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AIBU?

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AIBU to be angry that my husband is unconcerned about women’s safety?

438 replies

Peedoffdoesntcutit · 21/08/2026 19:59

To be pissed off with my husband. I said how upset I am that the child abuse and rape leaflet from the government is judged as necessary and we are continuing to let these men into our country who pose a threat to women. He just shrugged - I said doesn’t it bother you these men are coming into our society. We have daughters , I am a woman. I absolutely do not feel safe anymore where we live and would not walk on my own anymore. He said no not really. Absolutely furious with him. Does he not have to care as he’s a big tall man? I’m so pissed off, I’ve walked off and he’s given me the ick.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
Nuthatch26 · 22/08/2026 23:15

LoremIpsumCici · 22/08/2026 22:01

I’ll gladly be labled incorrectly as a racist though to defend women. It fact I’ll happily be called that if that is what it takes to stop this.

Racism isn’t how you stop rape. 🤦🏾

Reform and most journalists lack the statistical skills to comprehend how small samples of a few thousand can’t be directly compared to large samples of tens of millions with any confidence. The headline of x times more likely than y to rape were generated by amateurs, who failed to use generally accepted statistical methods like controls or counterfactuals or expanding the time scale of the smaller sample. You can’t take any of it seriously.

It’s the same bodge job stitch up type of lazy maths that put Lucy Letby behind bars.

The OP has not been racist! Is that all you've got to throw at women pointing out the bleedin obvious?

There are stats from other European countries which I quoted upthread. But of course they don't suit your agenda. Neither does the irrefutable evidence of women being abused in many of the countries these men come from. Who do you think is abusing women in Eritrea/Afghanistan/Sudan? Enjoy keeping your head in the sand.

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 22/08/2026 22:46

PollyBell · 22/08/2026 22:36

So plenty of womwn deliberately ignore red flags of men they have relationships with and moving other men into their children's lives yet it is random men from overseas they are more scared of?

And for those who are not stupid enough to do that in the first place that won’t matter.They shouldn’t have to deal with any threat from others they didn’t ask for.

PollyBell · 22/08/2026 22:36

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 22/08/2026 22:25

Women concerned about men coming from countries that pose a threat to women = Racist …..Got ya.

So plenty of womwn deliberately ignore red flags of men they have relationships with and moving other men into their children's lives yet it is random men from overseas they are more scared of?

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 22/08/2026 22:25

LoremIpsumCici · 22/08/2026 21:36

we are continuing to let these men into our country who pose a threat to women.

I am sure he cares about women’s safety, you were just being a racist about it and so he shrugged.

Women concerned about men coming from countries that pose a threat to women = Racist …..Got ya.

Bruce Lee Racism GIF
LoremIpsumCici · 22/08/2026 22:01

I’ll gladly be labled incorrectly as a racist though to defend women. It fact I’ll happily be called that if that is what it takes to stop this.

Racism isn’t how you stop rape. 🤦🏾

Reform and most journalists lack the statistical skills to comprehend how small samples of a few thousand can’t be directly compared to large samples of tens of millions with any confidence. The headline of x times more likely than y to rape were generated by amateurs, who failed to use generally accepted statistical methods like controls or counterfactuals or expanding the time scale of the smaller sample. You can’t take any of it seriously.

It’s the same bodge job stitch up type of lazy maths that put Lucy Letby behind bars.

Minusone · 22/08/2026 21:56

Peedoffdoesntcutit · 22/08/2026 21:51

I mean at this point I think you’re just taking the piss and haven’t actually read the previous posts I’ve written 😂 I’ll resend you it though just incase for a laugh

I’m not “taking the piss” I’m saying statistically you are as at risk from a British man as a non British man and it’s human nature to fear the unknown but badly the “known” is just as big a risk here

Peedoffdoesntcutit · 22/08/2026 21:52

Minusone · 22/08/2026 21:48

We definitely do not have a safe culture for women and children and many many many violent and sexual assaults against women and chidren are very much carried out by white uk males

Edited

No of course not. But it’s what our culture and standard in this country strives to achieve and we have laws to protect women against anything that falls short of this. Be it abuse against women, inequality in pay in work, and as girls and women we can have an education and drive. We all know what the expectation of behaviour towards women and girls is , in this country , even though some men still do not follow this. I’m not denying men from here do not behave like animals. Never said I did.
But countries that actively promote the treatment that women are less than equal , can be raped, beaten, whipped, children married off , no education , can’t drive a car ; are not culturally aligned with the values and laws of the United Kingdom. So being scared that men from these cultures are coming into the country on a daily basis and that they needed a leaflet to explain it to them , could absolutely be perceived quite rightly by some
women as a threat. And they , and me, have every right to see that as a threat and to feel as we do. Their cultures actively oppress women and continue to do so. That’s worry for me as a woman who fights for women’s rights and equality.

OP posts:
Peedoffdoesntcutit · 22/08/2026 21:51

Minusone · 22/08/2026 21:48

We definitely do not have a safe culture for women and children and many many many violent and sexual assaults against women and chidren are very much carried out by white uk males

Edited

I mean at this point I think you’re just taking the piss and haven’t actually read the previous posts I’ve written 😂 I’ll resend you it though just incase for a laugh

OP posts:
Minusone · 22/08/2026 21:48

Peedoffdoesntcutit · 21/08/2026 20:07

Happily say I’m culturist- we have a safe culture for women and women are seen as equal. Women here are respected.

He wouldn’t think I’m racist as we are black and are legal immigrants who work hard and are high paying tax payers.

We definitely do not have a safe culture for women and children and many many many violent and sexual assaults against women and chidren are very much carried out by white uk males

Peedoffdoesntcutit · 22/08/2026 21:39

LoremIpsumCici · 22/08/2026 21:36

we are continuing to let these men into our country who pose a threat to women.

I am sure he cares about women’s safety, you were just being a racist about it and so he shrugged.

🤣

OP posts:
Peedoffdoesntcutit · 22/08/2026 21:39

Nuthatch26 · 22/08/2026 20:15

Why are so many posters coming out to bat for these men at the expense of women and girls? It beggars belief.

I’m really unsure- I’ve been at work today and have come back to read the thread. Summing it up - women on here are silencing others and shutting them down by saying British born men rape , so you can’t possibly be upset that we’re getting an influx of men from cultures that actively suppress women and allow for rape , abuse towards women (this is a fact and is not disputed) because there’s already men is our country doing this. Yes - so why add more. We have standards and laws. Some are even saying the UK allows for the same treatment of women as these countries that allow for rape, no education, public whipping, FMG, and honour killings. Good lord - how have they made that link- it’s insulting to the women who have gone before us to secure us equality and safety (yes I am aware not all men follow this).

The good news is this thread has some ( I would say the majority) really sensible women who can see the problem and are not afraid to speak up. The women arguing we can’t possibly be worried as we have our own home grown problems, call you racist in a bid to shut you down. Nothing about race - all to do with cultural norms and expeditions of behaviour. I’ll gladly be labled incorrectly as a racist though to defend women. It fact I’ll happily be called that if that is what it takes to stop this. That or I’ll hand a leaflet and hope it stops them 🤣

OP posts:
LoremIpsumCici · 22/08/2026 21:36

we are continuing to let these men into our country who pose a threat to women.

I am sure he cares about women’s safety, you were just being a racist about it and so he shrugged.

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 22/08/2026 21:31

BoredZelda · 22/08/2026 19:12

Crime statistics aren’t gathered from news articles. I’ll bet you would believe the stats if they worked in your favour though.

Of course you notice the ones which suit your agenda. Cognitive bias is a real thing. For example, I notice more of the ones where no ethnicity is given, the comments are flooded with “doctor or engineer” type responses, then someone quickly confirms plenty of other reports who have said the crime was confirmed to be carried out by a white British male. In my mind there are way more of them but I can’t be sure if that is actually the case, I’ve never counted. What I do know is that actual statistics gathered by organisations who have no skin in the game would support my anecdata rather than yours.

You really do have an agenda to shut down, minimise people’s concerns don’t you.
Its not up to you to tell others what they should be concerned about.

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 22/08/2026 21:29

BoredZelda · 22/08/2026 18:57

It isn’t about “running out of space” It’s because the other available accommodation (ex-hotels) have become a powder keg. The ex hotels they used tended to be in less well off areas because these were hotels which were not really profitable businesses so Boris’ buddies bought them up and offered them to him at a hugely inflated price. We have one locally that was always an absolute dump the guy who owned it made a fortune by partnering with Mears Group, way more than he would have if he had kept it running as a hotel. They had to close it down because of protests. The people living nearby had way more problems with women being harassed by protesters than they ever did by residents.

Sure, sure.

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 22/08/2026 21:28

BoredZelda · 22/08/2026 18:40

IME, these Facebook posts are usually followed up by a police statement that completely debunks them.

No it’s the son posting and he is understandably raging.
Are you calling the son a liar.

thisgirlwantsmore · 22/08/2026 21:23

WorkHardPlay · 21/08/2026 22:45

I’m genuinely stunned at how ill informed so many of the comments are here. Here are some facts, for everyone who is committed to virtue signals to feel good about themselves whilst being completely wrong. Please, please do yourselves a favour and educate yourselves!

  1. We DO have a safe culture for women in the UK, equal rights, and laws that protect us. That doesn’t mean that no British man abuses women, is misogynistic or commits rape, but they do so knowing it’s against the law. It’s completely different from other cultures where it’s legal to rape, where its legal to have sex with children, where women are legally viewed as less than men. Acting like the majority of British men are rapists, abusers and misogynists is just complete fabrication. In other cultures, it is the majority, it is their social norm!!!!!!
  2. The UK does not routinely track or document the immigration status of criminal offences. This means it is not possible to track the crime or conviction rates for asylum seekers. This is a danger in itself, as currently the UK has no way of tracking the impact of asylum seekers on crime rates.
  3. The UK does track ethnicity and nationality however, and that shows that Afghan nationals have a disproportionately higher per capita rate of sexual offences compared to the UK-born population. It’s so incredibly dumb to say more British men commit crime or sexual offences (you’re talking about absolute numbers, and they’re the majority of the population). If you look at the fact that Afghan men are a tiny percentage of the UK (but over 60% of those on small boats) alongside their crime rate per capita, you’ll realise that there is a real threat and risk. You people really need to understand the difference between total numbers and per capita!
Edited

Brilliant post

thisgirlwantsmore · 22/08/2026 21:11

hugasaurus · 21/08/2026 20:30

People are so worried about being branded racist that they are failing to grasp some of it I think. Look at the statistics Denmark keep about sexual offences perpetrated by non-Western men. They keep and publish them. Even with the limited statistics we keep in the UK, we know Afghan nationals for example are anywhere from 3-15 times more likely to commit sexual offences.

Some countries we accept male asylum seekers from have very deep-rooted and dangerous cultural attitudes towards women and girls, which includes sexual violence. It’s normalised to such an extent in some places that they will carry sexual attacks out in groups, because it’s a shared cultural attitude.

Of course Britain has plenty of rapists and sex offenders, but rape being a bad thing is part of the national conversation and culture in a way it isn’t in some other countries. Try get on public transport as a woman in some parts of India, it’s not just one man trying to grab you, it’s dozens.

Some of the young men coming to claim asylum are from cultures where rape, sexual assault, touching, kissing etc random women is accepted behaviour. It does a disservice to women of those countries to claim the UK is ‘just as bad’.

This 👆

Naunet · 22/08/2026 20:35

rivalsbinge · 22/08/2026 19:06

That argument never fails to amuse me, we do indeed have a rape issue with our own men so why the actual f* does our government seem hell bent on importing more.

OP that would upset me as well, luckily my DH understands and has empathy for how women are being treated by this government.

Well the thought process seems to be that as some British men rape, its only fair to let the rest of the world have a chance too, and if women object, they are of course racist.

WorkHardPlay · 22/08/2026 20:35

BoredZelda · 22/08/2026 19:35

It also doesn’t take many brain cells to realise correlation and causation are different things. For example, the reduction of violent crime in the US correlates with the reduction in cottage cheese consumption. You think they are linked?

The ONS when issuing the figures cautioned that the rise in reporting does not mean there is a rise in incidences. You know what else happened in March of 2021? The horrific rape and murder of Sarah Everard. Do you think it is likely that this high profile case, and the discourse that surrounded it might have led to more women being emboldened to come forward and report their sexual assaults. Women can take months or years to report as there is no statute of limitations. Do you think it’s possible that a number of those women reporting between April and June 2021 were bringing cases that had happened in previous years?

Rape Crisis have done the research as to why there was a jump in numbers. It’s worth a look, but I warn you, there is absolutely nothing they have found which suggests immigration is a problem so you won’t like it. Unless you want to suggest that an independent charity set up to protect women and girls would ignore that data, which would really thwart their efforts.

https://rapecrisis.org.uk/news/32-percent-jump-in-annual-number-of-reported-sexual-offences/

You can’t be this silly, surely? Have you actually read this yourself? 😂 The very webpage you’ve linked highlights that there are likely MORE offences that took place, not less.

  • “It’s really important to note that it is the number of sexual offences recorded by police that has increased by 32% for the year ending March 2022, not the number of sexual offences perpetrated overall. This distinction is important because we know that the vast majority of victims and survivors of sexual violence never report what happened to them to the police” - Do you understand what this means? They mean that the actual number of offences will be HIGHER!
  • “this may reflect ‘a number of factors, including the impact of high-profile incidents, media coverage, and campaigns on people’s willingness to report incidents to the police, as well as a potential increase in the number of victims’” Do I need to shout it louder for you to hear. The ONS and Rape Crisis highlight some increase in willingness, AS WELL AS POTENTIAL INCREASE IN VICTIMS.

Not quite fitting YOUR agenda at all is it?

EasternStandard · 22/08/2026 20:34

Nuthatch26 · 22/08/2026 20:15

Why are so many posters coming out to bat for these men at the expense of women and girls? It beggars belief.

It really does

EmeraldShamrock000 · 22/08/2026 20:30

Marroon · 22/08/2026 20:27

You’re misreading, 4 non national suspects, only 3 charged at the time of the article with one still a suspect not charged.

So 3 or 4 which as I said is not at all 85% whatever way you look at it.

7 women killed by men, 5 not Irish, 1 unidentified. 1 Irish.

The Iranian man will never be charged as he killed himself after he killed his estranged wife.

Marroon · 22/08/2026 20:27

EmeraldShamrock000 · 22/08/2026 20:21

  • one had no publicly identified suspect;

okay. That’s one, no
idenity.

  • one involved two juvenile female suspects whose identities are legally protected;

A mother and daughter from the travelling community, daughter identify protected, Scarlett was killed by women so not counted as foreign men or any man.

  • one involved a suspect reported as Irish;

which one? The Waterford elderly lady, yes he’s Irish.

  • one involved a man wanted by Gardaí but not charged in Ireland;

he’s from Lebanon and flew back to Turkey, he’s been charged in Lebanon.

  • four involved suspects publicly reported as non-Irish nationals.

That’s 5, 6 including the lady from limerick yesterday.

8 killed.
1 by women.
5 by foreign men.
1 unconfirmed identity.
1 confirmed Irish man.

Edited

You’re misreading, 4 non national suspects, only 3 charged at the time of the article with one still a suspect not charged.

So 3 or 4 which as I said is not at all 85% whatever way you look at it.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 22/08/2026 20:21
  • one had no publicly identified suspect;

okay. That’s one, no
idenity.

  • one involved two juvenile female suspects whose identities are legally protected;

A mother and daughter from the travelling community, daughter identify protected, Scarlett was killed by women so not counted as foreign men or any man.

  • one involved a suspect reported as Irish;

which one? The Waterford elderly lady, yes he’s Irish.

  • one involved a man wanted by Gardaí but not charged in Ireland;

he’s from Lebanon and flew back to Turkey, he’s been charged in Lebanon.

  • four involved suspects publicly reported as non-Irish nationals.

That’s 5, 6 including the lady from limerick yesterday.

8 killed.
1 by women.
5 by foreign men.
1 unconfirmed identity.
1 confirmed Irish man.

WorkHardPlay · 22/08/2026 20:21

BoredZelda · 22/08/2026 18:38

Of course boat crossings account for 90% of irregular entry. We’re a fucking island. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Prior to boats, they largely entered on HGVs on ferries. But that is much easier to control now with better technology for checking which is why only a small percentage enter that way.

You talk about how countries treat women but want to ignore the way our own culture treats women. Why would that be?

Isn’t it funny how you just pick and choose tiny bits from people’s posts, and twist them to fit your narrative. My post was in response to someone asking about nationalities, so I gave the stats of nationalities on boat crossings as they make up the largest majority (as you’ve agreed with 😂)

Can you provide me an exact quote where I’ve said that I want to ignore issues with UK born men? Didn’t think so! You can absolutely detest both UK born men who commit rape, and asylum seekers who commit rape.

I’d argue you’re the one inferring that it’s totally fine for asylum seekers to hate women and commit rape, because UK men do it too. Can you hear how wild that is?

Nuthatch26 · 22/08/2026 20:15

Why are so many posters coming out to bat for these men at the expense of women and girls? It beggars belief.

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