AIBU to insist my parents book a hotel for their visit?

Your parents sound very unreasonable.
How much time would they spend in the bedroom anyway, if they’re going to be out and about exploring during the day, then presumably having dinner and spending the evening downstairs with you all?
When you’re asleep you can’t see if your room is decorated or not … as long as you have a decent bed and are not sleeping on boxes instead of a mattress, you have what you need.
You have given them reasonable choices.

Exactly. It's your home. You're the adults. It's not their choice or your childrens.

Are they short of money? And if so, why don't they just wait a bit?

Just say you’ll have to take us as you find us! My mum would be quite happy with that and would probably get stuck in helping us sort out!

You did not suggest they sleep on the spare room

They asked to sleep in the spare room. You said NO!

I said no as the spare rooms are messy and being used for storage

Could they stay in an hotel for their first week and with you for the second? That way they get to spend some time with your DC before they go back to Uni and your other DC keeps to their own room or will they not compromise at all?

Yes, I’m fully aware of that I was just pointing out how utterly ridiculous it is.

This is very true. My mum has become more & more like this the older she’s become. Now at 82, she won’t travel any distance at all, more than about 15/20 miles. She never would’ve travelled 3 hours without an overnight stay and tbh neither would I.

I am sure you can appreciate that your perspective on the issue is probably a touch… skewed!!

Hi OP,

At first i thought you were being (very slightly) unreasonable but then I read your parents had refused to stay in the spare rooms themselves.

I’d just reiterate they are welcome to come before the rooms are fully finalised if they are happy with that. Otherwise, they should visit once theyre fully ready. Youve given them reasonable options - the choice is up to them. If theyre not happy with the rooms, visit later or book a hotel. If they want to come now and not pay for a hotel, this is the guest accommodation you have available.

As someone who lived on the streets for a while (aged 16) and learnt to lie down on quite literally anything, it boggles my mind that your parents would refuse to sleep in a spare room, simply because it wasn’t decorated!!! Genuinely baffling and that’s not an exaggeration.
We’ve lived in a new build for 7 years now and my bedroom still isn’t decorated! What slobs we are! 😆

I’d be looking in to an air BnB for them. Absolutely not a two week hotel stay

When my parents come over, they get a hotel too 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
The house isn’t big. When they are here, us, both (adult) dcs, we can hardly move in the living room.
So yes even though theyre coming from afar (as in a different country, not ‘just’ 3 hours away), hotel it is.
And Tbf too, my parents are like the OP. They want a certain standar for their bed/room which they won’t get in my house 😂😂

Doesnt stop us having a good time together. They spend the whole day with us. Everyone gets up when it’s working for them. I can’t see the issue

Are there any Air BnB options? Or holiday chalets. You ought to be able to negotiate a discounted rate for two weeks outside school holidays.

When I had some holiday lets we regularly had grandparents stay. They had a base where they could cook and entertain, and were not over-imposing on their family.

Yes we would do that but not in a big house renovation in a new house when there is a shit ton of stuff being stored. Even when my mum had a kitchen extension there was a huge amount of dust and we didn't have people staying while it was being done.

@AggroPotato I fear the visit might be a challenge anyway. When my parents came to stay they said "Oh you two just get on with your wfh, we'll be no bother." Then I swear that every 15 minutes one or the other would be at the office door asking a question: "can you remind me how your shower works"; "do you have any proper milk (full fat)"; "can you move your car, the parking space is quite narrow and I wouldn't want to scrape it"; "is there a bus/train that I can catch to visit the city - how long will it take, do you have a timetable"; "did I show you this photo from aunt Ethel's 90th birthday party". Aaaaarghhh!!!

I know it's not popular on here but I think (especially for a 2 week visit!!) staying in a hotel is the best option. That is what I do when I visit my adult dc. It helps to keep everything cordial for all of us. Their family space is not turned upside down, we're not listening in on the daily domestic mini-dramas, we can all enjoy spending time together, then each retreat to our own spaces. I imagine each of us with a small sigh of relief. And we're a low-drama, low conflict family that get on, and love each other.

No I meant the Op clearly thinks not even the teeny tiny bit unreasonable and absolutely no intention of changing her request that they book a hotel room

I think that there's a lot of truth in the saying that 'guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days'.

Two weeks is a long time to invite yourself to stay in anyone's house, even your own daughter's, especially if you insist on evicting your grandchildren from their bedrooms. They sound rather entitled.

They should either wait until the guest bedrooms have been sorted out enough to meet their high standards, stay in a hotel or stay in the guest bedrooms as they currently are, particularly as they plan to be out exploring the area most days so will only be sleeping in there.

And out of interest… are they ok with their grandparents taking their room?

Why not offer a compromise?
They come just for a night or two before son goes to uni and your kids will use the spare room. (The kids can draw straws or something.)

Then they can come for a couple of weeks to explore in a few months when the spare room is up and ready for them.

We are willing to let them sleep in the spare room but they won’t

Fair enough then; you've offered, they've said no so they don't come - or at least not until you've had time to sort the rooms

Hopefully their "formality" and "standards" will be better met at a local hotel, because with their attitude thhat's where I'd personally want them staying in future

I’d be bloody annoyed that mother messaged the children about swapping rooms when you’d already said it’s not an option! I hope they both declined the idea.
I find it presumptuous of people who expect to visit and get the best out of the deal. And if spare rooms aren’t ready for occupancy then surely that’s final…..end of discussion! Book a hotel FFS!