AIBU to get sick of DH strop

Next time? There wouldn't ever be a next time. The ungrateful twat can sort himself out.

I am also the main organiser (including holidays) of a family of three although in my case it's the teen that's grumpy, moody and unappreciative and DH that has manners.

I say don't do it again. People like your DH will NEVER appreciate the support work. Instead they will just expect more and more of it. Put yourself first sometimes, spend money on yourself; do things YOU like. A family holiday should not need to involve a planning spreadsheet.

If DH wants to do long distance walks he can spring for the organised kind or make his own sodding spreadsheet.

You can still take him for a nice meal at the end. IF he apologises for his childish behaviour on this occasion.

He was probably shattered and emotional and starving hungry - yes, his behaviour wasn’t ideal but those long distance hikes can really take it out of you both physically and emotionally.

Hopefully he’s feeling better this morning and you can all move on.

He is being an arsehole. No need to take the small mistake out on you. Hope he is in a better mood today and you can discuss this.

Speaking from experience here, after completing long distance sporting events you end up completely doolally with low blood sugar. Your oh and dd would have been fantasising about what they would eat, maybe even checking out the hotel menu, looking forward to sitting down and resting their aching legs. I remember completing my first marathon and almost wanting to cry seeing the only food stand with a huge long queue. I couldn’t bear to stand for another minute.

It sounds like you did a really good job overall. The hiccup with the restaurant would have been a catastrophe in your relatives’ mind because they were building up to it. However, once they’ve had a good sleep and good breakfast they’ll be right as rain again.

Next time, keep a back up option on the spreadsheet for the ‘last meal’ and book yourself a spa day or two, plus a trip to the launderette. As the support act, you need to take care of yourself, too.

He’s a prick and so is the woman that called you scatty. Don’t help him out again. It was a complete mistake. Shit like this winds me up! Same with all these celebs doing stuff for charity, poor them, getting all the love and praise and support. Meanwhile there’s a woman somewhere in the background doing all the work, holding shit down! Scatty my arse.

Deep down I know my Dd and DH really do appreciate it.

Yeaaah, but they should be saying it and showing it.

Not so deep down that you have to imagine it. 🤔

That falls into the fooling yourself/delusional category 😂

If he's taking you for granted, give him a row about it. Otherwise it'll just get worse.

Don't be a martyr to their hobby if they don't at least thank you with words at some point soon.

Think about his perspective a moment.
Finished his epic walk, looking forward to a meal at the "official" hotel. I.e. one associated with completion. He was on some sort of emotional journey at that point. Were there others on this walk, who he wanted to share nods across the restaurant with, the shared camaraderie of completion?

The curry may have been lovely, but you had to scratch around to find it, eat later than planned when he was knackered and not have the version of the end he had pictured.

I think you can afford him to have had a bit of disappointment at that. If it continues today, then it probably moves into the unreasonable territory.

Hopefully the reaction from dh was just disappointment and overwhelm after such a big achievement.

I remember nearly crying once when we had done a huge 4 day hike/camp, with the promise of a pub tea at the end, but the pub being shut when we got there. I'd found the walk challenging and that was a focus for the end and I struggled with the anticlimax of the change of plan

Stropping and sulking is never a good look, for a child or an adult! But if thats not a usual reaction from him, I'd try and move on this morning. The three of you need to shift the focus on how well the actual long distance walk went

I would say though, that my lovely, slightly oblivious husband would not have gone in a strop for a mistake like that.

Poor you. Life in a camper van is very cramped especially with three people. That is stress in itself and then add in a dog. You deserve a medal - all of you. I think he is stroppy because he is tired, was likely spending the walk keeping an eye on the teen and possibly realising that he isn’t as young and fit as he used to be. He does know you’ve been doing a lot of the heavy lifting and perhaps feels a bit guilty at that but good old wifie, she always comes up trumps and then you didn’t. I think mix in tiredness, cortisol, general aches and pains then he was a grump. He shouldn’t have been and it is deeply unfair on you. He thinks that you have had a holiday. You haven’t. I also do the quiet seething - got a PHd in quiet seething! My husband too, is an absolutely lovely man but will blithely carry on with events he commits to do with little realisation on the impact on me. Don’t be me and I think when the time is right, and that may not be today, have a quiet word and also book yourself a spa or whatever break just for you for a couple of nights. I get the campervan hygene thing. Unless you are in a fab touring park - and there are many with super facilities, keeping clean using communal facilities, some with 20p coinage or push button showers and damp floors, always leaves one feeling a bit ragged.

Then I guess you need to remind them of your role or if they decide to do something like this again then step back from it and say they need to join an organised group.

Ahh that's a real shame about the booking BUT if he was really bothered, he could have checked himself.

Don't martyr yourself, next time let them pay someone to be sherpa.

That'll be why it was so miserable then 😅 She should have been able to do a few really nice things otherwise it's nothing in it for her and they'll think she doesn't need to do anything/doesn't mind just disappearing and not being thought of until her services are needed!

Have they said thank you at all for the support you've given ?

Did you need to go along too? Sounds like it was a dad and daughter event, so maybe I would have left them to have this time doing the walk and then celebrated when they got home.

If you don't shout about what you're doing to facilitate and make them sick up the slack they will just take you for granted! So if he carries on maybe explain all you've done for them and tell him to piss off. And take yourself off somewhere lovely!

And you should have tried to pick along route for stuff you like, shopping, spa day, beach, pottery workshops, eating at different cafés, new books.Next time maybe book dog into kennels for the week as it's quite hard to do those things with him.

She was trying to do free / cheap things.

If I understand correctly you knew it wasn’t a holiday per se? Your job was to support them on their hike so I’m not sure why you thought things would be any different? He was obviously knackered and sore so I would cut him some slack and move on.

Martyring yourself a bit! You could have packed extra bits or maybe looked at doggy daycare for a few hours some days? Or pickup collection of groceries/clothes. Tied the dog up outside shops, left in caravan a few hours after a big walk???
You could've showered at gyms with a day pass. Even some service stations have them. Or a lovely spa 😍 or hotel pool.

I would be annoyed about missing the reservation too but he's BU to be punishing you. Perhaps in future they can share the load and use their own phones for booking and checking their reservations etc
Why didn't anyone think to check as soon as they'd finished?

And you should have tried to pick along route for stuff you like, shopping, spa day, beach, pottery workshops, eating at different cafés, new books.
Next time maybe book dog into kennels for the week as it's quite hard to do those things with him.

Is he often a moody git? If not I’d cut him some slack, if he is I’d be pissed off!

Oh no that was a shame. I feel for you OP. He's so focused on them and their achievement that he's taken your input for granted. He should be more gracious about the mix up.