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Original poster

AIBU to be angry that my husband is unconcerned about women’s safety?

438 replies

Peedoffdoesntcutit · 21/08/2026 19:59

To be pissed off with my husband. I said how upset I am that the child abuse and rape leaflet from the government is judged as necessary and we are continuing to let these men into our country who pose a threat to women. He just shrugged - I said doesn’t it bother you these men are coming into our society. We have daughters , I am a woman. I absolutely do not feel safe anymore where we live and would not walk on my own anymore. He said no not really. Absolutely furious with him. Does he not have to care as he’s a big tall man? I’m so pissed off, I’ve walked off and he’s given me the ick.

OP posts:
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11
WorkHardPlay · 21/08/2026 23:15

Flamingojune · 21/08/2026 23:07

Do you have figures to back up that claim

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It’s basic per capita data, I mean, google it? But if that’s too hard, here’s just one for you.
Since you folks seem to struggle with facts, I’ll attach the evidence report as well as the figure “for Afghan nationals, there were 59.2 sexual offence charges per 10,000 across England and Wales, with the corresponding figure for UK nationals being 2.7 offences per 10,000 people”

But sure, it’s the British men we should be worried about 😂

https://committees.parliament.uk/writtenevidence/161679/html/

OakleyAnnie · 21/08/2026 23:14

NotThisAgain1987 · 21/08/2026 22:57

If our laws protect women so well how come conviction rates for rape are so low? Why did it take the establishment so long to force a pedophile out of the "royal family"? Why do we give criminally low sentences to men who abuse women but routinely give double the time to people people facing drugs charges?

As a country we are just as partriarchal and abusive as middle Eastern countries, we just discriminate and abuse via the back door.

It worries me than you are in a position where you may be treating refugees if all you're seeing is potential abusers

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This is a disgusting comment. How dare you imply the OP isn’t doing her job properly and might discriminate against refugees.

Nellodee · 21/08/2026 23:14

Immigrants who commit rape at a certain rate are bad. White British men who commit rapes at a slightly lower rate are okay. I wonder what percentage of men being rapists is the cut off point between being tolerable and being a pressing issue.

Original poster
Peedoffdoesntcutit · 21/08/2026 23:14

WorkHardPlay · 21/08/2026 23:09

Tell me you know nothing about other cultures, without telling me you know nothing about other cultures?

Are you seriously suggesting that the UK is just as patriarchal as countries where women can’t drive, can’t work, can’t have an education, can be legally raped etc.

You think you’re being the ‘good person’ here, but your comment is so disgusting and dismissive of women struggling under these cultures who would give anything to be here … which leads to another fact … 72% of asylum seekers are MEN, and a study which spoke to a number of women who came to Europe on small boats, found that they had been physically beaten and sexually assaulted on their journey.

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This is how I feel. These women on here are being offensive to those women under their openly oppressive governments and rules who allow violence, rape and child marriage. It’s hugely offensive to say the UK is just as bad against women as a country who would let a man rape her and then publicly whip them for adultery.

I have wondered whether they are men replying on this now as it’s become ridiculous.

OP posts:
buttercup786 · 21/08/2026 23:11

allgoodhere783 · 21/08/2026 20:15

Have you been to India? Do you know it's the rape capital of the world? Afghanistan? Go live in those places and find out.

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Certainly no rapes in Afghanistan, the penalty is very high. Most rapes take place by people you know so I think your comment is very wrong.

WorkHardPlay · 21/08/2026 23:09

NotThisAgain1987 · 21/08/2026 22:57

If our laws protect women so well how come conviction rates for rape are so low? Why did it take the establishment so long to force a pedophile out of the "royal family"? Why do we give criminally low sentences to men who abuse women but routinely give double the time to people people facing drugs charges?

As a country we are just as partriarchal and abusive as middle Eastern countries, we just discriminate and abuse via the back door.

It worries me than you are in a position where you may be treating refugees if all you're seeing is potential abusers

Show quote history

Tell me you know nothing about other cultures, without telling me you know nothing about other cultures?

Are you seriously suggesting that the UK is just as patriarchal as countries where women can’t drive, can’t work, can’t have an education, can be legally raped etc.

You think you’re being the ‘good person’ here, but your comment is so disgusting and dismissive of women struggling under these cultures who would give anything to be here … which leads to another fact … 72% of asylum seekers are MEN, and a study which spoke to a number of women who came to Europe on small boats, found that they had been physically beaten and sexually assaulted on their journey.

Flamingojune · 21/08/2026 23:07

lazyarse123 · 21/08/2026 23:05

That would be because the vast majority of people in this country are British. But a disproportionate number of foreign men commit these crimes.
Why should we be put at risk when it could be prevented? It's also fucking offensive to say we have home grown rapists as if that makes it ok.

Show quote history

Do you have figures to back up that claim

Original poster
Peedoffdoesntcutit · 21/08/2026 23:06

scoobysnaxx · 21/08/2026 22:59

Are you absolutely deluded? A safe culture for women and children??????

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No of course not. But it’s what our culture and standard in this country strives to achieve and we have laws to protect women against anything that falls short of this. Be it abuse against women, inequality in pay in work, and as girls and women we can have an education and drive. We all know what the expectation of behaviour towards women and girls is , in this country , even though some men still do not follow this. I’m not denying men from here do not behave like animals. Never said I did.
But countries that actively promote the treatment that women are less than equal , can be raped, beaten, whipped, children married off , no education , can’t drive a car ; are not culturally aligned with the values and laws of the United Kingdom. So being scared that men from these cultures are coming into the country on a daily basis and that they needed a leaflet to explain it to them , could absolutely be perceived quite rightly by some
women as a threat. And they , and me, have every right to see that as a threat and to feel as we do. Their cultures actively oppress women and continue to do so. That’s worry for me as a woman who fights for women’s rights and equality.

OP posts:
lazyarse123 · 21/08/2026 23:05

titchy · 21/08/2026 20:13

You really think the UK has a safe culture for women? You really think all sexual assaults and rapes are committed by overseas nationals? Wow - delulu.

The VAST majority of perpetrators are British.

(Which you really know but any exclude for an immigrant bashing thread eh?)

Show quote history

That would be because the vast majority of people in this country are British. But a disproportionate number of foreign men commit these crimes.
Why should we be put at risk when it could be prevented? It's also fucking offensive to say we have home grown rapists as if that makes it ok.

NotThisAgain1987 · 21/08/2026 23:00

WorkHardPlay · 21/08/2026 22:45

I’m genuinely stunned at how ill informed so many of the comments are here. Here are some facts, for everyone who is committed to virtue signals to feel good about themselves whilst being completely wrong. Please, please do yourselves a favour and educate yourselves!

  1. We DO have a safe culture for women in the UK, equal rights, and laws that protect us. That doesn’t mean that no British man abuses women, is misogynistic or commits rape, but they do so knowing it’s against the law. It’s completely different from other cultures where it’s legal to rape, where its legal to have sex with children, where women are legally viewed as less than men. Acting like the majority of British men are rapists, abusers and misogynists is just complete fabrication. In other cultures, it is the majority, it is their social norm!!!!!!
  2. The UK does not routinely track or document the immigration status of criminal offences. This means it is not possible to track the crime or conviction rates for asylum seekers. This is a danger in itself, as currently the UK has no way of tracking the impact of asylum seekers on crime rates.
  3. The UK does track ethnicity and nationality however, and that shows that Afghan nationals have a disproportionately higher per capita rate of sexual offences compared to the UK-born population. It’s so incredibly dumb to say more British men commit crime or sexual offences (you’re talking about absolute numbers, and they’re the majority of the population). If you look at the fact that Afghan men are a tiny percentage of the UK (but over 60% of those on small boats) alongside their crime rate per capita, you’ll realise that there is a real threat and risk. You people really need to understand the difference between total numbers and per capita!
Edited

It's legal to mary and have sex with children in many states in the USA. Again making it a mental problem not a single culture problem.

scoobysnaxx · 21/08/2026 22:59

Peedoffdoesntcutit · 21/08/2026 20:07

Happily say I’m culturist- we have a safe culture for women and women are seen as equal. Women here are respected.

He wouldn’t think I’m racist as we are black and are legal immigrants who work hard and are high paying tax payers.

Show quote history

Are you absolutely deluded? A safe culture for women and children??????

NotThisAgain1987 · 21/08/2026 22:57

Peedoffdoesntcutit · 21/08/2026 22:50

I work as a doctor in A and E . I’m very aware of the abuse women suffer from men on a daily basis. In the UK, our laws protect women and say we can’t be raped or abused or attacked but yes of course this still happens- but it is less so than countries who oppress women’s rights. I have never said it is perfect, it’s far from it but it’s safer than the abuse women feel in for example Afgaistan under taliban rule. Where they are discriminated against daily by their taliban ‘government’ and can’t get an education or drive etc .

So yes the United Kingdom is very clearly legally and culturally different from these other Middle Eastern countries. Even though some men choose to not follow our law or rules.

Show quote history

If our laws protect women so well how come conviction rates for rape are so low? Why did it take the establishment so long to force a pedophile out of the "royal family"? Why do we give criminally low sentences to men who abuse women but routinely give double the time to people people facing drugs charges?

As a country we are just as partriarchal and abusive as middle Eastern countries, we just discriminate and abuse via the back door.

It worries me than you are in a position where you may be treating refugees if all you're seeing is potential abusers

Original poster
Peedoffdoesntcutit · 21/08/2026 22:55

WorkHardPlay · 21/08/2026 22:45

I’m genuinely stunned at how ill informed so many of the comments are here. Here are some facts, for everyone who is committed to virtue signals to feel good about themselves whilst being completely wrong. Please, please do yourselves a favour and educate yourselves!

  1. We DO have a safe culture for women in the UK, equal rights, and laws that protect us. That doesn’t mean that no British man abuses women, is misogynistic or commits rape, but they do so knowing it’s against the law. It’s completely different from other cultures where it’s legal to rape, where its legal to have sex with children, where women are legally viewed as less than men. Acting like the majority of British men are rapists, abusers and misogynists is just complete fabrication. In other cultures, it is the majority, it is their social norm!!!!!!
  2. The UK does not routinely track or document the immigration status of criminal offences. This means it is not possible to track the crime or conviction rates for asylum seekers. This is a danger in itself, as currently the UK has no way of tracking the impact of asylum seekers on crime rates.
  3. The UK does track ethnicity and nationality however, and that shows that Afghan nationals have a disproportionately higher per capita rate of sexual offences compared to the UK-born population. It’s so incredibly dumb to say more British men commit crime or sexual offences (you’re talking about absolute numbers, and they’re the majority of the population). If you look at the fact that Afghan men are a tiny percentage of the UK (but over 60% of those on small boats) alongside their crime rate per capita, you’ll realise that there is a real threat and risk. You people really need to understand the difference between total numbers and per capita!
Edited

Well put and laid out. I’ve noticed from this thread we have a lot of virtue signalling; a lot of calling me racist to shut the conversation down; women silencing women’s safety concerns and minimising them; not allowing an opinion because we have this problem in our country as well so we can’t possibly be upset we’re welcoming men in from countries who actively oppress women.

It screams of hypocrisy by these posters- and it’s very main character syndrome. For example how dare you say it’s these men coming in , when a white British man did the same to me. Yes no ones saying they didn’t - but we can say it’s a threat and a concern that they are adding to the problem and the government is passive in it’s approach and hands out a leaflet. It’s offensive that the government in this country is treating us with such contempt.

OP posts:
Original poster
Peedoffdoesntcutit · 21/08/2026 22:50

NotThisAgain1987 · 21/08/2026 22:38

Clearly you live a very sheltered life if you believe that. Look up statistics of white men raping/murdering/abusing their partners and daughters, race is irrelevant. Men are the issue.

Show quote history

I work as a doctor in A and E . I’m very aware of the abuse women suffer from men on a daily basis. In the UK, our laws protect women and say we can’t be raped or abused or attacked but yes of course this still happens- but it is less so than countries who oppress women’s rights. I have never said it is perfect, it’s far from it but it’s safer than the abuse women feel in for example Afgaistan under taliban rule. Where they are discriminated against daily by their taliban ‘government’ and can’t get an education or drive etc .

So yes the United Kingdom is very clearly legally and culturally different from these other Middle Eastern countries. Even though some men choose to not follow our law or rules.

OP posts:
WorkHardPlay · 21/08/2026 22:45

I’m genuinely stunned at how ill informed so many of the comments are here. Here are some facts, for everyone who is committed to virtue signals to feel good about themselves whilst being completely wrong. Please, please do yourselves a favour and educate yourselves!

  1. We DO have a safe culture for women in the UK, equal rights, and laws that protect us. That doesn’t mean that no British man abuses women, is misogynistic or commits rape, but they do so knowing it’s against the law. It’s completely different from other cultures where it’s legal to rape, where its legal to have sex with children, where women are legally viewed as less than men. Acting like the majority of British men are rapists, abusers and misogynists is just complete fabrication. In other cultures, it is the majority, it is their social norm!!!!!!
  2. The UK does not routinely track or document the immigration status of criminal offences. This means it is not possible to track the crime or conviction rates for asylum seekers. This is a danger in itself, as currently the UK has no way of tracking the impact of asylum seekers on crime rates.
  3. The UK does track ethnicity and nationality however, and that shows that Afghan nationals have a disproportionately higher per capita rate of sexual offences compared to the UK-born population. It’s so incredibly dumb to say more British men commit crime or sexual offences (you’re talking about absolute numbers, and they’re the majority of the population). If you look at the fact that Afghan men are a tiny percentage of the UK (but over 60% of those on small boats) alongside their crime rate per capita, you’ll realise that there is a real threat and risk. You people really need to understand the difference between total numbers and per capita!
NotThisAgain1987 · 21/08/2026 22:38

Peedoffdoesntcutit · 21/08/2026 20:07

Happily say I’m culturist- we have a safe culture for women and women are seen as equal. Women here are respected.

He wouldn’t think I’m racist as we are black and are legal immigrants who work hard and are high paying tax payers.

Show quote history

Clearly you live a very sheltered life if you believe that. Look up statistics of white men raping/murdering/abusing their partners and daughters, race is irrelevant. Men are the issue.

Original poster
Peedoffdoesntcutit · 21/08/2026 22:36

Evvyjb · 21/08/2026 22:20

Oh good lord. This is making me so cross.

There is no "safe culture for women" in the UK. In my life the people who would have benefited from a leaflet were the white British men.

Crack on. Work yourself into a froth. Heaven forfend you look behind you.

So you’re saying- no woman can feel scared by the threat of men coming from cultures that are oppressive to women, in to our society because we must only speak about the men that are already living here? We must silence the concern and only speak about British (white - unsure why you mentioned colour?) men- or you will be so
cross?

OP posts:
nrp2 · 21/08/2026 22:36

Peedoffdoesntcutit · 21/08/2026 20:07

Happily say I’m culturist- we have a safe culture for women and women are seen as equal. Women here are respected.

He wouldn’t think I’m racist as we are black and are legal immigrants who work hard and are high paying tax payers.

Show quote history

Your deluded if you think white British men are safe for woman

Vivi0 · 21/08/2026 22:33

RemindMeIn15Minutes · 21/08/2026 22:31

I’m afraid you’re horribly unaware of what’s happening if you think we have a safe culture for women.

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Not safe, but safer.

I’ll take that any day over the alternatives.

RemindMeIn15Minutes · 21/08/2026 22:31

Peedoffdoesntcutit · 21/08/2026 20:07

Happily say I’m culturist- we have a safe culture for women and women are seen as equal. Women here are respected.

He wouldn’t think I’m racist as we are black and are legal immigrants who work hard and are high paying tax payers.

Show quote history

I’m afraid you’re horribly unaware of what’s happening if you think we have a safe culture for women.

Original poster
Peedoffdoesntcutit · 21/08/2026 22:30

Vivi0 · 21/08/2026 22:24

The vast majority of VAWG in the UK is purpetrated by british men.

And that would be because the majority of men in this country are…British men.

Just because British men rape and abuse women and children, doesn’t mean it’s a fucking free for all for men from elsewhere to come to Britain to rape and abuse women and children too.

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Exactly this. But there are women on here saying “how dare you be enraged by these illegal migrants coming in with their culture that is oppressive to women, when we have home grown problems.” Em yes we know that and we are enraged about that as well - but this thread and post isn’t about that but please feel free to make one about it yourself and chat about that freely. You can be enraged by both British men and those coming in to the country huddling their leaflet and not want either.

OP posts:
Vivi0 · 21/08/2026 22:27

BoredZelda · 21/08/2026 20:03

Are these leaflets going in to schools?

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Why would they?

We already educate children about consent at school.

These leaflets are designed for grown ass adult men, who are well beyond that stage in life.

Vivi0 · 21/08/2026 22:24

TimeFlysWhenYoureHavingRum · 21/08/2026 22:17

No we do not have a safe culture for women in the UK - NEVER HAVE (although its arguably got slightly better in the last 20 years) but in large part women are not seen as equal or respected.
Tha vast majority of VAWG in the UK is purpetrated by british men.

The vast majority of VAWG in the UK is purpetrated by british men.

And that would be because the majority of men in this country are…British men.

Just because British men rape and abuse women and children, doesn’t mean it’s a fucking free for all for men from elsewhere to come to Britain to rape and abuse women and children too.

ilikemethewayiam · 21/08/2026 22:20

yanbu @Peedoffdoesntcutit . I dated a guy once and we got into a similar discussion, not about illegal or legal immigrants, but about rape and women’s safety and his attitude was exactly the same. He shrugged and said why are you telling me? What’s it got to do with me?. I just couldn’t look at him after that and ended it. Yuk! It’s called empathy.

Evvyjb · 21/08/2026 22:20

Oh good lord. This is making me so cross.

There is no "safe culture for women" in the UK. In my life the people who would have benefited from a leaflet were the white British men.

Crack on. Work yourself into a froth. Heaven forfend you look behind you.