 night stay at the most. I think your parents were totally out of order to message your children. I think our adult children would explode if we tried this!
Personally, I don’t understand anybody who has regular visitors staying or stays regularly at someone’s house, no matter how close they are. When does anyone ever get anything done? It is just so cloying. I always prefer to stay in an hotel and do so even if we have been offered accommodation and it is person we are close to. It gives you and the host a bit of space during the day. Our only regular visitors are when the grandchildren stay in the school holidays but they are welcome anytime.

I think it sounds like your parents don’t respect your boundaries unfortunately

Well if it's a holiday for them, then a hotel is perfect.

I would rather sleep under a bridge myself, than suggest my parents book a hotel.

This

I would not want them having to drive here every day for dinner

and then… mooch in their hotel room all day

So… this trip is a big event for them? They don’t tend to travel long distance and you won’t be seeing them often.

So it’s not only a hotel… they’ll be having to sort themself out and pay for lunch every day and then drive to you for dinner every night and then drive back to the hotel?

Seems strange to me if you are close. I would let them stay but make sure they understand the rooms aren't ready and maybe all they have is a bed in there

YANBU

You've given them several reasonable choices.

They have ignored the choices and you, because they thought they knew better and tried to bully or guilt your children because a 'not done' spare room isn't good enough for them.

Two weeks when they are only 3hrs away is insane - that's for people coming from overseas.

I wouldn't feel bad about putting them off until things are ready - and because I'm me, that could be a long while.