Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be angry about comments on my granddaughters' names?

508 replies

Ellenay · 21/08/2026 17:59

So, I have 5 grandchildren, this weekend I’m looking after all of them, my daughter and her husband are away to a wedding in France and my son and his wife have booked a little spa weekend.

I popped in to see some of my friends with them as I don’t often have the children and my friends like seeing them.

One of my friends had some other friends I’ve not met before over but we joined them. After introducing the children and then being sent to the kitchen to get a lollipop, one of these friends said oh don’t all the girls have little showgirl names, I must have looked a bit shocked as someone else then jumped in and said oh she doesn’t mean p*rnstar just very moulin rouge.

I just said I thought their names were lovely and moved on but now I’m back home I’m furious, I’m furious I didn’t give her a piece of my mind.

AIBU to think this is an absurd thing to say about children’s names?!

OP posts:
willowstar · 21/08/2026 18:56

@Fairyliz with yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there....

Gowlett · 21/08/2026 18:54

I love the name Roxy! It’s my girl name!

curtaintwitcher78 · 21/08/2026 18:51

Ellenay · 21/08/2026 18:49

I messaged before hand, she told me to pop in while I was out, it wasn’t unannounced!

Mama Rose didn't just march her troupe in there unannounced!

Ellenay · 21/08/2026 18:49

Shinyandnew1 · 21/08/2026 18:48

They are absolutely showgirl names-from musicals and songs. That’s absolutely fine and really not offensive to mention.

As an aside, I can’t imagine pitching up at a friend’s house with 5 children when they already had friends over.

I messaged before hand, she told me to pop in while I was out, it wasn’t unannounced!

OP posts:
Ellenay · 21/08/2026 18:48

WeddingDressguest · 21/08/2026 18:47

Roxy is naff but not showgirl. I cant imagine a grown adult woman, having to tell people her name is Roxy. This seems quite ridiculous. Unless short for Roxanne.

The other two are fine, though, totally normal names. Calm down if you like the names why do you care.

I mean was there any need at all to say it’s naff?

Like really?

OP posts:
Shinyandnew1 · 21/08/2026 18:48

Ellenay · 21/08/2026 18:14

No, not Kitty. I fear this thread is just going to turn into a guessing game of their names instead of actually discussing the woman’s manners so I will share their names.
Lola, Roxy and Ruby.

They are absolutely showgirl names-from musicals and songs. That’s absolutely fine and really not offensive to mention.

As an aside, I can’t imagine pitching up at a friend’s house with 5 children when they already had friends over.

WeddingDressguest · 21/08/2026 18:47

Ellenay · 21/08/2026 18:14

No, not Kitty. I fear this thread is just going to turn into a guessing game of their names instead of actually discussing the woman’s manners so I will share their names.
Lola, Roxy and Ruby.

Roxy is naff but not showgirl. I cant imagine a grown adult woman, having to tell people her name is Roxy. This seems quite ridiculous. Unless short for Roxanne.

The other two are fine, though, totally normal names. Calm down if you like the names why do you care.

Besidemyselfwithworry · 21/08/2026 18:46

ExtraOnions · 21/08/2026 18:03

What are they called ? Star? Dita? Fifi ? Roxy? Kitty?

Are they theatrical names ?

Don’t understand why you are furious ? I’m sure they weren’t intimating they were named after porn actors.

They sound like cat or guinepig names!

Fairyliz · 21/08/2026 18:46

PinkyFlamingo · 21/08/2026 18:25

I'm hearing Barry Manilow "her name was Lola, she was a showgirl".

I think we all are. I’ve got to look up what the next line is or I will be driven mad by that one line repeating in my mind .

Uricon2 · 21/08/2026 18:46

I would never say anything about a childs name unless I absolutely loved it, but sorry, Lola and Roxy are showgirl names. Ruby possibly a bit less so.

There is nothing wrong with them as names but they are hardly Susan and Jane and are going to attract comment from some, especially in combination. I don't however think it was a horrible comment, depends on tone.

BunkBedsArePeopleShelves · 21/08/2026 18:44

Ellenay · 21/08/2026 18:14

No, not Kitty. I fear this thread is just going to turn into a guessing game of their names instead of actually discussing the woman’s manners so I will share their names.
Lola, Roxy and Ruby.

They are the most showgirl of showgirl names. I mean, "her name was Lola, she was a showgirl"! Roxy from Chicago...

The real question is why you're so horribly prejudiced against showgirls?

curtaintwitcher78 · 21/08/2026 18:44

Rizzz · 21/08/2026 18:18

Snap! Lol

Great minds 😂

Mulledjuice · 21/08/2026 18:43

It sounds as though she didnt mean it positively - at best gauche, at worst sneering.

Is it worth being upset over? No - is it a wider pattern of behaviour?

Knickerbockermisery · 21/08/2026 18:43

I happen to like all those names, but I can see why they’d be referred to as “show girl” names. However I’d take it like cabaret, nothing unpleasant. I think you’re over reacting

Twoshoesnewshoes · 21/08/2026 18:42

Yeah it’s rude - regardless of what she thinks of their names, if she can’t say something nice then keep quiet.

JustAnotherWhinger · 21/08/2026 18:42

It’s a downright rude comment to make to someone you’ve just met. Your mutual friend was likely quite embarrassed by that.

Even if you think it you don’t say it out loud to their grandmother.

Tarryawhile · 21/08/2026 18:42

Lovely names, I like them and she was being bitchy.

Hardware252525252525 · 21/08/2026 18:41

ExOptimist · 21/08/2026 18:40

She won't have meant that.

She meant they sound like rather tacky names, Lola, Roxy etc. She should have kept her thoughts to herself, but no point getting annoyed, people can have opinions on names. Besides, presumably you didn't choose the names anyway.

I disagree, it could easily have been a compliment.

hyggetyggedotorg · 21/08/2026 18:40

Isn’t “Lola, she was a showgirl” literally a line from Copacabana? Maybe the song jumped into her head.

I wouldn’t be offended by it TBH. They are nice names in any case.

ExOptimist · 21/08/2026 18:40

takealettermsjones · 21/08/2026 18:08

Is it possible that she meant it as a compliment - as in very glamorous, film star sort of names?

She won't have meant that.

She meant they sound like rather tacky names, Lola, Roxy etc. She should have kept her thoughts to herself, but no point getting annoyed, people can have opinions on names. Besides, presumably you didn't choose the names anyway.

highlandcoos · 21/08/2026 18:39

Lomonald · 21/08/2026 18:19

Strippers/burlesque dancers/ low class a bit common girls& women is what it means.

Not to me. It means talented and exotic. It's not an insult.

WitchayWoman · 21/08/2026 18:39

It would've been a rude thing to say about a grown woman's name, let alone a bunch of little girls. She should've controlled that intrusive thought.

RobertaFirmino · 21/08/2026 18:39

When meeting a Lola, surely it is better to think of Barry Manilow than The Kinks.

Gloriia · 21/08/2026 18:38

Totally agree op. The only response when told a name is to say 'lovely'. To sneer about 'showgirls' is not ok.

croisette · 21/08/2026 18:38

OvernightBloats · 21/08/2026 18:12

I don't think calling a name 'a showgirl name' is an insult. You shouldn't be so upset by the comment. The name must be well known from a play or something.

It’s a well known older song (as also pointed out above). “Her name was Lola; she was a showgirl”

I must admit I could see why the remark was made when I saw the three names together.

Although it was probably a little rude to say it unless she knows you’d find it funny.