AIBU to be angry that my husband is unconcerned about women’s safety?

Well lucky you I guess. But I was going to nightclubs at that point and I don't recall a single night out where someone didn't grope or grab at me.

I even got groped by an old white English man when I was at a sleepy village pub in my jeans and hoody.

And I would never have walked home at night unless there were boys with us . And we lived in the kind of nice town that mumsnetters fall over themselves to live in.

And I can recall multiple stories of rapes and attacks at the very attractive university city I studied in. Where I was raped by a nice middle class white English boy who is now a partner in a law firm. And groped by a public school girl at a freshers ball

You must have been blissfully ignorant of the risks around you

(And if you read my posts you will see I am deeply concerned about the level of criminality making its way into our country at the moment. I just think there needs to be some nuance in the conversation)

Nobody thinks that, but stranger rape is not seen as OK in the UK if the women meet certain criteria (not on their own, v young or 60years + etc and be seen as blameless).

OK. We've got our own bad apples. Lets bring in more.

It feels like at this point of time we are where we are - these men are already in this country (regardless of views on that) -so if they do pose a risk due to cultural practices in their home countries against women and girls then someone needs to try to do something to stop potential rapes and abuse.

Are these leaflets ideal - no - but even if they help just a few men understand the UK position on this then they’ll have done their job.

And I really dislike this ‘good old days’ mentality. Don’t forget the UK only criminalised rape in marriage in 1991 and as a teenager in that decade I can remember some really grim experiences of drunk (white local) men leering and groping me at 5pm as they left our local racecourse as I walked home from town - aged 13! Or someone literally forcing their tongue down your throat in the local clubs!

We teach our teens about consent in school now and when young people start university there is a lot of emphasis put on this subject!

So thankfully we don’t live the same horrors as women and girls do in places like Afghanistan and India BUT we are on a journey too. Ask our mothers and grandmothers to truly remember the ‘good old days’ and we’ve come a long way (still plenty to go) but maybe we can bring some of the men coming into this country on a similar journey.

Forever the optimist!

You should feel as safe as you always have , why was you not concerned about all the home grown pedos . Which tend to be more from this country.

You still think it's all a joke. How strange.

Hahahaha. Pull the other one, it has bells on.

I think the difference is uk men on the whole 'know' its a crime but do it anyway due patriarchy and convincing themselves the woman 'wanted it' etc. People from other countries might not have the same laws and might feel it isn't illegal at all if shes on her own at night etc

This.

Nice to see you think combating rape is a game. Anything and everything to protect men over women.

House! Bingo card is now full.

Women are sick to death of being raped, so have gone past the point of caring about being called racist.

Perhaps he shrugged because he's tired of hearing your racist claptrap @Peedoffdoesntcutit . I'm sick to fucking death of these threads myself.

How long ago are you talking? I went to no end of night clubs in the 90s and it was fine. The occasional punch up outside and the old bill would make some arrests but I can recall me and two friends walking 20 mins home with our shoes in our hand and not one car or person bothered us.

Indeed.

It just looks like another sneaky way to have another thread about immigration while making up a clueless husband...

There is a VAWG epidemic, and the government have done next to nothing to tackle it. Producing a leaflet is actually insulting. These people will either ignore it, don’t care, or can’t even read it in the first place. Let’s continue analysing stats for the next few months to see if there’s a reduction in sexual crime eh?

Yes, white British men still commit sexual assault and rape, but that’s a separate matter in itself that still needs to be addressed.

Bringing in more men from cultures that don’t respect women and girls is wrong, and it’s putting females at risk in this country.

There is no question that we are seeing a significant increase in street rapes of young girls in particular, but also older women and men. This is why the government have panicked and issued leaflets. Of course most rape and VAW is from people you know. The change/increase is in stranger danger. And that has a chilling effect on our freedom, the freedom of our daughters.

In the BBC podcast series about people smugglers, many of the asylum seekers were upfront that they were coming to the UK because they had criminal records and could destroy their documents. They talked openly about rape as a right.

This situation should concern us all.

Self justified racism is still racism.

saying immigrants are the problem is wrong. Criminals are the problem and figuring out who is a criminal before they commit a crime is impossible and unethical, just as it is for the native population. So negative sentiment against ‘immigrants’ is wrong. It’s wrong. And you can try justify it but it’s wrong and racist.

I’m becoming more and more convinced that posts like this are being bombarded by the “refugees welcome here” crew.
Think about it, when they are not on their marches, waiving their fucking little banners, it stands to reason they will be told to congregate on forums telling anyone concerned for their or their daughters safety, that “white man bad”, “you’re being racist” and other such bollocks.

Hi @Peedoffdoesntcutit

Having Read Invisable women by Caroline Carado Perez. I instigated a conversaton wih a group of male friends. dad's.brother's .husbands and partners and I was truley shocked how little of a shit they gave about any aspect of womens saftey or issues so your husbands response if of no suprise.

The only way we will ever be bothered is when it efects us directley it seems. Male rape is on the rise. It is either improved reporting or its genuinley going up which is intresting in the context of the leaflet which I have not read yet.

When your husband feels unsafe on his way home only then will he truley get it which is so sad and I think you have every right to feel the way you do about him.

It doesn’t suit their narrative….but but but the white men.

This sums it up

I can't see where in the op it says they are from another country?

They do spend lot of the op insisting they know what this country used to be like which rather implied they grew up here

I am not denying there are genuine reasons to be concerned about immigration. I just don't think we can go round pretending it's ever been safe for women to go out alone at night. That's just a gross falsehood.

My thoughts exactly.

And pubs, gyms, football stadiums etc.

I really don't get people who think SA carried out by immigrants is 'worse'.