Was my friend out of line?

The affair is one thing but she shouldn’t be getting close to the children this quickly and going to the sports day this soon was way out of line.

Are people blaming her for the affair? Or more so for her being staggeringly cruel and nasty to and about his ex wife, as well as getting involved with the kids irresponsibly quickly?

She sounds like an absolute weirdo with zero emotional intelligence

The mother of the children will be in much turmoil and pain while your friend seems hell bent on making things even worse for her.

The poster mentioning sisterhood above clearly doesn't know the meaning of the word.

I would walk away from any friendship who behaved like your friend OP. You haven't seen this side of her before because her mask had yet to slip. Don't be in any doubt how malicious and cruel she is. She is showing you just how much pain she is happy to inflict on another woman and mother.

I couldn't be friends with this awful woman and tbh it doesn't make you look very good either. And no, she had no right to be at the sports day, she's known the kids 5 minutes! Does your friend have children? How much younger is she than the wife?

Please say you are t going to be friends wit the is woman any longer. She is selfish and cruel.

You don’t need her in your life.

Your friend is a cunt.

Your friend is an arsehole who is pretending to me mummy

I have a friend who is having an affair, both married with kids. I have been feeling increasingly uncomfortable with the situation because it feels like the deeper she gets into the affair the less empathy she has for anybody else involved and the more she manages to justify her behaviour to the point she now frames herself as the victim.

It has made me see my friend very differently and I am starting to pull back from the friendship, whilst I didn’t approve of the affair it wasn’t something I expected to effect our friendship as I try not to judge and understand things from all perspectives. However, the way she talks about it is from such a selfish place and is so devoid of empathy towards anyone else it’s making me question who she actually is deep down and I am struggling to understand it. I know she has to live with herself 24/7 and maybe the only way she can do that is to find a way to justify it by dehumanising the people she is hurting but it is so unpleasant to hear and making me really question who she is deep down.

I’m not quick to judge or condemn somebody for doing something morally questionable if they show guilt, remorse, empathy etc but when there is a complete lack of these, such as with your friend, it does throw everything into question. Your friend’s behaviour shows that she is selfish and uncaring and willing to dehumanise another to make herself look and feel better. In your situation I would be pulling away from the friendship, as I’m realising I need to do in my case.

She's slagging off the mother of her boyfriend's children to OP. Where is the sisterhood in that behaviour?

She's basically saying that the children's mother has had her turn with her own children and it's time for her to slip away quietly and give her children to OP's friend. OP's friend is deluded, callous and ridiculous. Her being a woman doesn't excuse this behaviour.

OP is being perfectly reasonable to see her friend in a new light and to decide that she no longer wishes to be friends with her.

Your friend hates her because the alternative is to look at herself and see who she really is.
People don't generally like to do that, so they hate their victim, because their victim is a constant reminder of what they are.

Still doesn’t matter. If you know a man is married you stay away. She is not innocent in all this!

The question you’re asking is so patently ridiculous that I’m tempted to believe this some sort of reverse by the ex.

Ooh so disgusting that you think being a ‘sister’ means you accept morals like this.
Both are to blame. BOTH

I suppose the man may have gone overboard on the whole, 'my marriage is over, we just live together for convenience/the children, there's no love left, we don't have sex' etc etc and your friend may have fallen for it so expected the wife to be indifferent, but...

I actually just think your friend is a pos and I'd bail.

Bad enough to start a relationship with an affair (no, not blaming this all on her!) but to then insert yourself into things like this so soon is awful.
The poor ex must have felt sick seeing her - although I’m sure in time she’ll be thankful her weak minded husband has gone!

As for the kids asking her to go - if that is true, then she should have said she can’t but
cant wait to hear all about it when they get back.

She sounds utterly awful. I’d be distancing myself completely from now on, I’d be embarrassed to be her friend tbh

You are the company you keep. Why are you still friends with this scum bag cheater of a person. You absolutely can pass judgement on people who do vile things. Isn’t she showing you how vile she is?? Turning up at the sports day and having the audacity to expect the mother to be nice to her.

because he could have told her x y z to begin with etc

She will be sniffly when he cheats on her, only a matter of time. But yes she shouldn't of gone to the children's sports day it's weird for a 3 month relationship.

So no you’ve not read what the thread is about then.

Sniffy!? SNIFFY?

fuck me, id be raging

your friend is an appalling person @littleonesleepy

id drop her and tell her why.

I'd blame both people having the affair for the affair.

So because the friend was single it’s okay she takes no blame? Where is the sisterhood there that you go on about??

I don’t need sisters like that thanks!

Also I blamed them both in my previous comment.

because an affair took place if the friend was single then why blame her for the affair ?