Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be angry about comments on my granddaughters' names?

508 replies

Ellenay · 21/08/2026 17:59

So, I have 5 grandchildren, this weekend I’m looking after all of them, my daughter and her husband are away to a wedding in France and my son and his wife have booked a little spa weekend.

I popped in to see some of my friends with them as I don’t often have the children and my friends like seeing them.

One of my friends had some other friends I’ve not met before over but we joined them. After introducing the children and then being sent to the kitchen to get a lollipop, one of these friends said oh don’t all the girls have little showgirl names, I must have looked a bit shocked as someone else then jumped in and said oh she doesn’t mean p*rnstar just very moulin rouge.

I just said I thought their names were lovely and moved on but now I’m back home I’m furious, I’m furious I didn’t give her a piece of my mind.

AIBU to think this is an absurd thing to say about children’s names?!

OP posts:
MyEasterBonnet · 21/08/2026 20:53

Ellenay · 21/08/2026 18:14

No, not Kitty. I fear this thread is just going to turn into a guessing game of their names instead of actually discussing the woman’s manners so I will share their names.
Lola, Roxy and Ruby.

Show quote history

Ohh I forgot about Lola, I should have guessed that too. Of course people are instantly going to think showgirl there.

Calliopespa · 21/08/2026 20:52

Dishwashersforever · 21/08/2026 20:42

Maybe she was thinking of musical comedy.. phantom of the opera, west side story the lion king etc. That’s what came to my mind and I always think they must be living their dream.. singing and dancing on stage etc

Show quote history

I think, given one of the names is Lola and not Christine or Annie or Maria, that probably wasn't the sort of show she was thinking of, and for that reason I think it was a bit loose-lipped.

Lola is heavily associated with both the Barry Manilow song "with a dress cut down to here" and also Nabokov's Lolita ("she was Lola in slacks").

BUT, it is a popular name nonetheless, as is Ruby (though I know fewer Roxys) and I think if the girls were called something like Eliza, Lola and Amelia, it probably wouldn't even have stirred the connection.

Metalmotha · 21/08/2026 20:52

Ellenay · 21/08/2026 18:04

One of these names is correct.
Im not sure it really matters what they are called though?

I don’t think it’s a nice comment to make about little girls.

Show quote history

Unfortunately they’ll get this through their lives..like it or not certain names evoke certain images

Blondeshavemorefun · 21/08/2026 20:50

Ellenay · 21/08/2026 18:14

No, not Kitty. I fear this thread is just going to turn into a guessing game of their names instead of actually discussing the woman’s manners so I will share their names.
Lola, Roxy and Ruby.

Show quote history

I know a dog called Roxy

we have a Lola at school

friend called their daughter ruby 15yrs ago

not the worst ‘show’ names

MyEasterBonnet · 21/08/2026 20:48

ExtraOnions · 21/08/2026 18:03

What are they called ? Star? Dita? Fifi ? Roxy? Kitty?

Are they theatrical names ?

Don’t understand why you are furious ? I’m sure they weren’t intimating they were named after porn actors.

Kitty was the first one I thought of with showgirl too for some reason. Also makes me think of Ruby too. Nothing wrong with either name though! I don’t think showgirl is an offensive thing. If she’d said pornstar names then yes, but showgirl isn’t offensive.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/08/2026 20:48

Ellenay · 21/08/2026 19:58

But you have just said something?
I didn’t ask if you liked the names or not, so why did you share, when you self claim you wouldn’t say anything? What is to be gained by you saying well I don’t like them but I don’t tell people I don’t like them, when you have just done so? It didn’t add to your point at all?

Show quote history

But her point was supporting you. No matter what you think of a name, don’t say it to the parents / grandparents face. She agrees with you.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/08/2026 20:44

Id be pretty pissed if 5 small children arrived unexpectedly to crash into my Friday afternoon, no matter what their names were.

Maybe that’s just me?

mushypeas94 · 21/08/2026 20:44

Definitely not meant as a compliment. And they are “showgirl” names. But how downright rude to comment. I’m sure they are lovely little girls and she could have said a million nice things on meeting them.

Itsa10fromLen · 21/08/2026 20:44

Message her and let her know you think she’s a cunt. It’ll feel good.

ThePieceHall · 21/08/2026 20:43

AngelinaFibres · 21/08/2026 20:32

Wow

Show quote history

Rude.

Dishwashersforever · 21/08/2026 20:42

Calliopespa · 21/08/2026 20:30

It's the whiff of adult sexuality.

Show quote history

Maybe she was thinking of musical comedy.. phantom of the opera, west side story the lion king etc. That’s what came to my mind and I always think they must be living their dream.. singing and dancing on stage etc

Dinosweetpea · 21/08/2026 20:40

There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of those names, I know children with all of them. Your friend's comment was unecessary and unkind.

maxslice · 21/08/2026 20:40

Lomonald · 21/08/2026 18:04

My god! What is wrong with you or are you in agreement that names make the children.

Show quote history

There are names given to children that I find odd or inappropriate. “Brandi”, for instance. Kind of embarrassing if she becomes a QC. BUT, I wouldn’t say anything. It’s not my business. Two things I know for sure. You don’t talk rubbish about people’s children and you don’t poke your nose in people’s finances.

FlowerFail · 21/08/2026 20:39

Pedant61 · 21/08/2026 18:10

I think you nsed to find a sense of humour, OP. It's just a throwaway remark, it's not about your grandchildren as people. Just laugh it off and say "yeah, you should have heard the God-awful names that were rejected!".

Edited

Why on earth would she have to say something like this ? The other woman was clearly rude

In her defence sometimes we say things, and instantly regret it, for causing unnecessary offence. I hope this was the case, if not, she’s just plain rude.

MonetsLilac · 21/08/2026 20:36

Rizzz · 21/08/2026 20:30

Why do you keep trying to control others OP?

The PP doesn't like those names and she's entitled to say so whether you asked or not 🤷‍♂️

You can't change this about life, all you can change is how you deal with it.

Show quote history

Thank you! Plus, good advice for the OP...

ExOptimist · 21/08/2026 20:33

Grapewrath · 21/08/2026 19:52

I think of the songs
‘Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl’
and Roxanne by the police. I bet that’s what your friend meant, without any malice.
Thry are lovely names, but I get the showgirl link- I don’t see that as a bad thing

Roxanne is a song about a prostitute so I doubt it was a compliment.

What I'm surprised at is the OP herself not realising all those names are showgirl type names when each granddaughter was born.

When my children were discussing potential names for their children and asking opinions about them I would definitely have said something if one of those names had been a contender. Of course I'd have realised it was their choice, not that they would have chosen those names anyway.

PurpleFlower1983 · 21/08/2026 20:32

They are definitely showgirl names but they are lovely names too.

Shelby2010 · 21/08/2026 20:32

There’s nothing to suggest that the comment was meant to be derogatory. Individually the names are not unusual, but as a group they do have a vibe. And like it or not, the vibe is musical showgirl.

It was just a flippant comment, but it’s obviously touched a nerve. Had you honestly not noticed?

AngelinaFibres · 21/08/2026 20:32

Ellenay · 21/08/2026 18:14

No, not Kitty. I fear this thread is just going to turn into a guessing game of their names instead of actually discussing the woman’s manners so I will share their names.
Lola, Roxy and Ruby.

Show quote history

Wow

Calliopespa · 21/08/2026 20:30

Dishwashersforever · 21/08/2026 20:29

Is there something wrong with show girls? Why is a nasty thing to say? Showgirls make me think of beautiful energetic women having fun?

Show quote history

It's the whiff of adult sexuality.

Rizzz · 21/08/2026 20:30

Ellenay · 21/08/2026 19:58

But you have just said something?
I didn’t ask if you liked the names or not, so why did you share, when you self claim you wouldn’t say anything? What is to be gained by you saying well I don’t like them but I don’t tell people I don’t like them, when you have just done so? It didn’t add to your point at all?

Show quote history

Why do you keep trying to control others OP?

The PP doesn't like those names and she's entitled to say so whether you asked or not 🤷‍♂️

You can't change this about life, all you can change is how you deal with it.

Dishwashersforever · 21/08/2026 20:29

Error404FucksNotFound · 21/08/2026 19:48

Yanbu.
It was rude to say it.
People need to know when to keep their thoughts to themselves.

Is there something wrong with show girls? Why is a nasty thing to say? Showgirls make me think of beautiful energetic women having fun?

MonetsLilac · 21/08/2026 20:29

Svelty · 21/08/2026 20:25

I must be getting very old fashioned in my old age because I think it’s fucking rude to comment on people’s names like this whether adults or children.

I agree. That was my point, but unfortunately the OP didn't understand.
Just keep your thoughts to yourself..

Dragonflyspeeding · 21/08/2026 20:26

kombuchabucha · 21/08/2026 20:17

Well obviously we don't know your friend's friend whatsoever and as you don't either you don't know what's normal/out of character for her, but she might be a massive musical theatre/burlesque fan and think choosing "showgirl" names is absolutely fabulous and she thought she was paying you a complement.

We recently had a third child, our first two children's names start with the same letter and EVERYONE asked us if our third child's name would start with that letter as well. I think people pick up on themes/patterns in how children are named, and that could be just what your friend's friend did here. She might have thought this was an intentional theme and was making conversation about it.

Another example I've heard a lot is people who call all their children a floral/botanical name, like Fern, Willow and Iris. If your granddaughters had had those names people would likely say "oo don't then all have little floral names". Would you have been offended by that?

Edited

This!

She just picked up on the theme.
It’s your friend. She wasn’t aiming to be offensive.

Svelty · 21/08/2026 20:25

I must be getting very old fashioned in my old age because I think it’s fucking rude to comment on people’s names like this whether adults or children.