AIBU to feel worn down by DH's constant moaning?

The fact he was downright cruel by claiming your five-year-old could supposedly brush his own teeth is ringing huge alarm bells for me. Nevermind all the rest. I experienced this and it is horrendous for children to be put through. They do not need to be in an environment like this. Children do pick up on this. I am sure the general atmosphere in the household is not particularly pleasant, either. Please think of your child/ren. They do not need this in their lives - particularly at such an early stage. You don't either. Why do you feel as though you should be treated like this? Essentially like a slave? Why should you feel as though you have to justify yourself? To know that you will constantly be criticised no matter what. Long-term that will do nothing but mess with your head. Think about a child's head. You would be much better off without him. And so what if the washing pile grows a bit? Think about all you are left to do. It is the holidays. Of course it will be bigger. He is fully capable of helping but he chooses not to. Apologies for the rather long post. I am just utterly sick and tired of males such as this behaving in this manner.

What does he actually contribute to the house? Doesn't seem like much from your posts.

If not, I’m not quite sure what the point of him is?

TBH my response to the crumbs would be I’ll
let you take over the kids lunchtime when you get home from work then!!

Is there a reason that he is unable to load the dishwasher, pick up crumbs or wash his own socks? What is he for, OP? Because it seems like he's moaning about everything you do while doing nothing at all himself.

We have tried to avoid holiday cubs where possible just due to the cost mainly so no hasn't been easy

We, as in both?

Because based on this....

The plan was from whe he gets home at 2pm ish to then watch the children so I could work undistracted. 99% of the time he has come home and napped, told the kids to be quiet or play in their rooms and then they have come and found me anyway

I'm sorry i'd be telling him he pays his half for kids clubs.

Yes, it may tighten the purse strings but it's not a cost you'll pay every week once school starts like some have, but your sanity of being able to get on with your paid working without being disturbed will thank you.

He's awful.

Whiny shit needs his arse handing to him and to step up and do his share.

You're not his skivvy.

You read him the riot act. You tell him that if he disrespects what you do one more time he can leave. You tell him that if he's so unhappy with standards then you suggest he shows you all what standards he would like kept to by doing the fucking work himself.

And that he changes his attitude towards his wife and children and stops treating you like staff. I'd probably do this very very loudly when the kids were outside.

Unless it turns out that he pulls down an eye-watering salary for his lightweight work day, I’m going to say OP is the unreasonable one for putting up with this obvious twat.

If you were divorced, it sounds like you would do the same amount of work or less and you wouldn’t have to listen to anywhere near as much moaning. Doesn’t that sound nice?

You are not over thinking this...he's awful.

He works 6.30 to 1.30? Five hours a day? How many days a week does he work that make him oh so tired that he needs a nap and couldn’t possibly be expected to parent his own children or do any housework?

He works 6.30 until 13.30, even if a person worked 9 till 16.00, same hours surely they help their DP out once home.
What makes him think his day ends there?

Do you plan any holiday clubs while you work, it can't be easy entertaining DC while trying to work.

We get it, he's a cock.

What are you going to change about your life?

He says he does all the work as he has to go back and re do what i do

Might as well just have him do it in the first place then, eh?

Am I right in thinking you work more hours than him? Does he earn more and that's why he's thinking he's in charge?

I can't see any positives to him as a husband. This sounds so draining. Do you ever tell him how awful he sounds nagging and moaning all of the time?

Perhaps you’re happy with the set up, perhaps you believe you deserve to be treated this way. But don’t for one moment think this is a pleasant environment for children.

I worked outside of the home but did plenty in it. If I’d have said any of the things your husband said to you, I’d have my derrière handed to me. Except I wouldn’t because I respect him, and TBH was grateful.

Come on, be frank with us- he's got a golden cock hasn't he?

Good grief, he’s the crumb police and a complete arsehole.

Do you earn more than him OP? He sounds resentful.

Off topic but your poor 5 year old, moping around the house with no stimulating childcare while you work from home. Awful.

You surely don’t have to continue living like this?

He expects you to be the household skivvy and thinks he's in charge.

However you do it, you need to make it really clear that this is not acceptable.

You are not powerless here, but you need to start with the very basic assumptions that this totally unfair setup is built on and knock them down.

You both work. He should be doing half the chores.

It really is that simple.

Tbh, I'd be full on confrontational about this. A strong offence is the best defence and all.

All of the things you have mentioned are extremely petty and it would have gone past the point of an adult conversation.

You might bot see it OP, but this is veering I to emotional abuse. He'll have you being a nervous wreck about crumbs or noise or whatever. Stand up for yourself or seek help before you become a shell of yourself.