AIBU to feel fed up with my husband on holiday?

Aww thank you! Yes I think that some of the people in here saying 10+ hours of sleep whilst on holiday are likely to be fibbing. No one else I know with children does that for 12 nights 😂 I am not being extreme as some have suggested. The thing is I’m not really this kind of (all inclusive) holiday person to be honest. I don’t drink or eat much and I would be happy self catering somewhere but I get up, slap on a smile because this is what suits everyone else, I’m jolly and easy going (like I was trained to be as a child) and which is why people like being around me because I make everything easier for everyone and always have. Sun tan lotion? Got it, water? got it, 4 heavy towels and a snack? Got it. I will drag the sun loungers, I will walk to the shop for medicine when people don’t feel well, the list is endless. And I don’t even really mind most of the time, I don’t have to do it, I could say no but I choose to do it but my god I refuse to be jolly when someone tells me they’re sweating for the 100th time because they’ve eaten 3 kebabs and come to a roasting hot country that they chose! So people will have to forgive me having a rant I’m afraid, it’s that or ruin things for the kids which I absolutely refuse to do.

He wouldn’t like a cruise. We’ve been in the sea today and he’s currently moaning that he still feels like he’s bobbing up and down 😂 I’ve showered both kids while he lays on the bed. My aim is to be rid of him by the next holiday.

He actually offered to do their sun tan lotion earlier, can you imagine a man so detached from what is actually happening that he asked if I wanted him to put lotion on 1 child 😂 once in 10 days hahahaha. Honestly I wouldn’t even trust him with them. He got burnt on the 1st day because he couldn’t reach his own back and for some reason he didn’t ask me (I was likely playing with the kids in the pool even though I hate being cold in water) we went in the sea earlier and I turned around and he was 100 yds away with no concern for his children whatsoever. Just me and two kids, one of whom can’t swim. He’s so self conscious of his body that he needed to be deep (he doesn’t say this but I know it to be true) so I am left to ensure their safety. Of course he sees no problem with this at all despite one of our children being disabled and therefore very vulnerable (wearing a life jacket) but you know I called him fat and lazy so I must be a complete cow that he’s trying to avoid by staying in bed.

He’s lucky to even breathe the same air as me and I don’t care how conceited I sound 🤷🏻‍♀️ I have realised whilst I’m here that my dream of him meeting someone else and leaving me for them will not happen. No way he’s letting go of someone that puts up with his crap like I do.

Aww thank you! Yes I think that some of the people in here saying 10+ hours of sleep whilst on holiday are likely to be fibbing. No one else I know with children does that for 12 nights 😂 I am not being extreme as some have suggested. The thing is I’m not really this kind of (all inclusive) holiday person to be honest. I don’t drink or eat much and I would be happy self catering somewhere but I get up, slap on a smile because this is what suits everyone else, I’m jolly and easy going (like I was trained to be as a child) and which is why people like being around me because I make everything easier for everyone and always have. Sun tan lotion? Got it, water? got it, 4 heavy towels and a snack? Got it. I will drag the sun loungers, I will walk to the shop for medicine when people don’t feel well, the list is endless. And I don’t even really mind most of the time, I don’t have to do it, I could say no but I choose to do it but my god I refuse to be jolly when someone tells me they’re sweating for the 100th time because they’ve eaten 3 kebabs and come to a roasting hot country that they chose! So people will have to forgive me having a rant I’m afraid, it’s that or ruin things for the kids which I absolutely refuse to do.

He wouldn’t like a cruise. We’ve been in the sea today and he’s currently moaning that he still feels like he’s bobbing up and down 😂 I’ve showered both kids while he lays on the bed. My aim is to be rid of him by the next holiday.

I think he has sleep apnea yes. I do wake him up but I wait until a time that I know he won’t be completely miserable (just a bit miserable 😂) I have been doing my own thing a bit but my children are young and I wouldn’t just go out for hours. I’ve told them we’re having an early night tonight because they don’t want to get up for breakfast (not their fault we’ve been in bed late) and they’re okay with that but I can guarantee you that he will scroll his phone for hours and not be able to get up. If the kids are up I’ll take them to breakfast etc, I’m an independent person I can do stuff alone but I wouldn’t leave them with him for hours - they prefer me because I’ve done all their care their whole life (even when working full time).

I’m not stupid, I know this is a dead relationship but I just wanted to rant. But everyone seems to want to tell you you’re wrong and that you should just leave (it’s my house I’m not sure why women always think it’s the woman that should leave) Mumsnet would have hardly any threads if everyone was a relationship expert and just ended unhappy ones like everyone claims to do and tells you to do.

It’s warmed my heart to know that if I finally get rid of this man that so many of you wonderful women would be more than happy with an obese, moaning man that needs 10+ hours of sleep (that’s what holidays are for after all) it’s great to know that my children will have a lovely, understanding step Mum that never gets mad at him and tells him he’s not fat at all, the sweat pouring from his head at all times isn’t one bit embarrassing or his own fault for wanting to book an all inclusive holiday to Morocco in August knowing the average temperatures and doing zero exercise despite being considerably younger than me. You’re all so much better than me. You’ll have to excuse me while I go and mutter expletives in the shower, don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings after all.

He most likely does yes. He also is very ashamed of his weight. He has some sort of personality disorder that is definite. I spoke to his Mum and she almost encouraged me to separate from him. He has some trauma and that is sad. It is also not my fault. I do everything. I provide everything in our life that is good. On top of working. The roof over his head is provided by me. He isn’t a people pleaser, he pleases only himself. I don’t think he can help it though, I think a psychologist would have a field day with him.

OP, I’m sorry that you are so unhappy and frustrated. It sounds no way to live for you, and I imagine the DC are picking up the vibes. I really hope you find a way to a happier life, even though this will undoubtedly lead to some difficult decisions.

OP I’m completely with you! This man would give me the ick!

I do do this. I genuinely do. However, this is the 1st time we’ve let the kids stay up late on holiday (11-12pm) and therefore they have also been late getting up. Last year, I took them to breakfast while he slept. I have no problem with that at all (but he did complain about himself, full of self loathing etc which I grey rocked). I was frustrated yesterday because they were all still asleep and I would never leave them at a time I thought they might wake. I am getting better at not helping him and managing him. I just needed to moan. I was defensive because I 100% know that if I had written a post about whether people felt 10+ hours sleep a night with young children on holiday most people would have said it was a bit excessive. Also, people are offended by the word fat for some reason. It’s just a word. It accurately describes him and his mentality. He just told me he wants some cheesecake, I am currently reapplying sun tan lotion in our children for the 2nd time while he lays on the bed talking about cheesecake. I dare anyone to not feel murderous faced with that.