Page 11 | AIBU to be angry about comments on my granddaughters' names?

Grammarnut · 21/08/2026 22:24

Iocanepowder · 21/08/2026 22:16

No one said these kids don’t have value.

The dog called a Ruby is a fact. Silly to choose to be offended.

Too much sensitivity on here. One of op’s granddaughter’s names is a song about a showgirl. Lighten up and have a laugh.

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I know a dog called Rolf. Should we not call boys Rolf? This is really silly and one should not compare dogs to children.

Grammarnut · 21/08/2026 22:21

Lomonald · 21/08/2026 18:04

My god! What is wrong with you or are you in agreement that names make the children.

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Names don't make the children but they do often pre-programme people's reaction to them. Some names shout at you, honestly. I am a retired teacher and I am not lying when I say some names mark a child as disruptive and that child is disruptive. I am not in favour of using diminutives as given names, either. If you like the diminutive then use it but give the child the actual name e.g. call her Bella but name her Isabel/Isabella so she has a grown up name when she is grown up.

staceyflack · 21/08/2026 22:21

Oh my god, OP i can totally see where you're coming from. The woman that said it is being thoughtless at best, stuck up & insensitive, or worst case scenario, a judgemental old cow. Same response is required for all... ignore! Most on here are being bitches too, which does seem to be a bit of a theme of late. I thought mumsnet was about support 🤔

ThePieceHall · 21/08/2026 22:20

Iocanepowder · 21/08/2026 22:16

No one said these kids don’t have value.

The dog called a Ruby is a fact. Silly to choose to be offended.

Too much sensitivity on here. One of op’s granddaughter’s names is a song about a showgirl. Lighten up and have a laugh.

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I am super-light. It’s taken me years to get here. I still think the comment was offensive. So do very many others. Also, it is rude to compare dogs and children.

Iocanepowder · 21/08/2026 22:16

ThePieceHall · 21/08/2026 22:08

This thread is making me fed up. So much middle-class snobbishness about names. It’s particularly offensive when posters pipe up with ‘I know a dog by that name’. So rude. As far as I’m concerned, the other person in OP’s original post was being snobby and offensive. I’m an adoptive parent twice over so I did not get to choose my children’s names. I get so many patronising and offensive comments about my children’s names. Every day. I am so glad that major companies are now doing blind recruiting for jobs. My children may not be called Elspeth but they have value in this world.

No one said these kids don’t have value.

The dog called a Ruby is a fact. Silly to choose to be offended.

Too much sensitivity on here. One of op’s granddaughter’s names is a song about a showgirl. Lighten up and have a laugh.

AllStarBySmashMouth · 21/08/2026 22:14

Ellenay · 21/08/2026 18:14

No, not Kitty. I fear this thread is just going to turn into a guessing game of their names instead of actually discussing the woman’s manners so I will share their names.
Lola, Roxy and Ruby.

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Okay so, “her name was Lola, she was a showgirl” and Roxie Hart is the main character in Chicago. That’s what your friend meant. And I can’t see how that is malicious in any way.

laurini · 21/08/2026 22:11

YANBU. It's mean and unnecessary.

Calliopespa · 21/08/2026 22:08

maxslice · 21/08/2026 21:58

Lolita’s given name was Charlotte, which obviously doesn’t cary the same associations.

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I thought it was Dolores?

ThePieceHall · 21/08/2026 22:08

This thread is making me fed up. So much middle-class snobbishness about names. It’s particularly offensive when posters pipe up with ‘I know a dog by that name’. So rude. As far as I’m concerned, the other person in OP’s original post was being snobby and offensive. I’m an adoptive parent twice over so I did not get to choose my children’s names. I get so many patronising and offensive comments about my children’s names. Every day. I am so glad that major companies are now doing blind recruiting for jobs. My children may not be called Elspeth but they have value in this world.

SUPerSaver721 · 21/08/2026 22:08

Ellenay · 21/08/2026 17:59

So, I have 5 grandchildren, this weekend I’m looking after all of them, my daughter and her husband are away to a wedding in France and my son and his wife have booked a little spa weekend.

I popped in to see some of my friends with them as I don’t often have the children and my friends like seeing them.

One of my friends had some other friends I’ve not met before over but we joined them. After introducing the children and then being sent to the kitchen to get a lollipop, one of these friends said oh don’t all the girls have little showgirl names, I must have looked a bit shocked as someone else then jumped in and said oh she doesn’t mean p*rnstar just very moulin rouge.

I just said I thought their names were lovely and moved on but now I’m back home I’m furious, I’m furious I didn’t give her a piece of my mind.

AIBU to think this is an absurd thing to say about children’s names?!

Is Roxy and Ruby twins?

HollyhocksandPeons · 21/08/2026 22:06

VioletSeagull · 21/08/2026 21:21

"'That was my Lo,' she said, 'and these are my lilies.'"

Though she was Lola in slacks.

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Memory does not always serve well.

grasshopperhop · 21/08/2026 22:01

Rizzz · 21/08/2026 18:15

So they were right then.

Showgirl names 🤷‍♂️

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Yep. Sorry OP.

maxslice · 21/08/2026 21:58

Calliopespa · 21/08/2026 20:52

I think, given one of the names is Lola and not Christine or Annie or Maria, that probably wasn't the sort of show she was thinking of, and for that reason I think it was a bit loose-lipped.

Lola is heavily associated with both the Barry Manilow song "with a dress cut down to here" and also Nabokov's Lolita ("she was Lola in slacks").

BUT, it is a popular name nonetheless, as is Ruby (though I know fewer Roxys) and I think if the girls were called something like Eliza, Lola and Amelia, it probably wouldn't even have stirred the connection.

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Lolita’s given name was Charlotte, which obviously doesn’t cary the same associations.

vintedandminted · 21/08/2026 21:58

I think your getting a hard time OP. Your friends, friend was looking down her nose at your DGs names. I'm sure she is of a certain age where being a "showgirl" was not considered a respectable profession and therefore was being rude.

Chunkychips23 · 21/08/2026 21:57

You’re just being a fierce and protective Grandmother. No offence was probably meant though. It’s just something you’d think but not say.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/08/2026 21:54

pearlsclutchedhard · 21/08/2026 21:45

I’m sure she pre warned them but yes probably just you

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She warned her friends. Not their guests. It’s been 20 years since I had small kids. Let alone 5 of them. That’s a lot. I can guarantee I’m not the only one, just the only one saying it.

Lilacblu · 21/08/2026 21:54

I don't understand why you are upset, I don't see it's such a terrible thing to say,.

GoldenNuggets08 · 21/08/2026 21:53

I think YANBU. I think its rude to pass comment on a person's name, especially when they are in your company. There was no need! I dont think she meant to cause offence but she was definitely tactless.

Iocanepowder · 21/08/2026 21:52

RockinCara · 21/08/2026 21:50

The Op has already said she prewarned them.

I think I’d have told the woman that she was showing her age saying they were showgirl names, and said that they were popular names nowadays. Could have been worse, she could have said they were dog’s names!

Ah my friend does have a lovely dog called Ruby.

watchingthishtread · 21/08/2026 21:51

I agree she was tactless. She obviously touched a nerve with you. Are you worried that other people might be thinking what this woman has said out loud?

RockinCara · 21/08/2026 21:50

The Op has already said she prewarned them.

I think I’d have told the woman that she was showing her age saying they were showgirl names, and said that they were popular names nowadays. Could have been worse, she could have said they were dog’s names!

pearlsclutchedhard · 21/08/2026 21:45

BitOutOfPractice · 21/08/2026 20:44

Id be pretty pissed if 5 small children arrived unexpectedly to crash into my Friday afternoon, no matter what their names were.

Maybe that’s just me?

I’m sure she pre warned them but yes probably just you

Iocanepowder · 21/08/2026 21:44

I am thinking of this scene in Friends

pearlsclutchedhard · 21/08/2026 21:42

I think they’re nice names!

nomorekitchenislandsplease · 21/08/2026 21:41

OP, you sound very sensitive about this. Some people take against certain names for all kinds of obscure reasons, it doesn't need to matter.
FWIW, my friend has just had a new granddaughter Roxy and is delighted. I think it's becoming fashionable again.
As for the 'showgirl' comment, she'd be thinking of 'Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl'. It's about a young dancer who stayed faithful to her true love.