Was my friend out of line?

She's a vile immature bitch. She turned up to that sports day purely to piss off her new man's ex..she definitely wasnt wanted there by his kids she's probably seen them all of a handful of times since she moved in her affair partner. She shouldn't have met them at all at this point but she's turned up there purposely to antagonise the kids mum. She doesn't care about those kids at all and I bet if he stopped seeing them she would be happy about it

Id leave her to it she will soon be fed up being a mother and im sure he wont want anymore, i give it 6 more months

I Wonder if the ex-husband was maybe emotionally abusive.

Take away the affair, and any decent man would not think this is reasonable behaviour: to let the new girlfriend, who he's just left his wife for, go to Sports Day.

I even find it completely bizarre that the children go to his house every week so soon.

Probably not - they are there one day at the weekend and will do 'fun things'. She has never had to make sure the kids have gone to bed on time, done their homework, eaten healthily. She will be dad's fun friend - but they won't see her as a mum

Misogyny?! Really?! Nasty cow is a polite term for what that woman is. Having an affair with a married man, who is also a father doesn’t just betray the wife, it betrays the kids. Changes their whole future. And to think she’s entitled to play step mum and berate the wife, wow. She is a disgusting woman.

After 3months she shouldn't even know his kids let alone go to their sports day

She needs therapy! He does too. I couldn't be friends

You either call her out and say you don't want to listen to her criticism of someone you don't know whose husband has just left her, or just start to drop as a friend. Her values and moral compass have changed direction.

Could be wrong. But your friend sounds pretty immature. I had a friend in this situation. To her, the man’s Wife was the Other Woman. The woman in the way, the woman who wanted more than she was entitled to, and who did not know her place now that my friend was with her estranged husband. If your friend can convince herself the mother of this man’s children is bitchy, scheming, greedy, bitter, lazy, whatever, then obviously Mr. Wonderful is well out of it and it’s all wifey’s fault. And she has a clean conscience. You might try to coax your friend into trying to see the wife’s point of view. It probably won’t change much, but it’s to your friend’s benefit to be civil and polite because, like it or not, the wife and the man have kids together and the wife will continue to be in the picture.

@littleonesleepy

Your friend is an absolute bitch and frankly I wouldn't want to be associated with her. I prefer my friends to be nice people.

Who is to 'blame' for the affair (ie single AF or married man) isn't the issue at this point, although sleeping with a married man is enough for me to end a friendship. The real issue now is that your friend is obviously incapable of any kind of sympathy or empathy.

I doubt that a man like this will turn out to be the prize she’s expecting.
It’s incredibly selfish.
Bloody awful for the wife, and confusing for the kids.

It's really horrible behaviour by both of them and to my mind a sign of vast immaturity and insecurity on hers. She's trying to insert herself aggressively where she has no business for some kind of ertsatz 'status'. Poor children and their mother.

What a aelfish pair of twats they are. I'd be telling her straight. The relationship won't last. She'll lose him the way she got him.

Assuming what she has told you is right, then you know full well very few people on here are going to say she is was reasonable.

On MN, shagging a married man ranks worse than murder!

Your friend is spiteful & malicious

Your friend sounds a spiteful cow TBH!
I met DH several years after his divorce and I speak about his ex with compassion and kindness even though I don’t know the woman! But your friend blew this whole woman’s world apart and expects her to not be sniffy! She’s lucky his wife didn’t punch her lights out!

Well I hope she marries him and he does the same to her!
attending sports day is outrageous

Setting aside the affair and the ex, I couldnt be friend with someone so fucking selfish and stupid that she thought it was appropriate to turn up in those kids lives like that, and that she thought it was okay for him to treat his own kids that way. Genuinely disgraceful behaviour.

Dump her, evil bitch.

Let me guess you guys are in your 20s, the bloke is in his 40s.

Your friend sounds bitterly jealous of ex and is determined to basically take over the role of the 'wife' to prove she is better. Anything will go as she loves him and putting herself first yadadada and she will 'win'

Next she will be pregnant and decide she doesnt want the kids around so much.

I would stay out of it completely . Not your circus, not your clowns.

She sees the other perspective OP, but when you are so categorically in the wrong, all you can really do is deny, deny.

Ex wives almost always get slagged off by the subsequent partner. I take it with a grain of salt on these boards when a woman tries to claim the ex is abominable. I always feel like asking what it says about them if their DP has such poor taste.

I hope he gives her the clap.

And also how that translates into her dealings with the children. Seems like a massive misjudgement, what else is she trying to do, with the Dads endorsement?

So young children who have spent a total (at most) of 12 days with this vile woman, "asked her" to attend their sports day?!!? Pull the other one. She went deliberately to get sight of the ex-wife and make sure she was suffering. And she's gloating about that. What would she even have to say to the other mothers at the sports day: "Hi, I'm just here with Sophie and Charlie. I'm their new step-mother."??? Bet that went down well.
If you are any kind of a friend to this woman, I would read her the riot act. Tell her in excruciating details how much she is hurting the other woman and the children. And how she is extremely selfish. Then drop her.