Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be angry that my husband is unconcerned about women’s safety?

438 replies

Peedoffdoesntcutit · 21/08/2026 19:59

To be pissed off with my husband. I said how upset I am that the child abuse and rape leaflet from the government is judged as necessary and we are continuing to let these men into our country who pose a threat to women. He just shrugged - I said doesn’t it bother you these men are coming into our society. We have daughters , I am a woman. I absolutely do not feel safe anymore where we live and would not walk on my own anymore. He said no not really. Absolutely furious with him. Does he not have to care as he’s a big tall man? I’m so pissed off, I’ve walked off and he’s given me the ick.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
Marroon · 22/08/2026 19:59

EmeraldShamrock000 · 22/08/2026 19:49

I have just checked the names and nationalities of the women murdered since January. One was killed by two women, one was horrendously killed by an Irish man in Co Waterford, a horrendous attack. The other 6 including the Brazilian lady yesterday were murdered by non Irish.
Lastly one is questionable as Nora aged 54, man 40’s arrested but he hasn’t been identified.
So it’s not misinformation.

factcheckni.org/articles/femicide-in-ireland-were-85-of-women-murdered-this-year-killed-by-foreign-migrants/

Looking first at the Republic of Ireland, eight women had been killed in violent circumstances during 2026 at the time the claim was made.
Of those eight cases:

  • one had no publicly identified suspect;
  • one involved two juvenile female suspects whose identities are legally protected;
  • one involved a suspect reported as Irish;
  • one involved a man wanted by Gardaí but not charged in Ireland;
  • four involved suspects publicly reported as non-Irish nationals.

So at a maximum 4 out of 8 women were murdered by non Irish nationals of non disclosed citizenship or status. That isn’t 85% whatever way you count it up.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 22/08/2026 19:57

Marroon · 22/08/2026 19:29

Do you realise this is a fake statistic circulated on FB that you’re parroting on as facts?
Feel free to back it up with evidence.

You can look at the names yourself it is not a long list. Too long for women’s lives but not too long to read.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 22/08/2026 19:49

BasildonBonds · 22/08/2026 19:33

Thank you for pointing that out. How awful that pp is spreading disinformation. Isn't that against MN rules?

I have just checked the names and nationalities of the women murdered since January. One was killed by two women, one was horrendously killed by an Irish man in Co Waterford, a horrendous attack. The other 6 including the Brazilian lady yesterday were murdered by non Irish.
Lastly one is questionable as Nora aged 54, man 40’s arrested but he hasn’t been identified.
So it’s not misinformation.

EasternStandard · 22/08/2026 19:47

EmeraldShamrock000 · 22/08/2026 19:45

I am not sure anymore what the motivation is.

Same

GiaGia16 · 22/08/2026 19:46

It’s all totally unconvincing

EmeraldShamrock000 · 22/08/2026 19:45

BoredZelda · 22/08/2026 19:42

Glee? Is that how you see it? I don’t think either side is acting with glee over the rape of women. I see it as weaponisation v combating of misinformation. I don’t think any government official, politician or any other official would be grateful when considering someone being killed and injured.

I am not sure anymore what the motivation is.

EasternStandard · 22/08/2026 19:42

BoredZelda · 22/08/2026 19:35

It also doesn’t take many brain cells to realise correlation and causation are different things. For example, the reduction of violent crime in the US correlates with the reduction in cottage cheese consumption. You think they are linked?

The ONS when issuing the figures cautioned that the rise in reporting does not mean there is a rise in incidences. You know what else happened in March of 2021? The horrific rape and murder of Sarah Everard. Do you think it is likely that this high profile case, and the discourse that surrounded it might have led to more women being emboldened to come forward and report their sexual assaults. Women can take months or years to report as there is no statute of limitations. Do you think it’s possible that a number of those women reporting between April and June 2021 were bringing cases that had happened in previous years?

Rape Crisis have done the research as to why there was a jump in numbers. It’s worth a look, but I warn you, there is absolutely nothing they have found which suggests immigration is a problem so you won’t like it. Unless you want to suggest that an independent charity set up to protect women and girls would ignore that data, which would really thwart their efforts.

https://rapecrisis.org.uk/news/32-percent-jump-in-annual-number-of-reported-sexual-offences/

Victims do exist so why ignore them?

BoredZelda · 22/08/2026 19:42

EmeraldShamrock000 · 22/08/2026 19:17

Yes, we all notice it too, the absolute glee from the left, it isn’t any different than the other side at all.
The absolute glee when the London railway stabber man although black had an English name.
The government wiped their brows of sweat, grateful it was not an immigrant, no blood on their hands, how sad is that? That’s where we’re at. Everyone saving their own arse, instead of dealing with violence and rape for years, they’re allowing 100,000’s more men in.

Glee? Is that how you see it? I don’t think either side is acting with glee over the rape of women. I see it as weaponisation v combating of misinformation. I don’t think any government official, politician or any other official would be grateful when considering someone being killed and injured.

BoredZelda · 22/08/2026 19:35

WorkHardPlay · 22/08/2026 16:14

Your argument isn’t relevant to OP’s point, and it’s also inaccurate. The point isn’t that white, British men don’t commit crime …. The point is that undocumented immigration from countries that have horrific cultural beliefs about women, increases the risk to women in the UK.

(and when I say horrific - I mean horrific! When was the last time you saw a legal public stoning, hanging or rape of a woman in the UK?)

Here are some actual facts for everyone:

  • Small boat crossings and illeagal migration started to climb on a major level in 2015/16.
  • For the same period (after remaining relatively flat since 2002) rape and sexual offences also began to grow in the UK from 2015/16.
  • Total small boat arrivals skyrocketed from 8,400 in 2020, to over 28,500 in 2021 … guess what else reached an all time high in 2021? Between April and June 2021, police recorded 17,285 rape offenses—the highest single quarterly figure documented up to that point.

You really don’t need to look very hard to see the undeniable fact that importing undocumented, young men from backgrounds that despise women (many of whom have criminal backgrounds, and have committed crimes to get here) - leads to a greater risk to women’s safety.

I mean, just a few brain cells would allow you to realise it!

It also doesn’t take many brain cells to realise correlation and causation are different things. For example, the reduction of violent crime in the US correlates with the reduction in cottage cheese consumption. You think they are linked?

The ONS when issuing the figures cautioned that the rise in reporting does not mean there is a rise in incidences. You know what else happened in March of 2021? The horrific rape and murder of Sarah Everard. Do you think it is likely that this high profile case, and the discourse that surrounded it might have led to more women being emboldened to come forward and report their sexual assaults. Women can take months or years to report as there is no statute of limitations. Do you think it’s possible that a number of those women reporting between April and June 2021 were bringing cases that had happened in previous years?

Rape Crisis have done the research as to why there was a jump in numbers. It’s worth a look, but I warn you, there is absolutely nothing they have found which suggests immigration is a problem so you won’t like it. Unless you want to suggest that an independent charity set up to protect women and girls would ignore that data, which would really thwart their efforts.

https://rapecrisis.org.uk/news/32-percent-jump-in-annual-number-of-reported-sexual-offences/

What the 32% jump in number of reported sexual offences really means

It's really important to properly unpack official data on rape and other sexual offences.

https://rapecrisis.org.uk/news/32-percent-jump-in-annual-number-of-reported-sexual-offences/

BasildonBonds · 22/08/2026 19:33

Marroon · 22/08/2026 19:29

Do you realise this is a fake statistic circulated on FB that you’re parroting on as facts?
Feel free to back it up with evidence.

Thank you for pointing that out. How awful that pp is spreading disinformation. Isn't that against MN rules?

EasternStandard · 22/08/2026 19:32

WorkHardPlay · 22/08/2026 17:03

I’m shocked at people on this thread, like, don’t any of you do any research before forming your views? Or do they just sound nice, soft and fluffy in your head.

Boat crossings account for 90% of illegal migration to the UK. The top 5 nationalities for these crossings are Eritrean, Afghan, Sudanese, Iranian, and Somali.

Now, do yourself a favour and go have a look at how women are treated from those countries. Then come back and try and explain how it’s just the same as the UK 🙄 ….

Yep

Marroon · 22/08/2026 19:29

EmeraldShamrock000 · 22/08/2026 19:21

Out of the 8 women killed in Ireland this year up to July 26, one was killed by an Irish man, so it worked out at 85% fir a foreign national.

The media fell over themselves to point out that these men were mostly known to these women, the young mother from Iran who had her throat slashed by her ex Husband, the refugee Volunteer who fell in love with an immigrant, Jamey Carney, found with her head caved in, BUT they knew him. Do you get it???

Do you realise this is a fake statistic circulated on FB that you’re parroting on as facts?
Feel free to back it up with evidence.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 22/08/2026 19:21

Out of the 8 women killed in Ireland this year up to July 26, one was killed by an Irish man, so it worked out at 85% fir a foreign national.

The media fell over themselves to point out that these men were mostly known to these women, the young mother from Iran who had her throat slashed by her ex Husband, the refugee Volunteer who fell in love with an immigrant, Jamey Carney, found with her head caved in, BUT they knew him. Do you get it???

EmeraldShamrock000 · 22/08/2026 19:17

BoredZelda · 22/08/2026 19:12

Crime statistics aren’t gathered from news articles. I’ll bet you would believe the stats if they worked in your favour though.

Of course you notice the ones which suit your agenda. Cognitive bias is a real thing. For example, I notice more of the ones where no ethnicity is given, the comments are flooded with “doctor or engineer” type responses, then someone quickly confirms plenty of other reports who have said the crime was confirmed to be carried out by a white British male. In my mind there are way more of them but I can’t be sure if that is actually the case, I’ve never counted. What I do know is that actual statistics gathered by organisations who have no skin in the game would support my anecdata rather than yours.

Yes, we all notice it too, the absolute glee from the left, it isn’t any different than the other side at all.
The absolute glee when the London railway stabber man although black had an English name.
The government wiped their brows of sweat, grateful it was not an immigrant, no blood on their hands, how sad is that? That’s where we’re at. Everyone saving their own arse, instead of dealing with violence and rape for years, they’re allowing 100,000’s more men in.

BoredZelda · 22/08/2026 19:12

EmeraldShamrock000 · 22/08/2026 12:09

Sadly those crime stats aren’t always reliable as I have noticed many news articles state a man from Dublin accused of rape only to read on to find he required an Arabic interpreter.
There is a two tier system for reporting.

Crime statistics aren’t gathered from news articles. I’ll bet you would believe the stats if they worked in your favour though.

Of course you notice the ones which suit your agenda. Cognitive bias is a real thing. For example, I notice more of the ones where no ethnicity is given, the comments are flooded with “doctor or engineer” type responses, then someone quickly confirms plenty of other reports who have said the crime was confirmed to be carried out by a white British male. In my mind there are way more of them but I can’t be sure if that is actually the case, I’ve never counted. What I do know is that actual statistics gathered by organisations who have no skin in the game would support my anecdata rather than yours.

rivalsbinge · 22/08/2026 19:06

Bogliasco · 21/08/2026 20:08

There's plenty of White British men raping women so perhaps this leaflet could be posted to all UK men to remind them not to rape because lord knows they need it.

That argument never fails to amuse me, we do indeed have a rape issue with our own men so why the actual f* does our government seem hell bent on importing more.

OP that would upset me as well, luckily my DH understands and has empathy for how women are being treated by this government.

BoredZelda · 22/08/2026 18:58

ginasevern · 22/08/2026 14:53

Same. I live in a multi cultural area and city as a whole. The families of former immigrants in my neighbourhood are not exactly jumping for joy about the influx of thousands of young, single men without a shred of documentation or background checks.

Or, do they actually have a problem that they are being targeted by people who are being led to believe all brown people are a problem?

EmeraldShamrock000 · 22/08/2026 18:57

BoredZelda · 22/08/2026 18:38

Of course boat crossings account for 90% of irregular entry. We’re a fucking island. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Prior to boats, they largely entered on HGVs on ferries. But that is much easier to control now with better technology for checking which is why only a small percentage enter that way.

You talk about how countries treat women but want to ignore the way our own culture treats women. Why would that be?

No one is saying that all white men don’t rape, attack or maim, however the majority have been raised in a society where it is condemned.
Mothers and Fathers advise their sons and daughters, teaching how to ask for consent or report if they’ve been violated, it doesn’t work on all but for the majority they understand the consequences.

There are no consequences in Afghanistan for rapists, or in a lot of Middle Eastern countries, similar to a lot of countries in Africa where education around consent doesn’t exist, in parts of India too, why would anyone think that welcoming this culture would be a good idea. There was little consequences for the grooming gangs in the UK. Everyone is aware of the cover up now but are still not seeing the pattern.

Two wrongs just create a disastrous society.

BoredZelda · 22/08/2026 18:57

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 22/08/2026 14:31

So why then are they saying we will be putting these illegal immigrants in middle class areas as well.We know the reason, they are running out of space in the areas they are already in.That doesn’t sound like the government are dealing with the situation just increasing the area they are spread around in as they know they are not even sufficiently dealing with the problem.

It isn’t about “running out of space” It’s because the other available accommodation (ex-hotels) have become a powder keg. The ex hotels they used tended to be in less well off areas because these were hotels which were not really profitable businesses so Boris’ buddies bought them up and offered them to him at a hugely inflated price. We have one locally that was always an absolute dump the guy who owned it made a fortune by partnering with Mears Group, way more than he would have if he had kept it running as a hotel. They had to close it down because of protests. The people living nearby had way more problems with women being harassed by protesters than they ever did by residents.

BoredZelda · 22/08/2026 18:40

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 22/08/2026 17:29

This just happened this morning in Stowmarket.
Do you think they should print some more leaflets “Don’t punch elderly women in the face”

IME, these Facebook posts are usually followed up by a police statement that completely debunks them.

BoredZelda · 22/08/2026 18:38

WorkHardPlay · 22/08/2026 17:03

I’m shocked at people on this thread, like, don’t any of you do any research before forming your views? Or do they just sound nice, soft and fluffy in your head.

Boat crossings account for 90% of illegal migration to the UK. The top 5 nationalities for these crossings are Eritrean, Afghan, Sudanese, Iranian, and Somali.

Now, do yourself a favour and go have a look at how women are treated from those countries. Then come back and try and explain how it’s just the same as the UK 🙄 ….

Of course boat crossings account for 90% of irregular entry. We’re a fucking island. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Prior to boats, they largely entered on HGVs on ferries. But that is much easier to control now with better technology for checking which is why only a small percentage enter that way.

You talk about how countries treat women but want to ignore the way our own culture treats women. Why would that be?

ForPlumReader · 22/08/2026 17:40

Peedoffdoesntcutit · 21/08/2026 20:07

Happily say I’m culturist- we have a safe culture for women and women are seen as equal. Women here are respected.

He wouldn’t think I’m racist as we are black and are legal immigrants who work hard and are high paying tax payers.

You maybe want to look into this a bit more if you are seriously saying that women are are seem as equals and are respected here!!!

WestwardHo1 · 22/08/2026 17:40

Ime men whine and sulk when they're asked to express an opinion about the hideous behaviour of their sex class.

MintChocCat · 22/08/2026 17:38

WorkHardPlay · 22/08/2026 17:03

I’m shocked at people on this thread, like, don’t any of you do any research before forming your views? Or do they just sound nice, soft and fluffy in your head.

Boat crossings account for 90% of illegal migration to the UK. The top 5 nationalities for these crossings are Eritrean, Afghan, Sudanese, Iranian, and Somali.

Now, do yourself a favour and go have a look at how women are treated from those countries. Then come back and try and explain how it’s just the same as the UK 🙄 ….

My comment was referring to those commenting “go to Afghanistan if you think women’s safety in the UK is bad.” That’s what I mean. The whataboutism.

MintChocCat · 22/08/2026 17:37

WorkHardPlay · 22/08/2026 17:03

I’m shocked at people on this thread, like, don’t any of you do any research before forming your views? Or do they just sound nice, soft and fluffy in your head.

Boat crossings account for 90% of illegal migration to the UK. The top 5 nationalities for these crossings are Eritrean, Afghan, Sudanese, Iranian, and Somali.

Now, do yourself a favour and go have a look at how women are treated from those countries. Then come back and try and explain how it’s just the same as the UK 🙄 ….

I don’t need you to explain it to me 🤣 I am already well versed on the situation.

Swipe left for the next trending thread