AIBU to be angry about comments on my granddaughters' names?

I don’t think this is a class issue.

It’s a Stripper Names issue.

I suppose though the obvious retort to that is wealth isn't a class signifier either.

I'm not meaning to give the specific names a hard time by making that observation.

I mean actual dancers. Proper showgirls. I don’t see anything wrong with that they’re not strippers.

Yup It’s a class signifier.

Your daughter didn’t choose from the prescribed list of acceptable names for people like us, implication being ooh maybe you aren’t really a member of the club after all . Maybe you are an outsider. Real playground , Queen Bee stuff

Correct response to this is : A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Now Go Fuck Yourself ,Vicky.

This is how you are choosing to see it. My brain doesn’t hear showgirl as insulting. So you have to take it from me that there are multiple points of view.

that said, it’s dodgy territory making comments about names as it could easily be taken the wrong way. But I honestly don’t think it was necessarily meant to be rude.

Ah sorry, I would have certainly commented on Saintly named. Would I have enraged grandma. Possibly as she seems to be very sensitive.

Not universal, not for everyone. Sure for some people it might be, but there are lots of positive associations with “showgirl” for plenty of people, not the same as “stripper/hooker”.

And, tbh, if the child’s parents thought that “showgirl” was a negative association, they probably wouldn’t have called their children Lola (..”she was a showgirl”) and Roxy (lead showgirl character in Chicago).

My last lakeland terrier was called Lola!

“That’s a hooker/stripper name” is a common criticism of girls names. “Showgirl” is an obvious passive aggressive way of saying this.

“stripper name” “dog name” “old man/lady name” all common criticisms

I genuinely don’t see why “showgirl in this context is obviously mean to be insulting”. Genuinely, why obviously? I did ask if she’d said it in a critical or disparaging way, and if so then yes I would agree she’d meant it rudely and should have said nothing. But i don’t at all see why it’s “obvious” that it’s meant to be insulting “in this context”?

Showgirl in this context is obviously meant to be insulting and a slightly politer way of saying “hooker name”.

But Ruby and Lola are honestly such ordinary names even when I was at school I had a few in my class. Roxy is slightly more out there but not massively so.
Theyre also individuals so take no notice of this “as a set” nonsense.

Nevermind her op she is merely showing her age! When i was naming my dc i was met with incredulation by elderly relatives that id strayed from “normal popular names” like Margaret and Robert. Apparently they’d be bullied if i didn’t give them a 1950s name!!

I don’t consider the description “showgirl names” to be a criticism or a negative. And unless your friend’s friend said it in a clearly critical / disparaging way, likely she doesn’t either. It’s NOT automatically a negative association to plenty of people.

Plenty of people would associate the names with fun, dramatic, pretty, confident - “showgirl” traits.
Not the negative “showgirls are loose women” type of thing it feels like you’re thinking of?

It’s just a style of name, and your granddaughters names are firmly in the middle of that category.

They’re lovely names, and they’re showgirl names. It’s on you if you think it’s rude to say so or a criticism of the names in some way.

Well, she isn’t wrong… Lola has certain connotations hence the songs. Probably rude to make the comment all the same, I wouldn’t dare comment on a person’s name unless I thought it was particularly lovely.

Taylor Swift brought out ‘Life of a Showgirl’ last year, which suggests some sort of renaissance of the concept.

I'm in my 50s and I like a bit of Barry! I was laughing because I had a Barry Manilow CD on a couple of weeks ago, and my husband, who's in his 60s, and has been a metalhead all his adult life, was wearing a Black Sabbath t-shirt and singing along to 'Mandy' 😆

Presumably Lola and Roxy or something similar. I wouldn't choose a name like that myself though they are quite cut. But, YANBU - it was rude and snooty

What is your friend’s name who made the comment?
You should’ve said, I love their names and I’ve never thought of them like that but now you mention it with a name like -insert name here- you wouldn’t get much interest as a show girl.

And maybe that was a misquote from the friend. Many people are fans of Barry. Not me but one of my uni friends was. We might be a similar age to OP.

'I would have taken it to mean that they're quite glam, confident names'

And yet most would see saying 'showgirl names' sounds sneery and unpleasant.

It's basic social skills, some people have them but sadly some do not. The only way to comment on a name is to say how nice. Not showgirls, not a bit 'goddy' like your comparison. Just 'how nice'.

Honestly if you call your kids Lola, Roxy and Ruby then these things are going to happen. They're great names but ones that definitely do have 'showgirl' connotations - not that anybody's really talked of 'showgirls' for the last 60 years. I wouldn't have thought anything of it and wouldn't have assumed there was anything negative about the comment - in fact I would have taken it to mean that they're quite glam, confident names, but you've clearly made your mind up to treat it as a grievous insult OP so you crack on.

If I called my kids Ezekiel, Methusaleh and Bathsheba I can't moan if it gets pointed out that they are a bit...goddy.

I completely agree with you. It doesn’t matter what their names are, it’s no one else’s business and the woman was likely being rude. I feel sorry for OP,
some very judgemental people on here. Talking about ‘strippers’ like it’s the chuffing 80’s 😂

I guess it comes down to this:

it is in the eye of the beholder. If you choose to see it as rude, then you’ll think it’s rude. If you choose to think that most people come from a good place, then you won’t see it as rude and you see the good in it.

I am not easily offended at all. Life is too short. I just let things slide. Unless they would cause on going repetitive cycles, then I would sort it.

i honestly thought showgirl was kind of complimentary!

Some people don’t have a filter and say they first thing that pops into their head, some people lose their filter as they get older… who knows, but don’t take it personally - it says more about them than you.