Impossible bed dilemma— AIBU? Am I missing the solution?

https://www.happybeds.co.uk/phoenix-oak-finish-wooden-ottoman-storage-bed-frame-4ft6-double?campaign_id=22204756968&asset_group_id=6705442528&adgroup_id=&creative_id=&keyword=&device=m&network=x&ad_type=pla_with_promotion&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22204758414&gbraid=0AAAAADNNkT2Am0fRIYQUYE4rPwKI-4NO9&gclid=CjwKCAjw7p_UBhBlEiwAhpIs7xn9o0fcZWcWFZu4DRoq1Gy4lkUDxiNf9YwrrhUfKzqG3b0X_HCcoBoClkwQAvD_BwE we bought something very similar to this….might be this very bed and it’s been great.

Simple - get a double bed that comes as 2 singles that zip together same with the mattresses

We have a wooden frame from ikea, will try to dig out the name. It’s very unobtrusive and we fit plenty under it. You can get people to assemble furniture on taskrabbit, but DH assembled this bed 4 times in 4 different houses by himself. They deliver if you are willing to pay.

Ime most flat packs that are sold online list the package dimensions as well as the actual item dimensions. So as long as the package dimensions will fit (create a similar sized package out of cereal boxes to test it out if you have to!), you can then assemble it in place. Look on local Facebook pages for handymen etc if you need assembly help.

I wouldn't recommend trying to assemble a flatpack bed by yourself. It always gets to the point where there just aren't enough hands to hold things in position and screw things in at the same time. If you can't get a friend to help you out, or don't want to risk a friendship with the inevitable assembly arguments, you might be able to find someone on airtasker.com or taskrabbit.co.uk, although availability may vary dependent on where you are. IIRC on airtasker you put a request up and people bid for the job, while on taskrabbit you describe the job and pick from a list of people the site serves up to you. It's more expensive than doing it yourself, obviously, but is likely to achieve a more sturdy result.

Four years ago I bought the Ashley bed frame in white from The Original Bedstead Company. There is loads of storage room underneath, it’s easy to assemble and very sturdy … no wobbles or movement at all. I bought the small double size which is perfect for one and leaves plenty of room in the bedroom. I purchased online as a family member had one of these beds & she recommended it. They make many different styles & colours and have very good reviews.
The only part that I couldn’t advise on is getting it up a small staircase! Maybe you could contact the company and ask for advice on that?

OP, I have a king size bed in a double room and it fits fine, but it’s a bit of a pain. I’d stick to double if I were you. I’m a single parent too and I don’t think I’ve once slept on the other side, so a king can be a bit of a waste!

Headboard: get one that’s nailed to the wall rather than attached to the frame. It’ll reduce the number of parts that could squeak.

Bed: get a futon style solid thing with built in storage. Low to the ground but high enough for storage. They exist, won’t be flat pack but will be able to slide up the stairs, especially if two single bed things that can be zipped together to make a double.

OP, I’d go double if the room isn’t particularly big, so you have a bit more room for a bedside table and to get round the bed. You need to go and look at beds and see what you like - you can test them out to check they don’t wobble. Speak to someone in the shop about the difficulties of getting it up a small twisty staircase - you won’t be the first person to have had such a problem.

I loved my IKEA metal frame which has a sturdy built in headboard, they don’t seem to do the girly swirly one anymore but the basic one is cheap and you can dress it up with nice linens and cushions. Will come flat packed so you can get it up the stairs.

As for the mattress there are loads that come compressed so arrive really small and then it will expand once you get it up the stairs (memory foam type).

Good luck! I know how making all these decisions can be overwhelming sometimes 🫣

www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/stjaernoe-bed-frame-white-luroey-s79563365/

have you tried ChatGPT? You can put in dimensions etc as well to get suggestions