Was my friend out of line?

What a nasty cow your friend is. But Karma is also a bitch so hopefully will bite her in the arse. If he cab have one affair, maybe he will have another!

Have you not read the thread at all? How is this question even relevant to OPs thread about her friend being horrible about another woman?

Wow she’s cold. I’ve known a few relationships that started as affairs and have gone on to be long and happy so that isn’t the issue for me, but your friend and her partner behaving the way they have is awful. There was no need for her to go to sports day. I doubt the kids cared she was there they’d have been just as happy with only their mum there. Possibly happier in fact. Children have a knack for picking up on unpleasant atmospheres even when the adults in their lives think they’re being clever with it.

Well yeah she's nuts. Although I do wonder if the husband has fed your friend a load of bullshit about the ex. I know a few women who have had relationships with married men, who claimed their wives were abusive in some way. They turned out to be lying.

Some women don't deserve the sister label. We all have agency in our decision making most of the time. She made a decision to form a relationship with a married man with children. That kicks her firmly out of the sisterhood.

Was your friend out of line?

So many lines crossed. I wouldn't be friends with this type of person.

I would be more than sniffy in this position.

strictly speaking why are we blaming the other woman ? the man was the married one ?

what happened to women being sisters so to speak

It's probably easier for your friend to come to terms with her abysmal behaviour if she paints the mother of the children as some sort of horrific person.

I don't like your friend. She's no morals, no decency, she's really not very nice. Her and the new fella will implode one day because they are both unhealthy, selfish and horrible people.

Those poor kids.

Do you want to be friends with someone who is fundamentally unkind? I wouldn’t.

It’s OK to find a friends behaviour so morally reprehensible that you see them in a new light and don’t want to hang out with them anymore.

That would be the case here for me. She’s not a nice person. Especially considering children are involved. Life is too short to be friends with arseholes, let alone listen to them being nasty.

I had this happen to me

My ex ran off with my best mate (!) just after I'd had his baby

They'd been shagging the whole of my pregnancy and his ds (from his 1st marriage) went to the same school as mine other dc did

I didn't know they where both going to rock up at sports day ('for the sake of his first ds,he thinks of me as mummy' this child already had a mummy who wasn't best happy) and the teachers asked me to leave my buggy in the school and carry my 6 month old ds round the school field (which i did)

Apparently I was 'rubbing her nose in it' by carrying my baby ds around on the school field (she couldn't have kids and was desperate enough to have tried to take him with her when they'd come to my house to tell me they where shagging) and kicked off because I refused to hand ds over to her

She also got 'sniffy' (read,'went mental and kicked off') when my school mum friends refused to speak to her

I should have been pleased he'd found a 'better woman' than I was

She repeated this at the Christmas assembly (they'd broken up by then) and kicked off because he was asleep in his pushchair (she thought he should have been sat with her) and was banned from the school

Some people are just nasty and very deluded

Your ‘friend’ and her cheating partner are vile humans. The kids will be so confused and will be the ones in the middle for years to come.

I hope the ex wife gets way more than she is entitled to and I hope your friend gets cheated on by this vile man.

Block her, you don’t need this ‘friend’ in your life.

If anyone doesn’t understand narcissists this is a good thread to help them. She is a raging narcissist (maybe not diagnosable with NPD but definitely extremely high in traits) and I would give her a wide berth because she will turn that on you if you don’t go along with her self focussed BS.

She might have meant that but it’s not what she said. And also that’s not even correct, it may be a free county but if I just wanted to walk into a random primary school grounds and watch some kids for the day I wouldn’t be allowed, ‘free country’ doesn’t translate to it being ok for anyone to enter school grounds.

Out of line? She’s so far over the line she obviously can’t even see it any more. If she were my friend I’m afraid I be laying out the bare facts for her (ie; She’s completely delusional and a nasty bitch) before stepping away completely.

Your friend is vile. I wouldn’t be continuing the friendship and would be telling her why. We need to start holding people accountable for their shitty behaviour.

I hope you look back on that time and also recognise you were groomed. 33 and 17 is not ok, marriage or no x

Your friend is horrible. In fact I think she would be an ex friend now.

I think she means it’s a free country and if the kids wanted her there. I mean OF COURSE she should have said ‘sorry I can’t make it’.

Or not wrecked someone’s marriage in the first place.

Time to drop this “friend.” Nasty, vile piece of work. Imagine turning up to the kids of an affair after 3 months of knowing them and not even accompanied by the partner - that’s disgusting. I couldn’t be friends with someone like that and they’d be getting an earful from me that’s for sure.

What are you going to do?

Maybe. Years 4 and 6? Presented as dad’s fun friend?

Years ago I remember going on holiday with a friend and her family. Halfway through the dad’s female ‘best friend’ showed up to stay for a few days and the mum disappeared into the office room of the holiday house for most of the rest of the trip to ‘work’ and the dad and the mate hung out with us and went on walks together etc. The friend was so fun we all loved her.

It was only YEARS later and after the parents got divorced I figured out what the setup was!

OP she obviously didn’t ’have a right’ to go to the kids sports day, she’s not a parent or guardian, weird of you to have that opinion. She sounds like a total cow though, I’d be ending the friendship there.

I would stop being friends with this mate - you clearly have different values.

I have a few male friends who have left their wives for OW and when down the line they’ve tried to integrate the mistresses into our friend group / have us round for dinner i’ve always politely declined and just said politely but directly I can’t see us being friends as we clearly have vastly different values.

If the sexes were reversed, would you be complaining about misandry? I very much doubt it.

This

Your friend is demonising this poor ex whose life she has ruined. She has no moral compass whatsoever, she did not need to be at the sports day. Why on earth would the ex not be sniffy? She stole her husband, your friend is making this woman out to be a monster and hating her rather than dealing with her own feelings of guilt. The new parter is obviously a piece of a shit, but an even bigger one - sees his kids one weekend day a week, cant be bothered to go to sports day and now thinks its ok to send his affair partner where his ex wife will be.

I had a friend who got with someone elses boyfriend (no kids involved) and she made some awful comments about the girlfriend and when I challenged her it came from a place of jealousy. In your friends case it sounds a bit like that and her just being an unremitting bitch