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AIBU to be devastated at my ex claiming CB to block me receiving it. I'm on UC he earns 120k+

135 replies

Heartbrokenanddevastated · 21/08/2026 17:51

My ex earns six figures. I was absolutely blindsided by the break up. As a SAHM I was financially dependent, having invested all my money into our shared home. I am now on benefits, absolutely financially cut off. After months of him withholding our DC. We now have court ordered 50 50. My ex when we were together told me not to bother claiming child benefit as due to his high income it would have to be repaid.

I tried to claim CB, and discovered he is claiming it, despite having to repay it all through the high income charge. So no benefit for our child. He wont transfer it to me, despite my needing it, and him not even receiving the money. HMRC say they wont change the decision. I believe he would rather see me in poverty. My solicitor was appalled someone could be like this. Can I challenge the decision? Anyone else been in this awful situation? It feels like a continuation of deliberate financial control.

OP posts:
Maray1967 · 21/08/2026 18:02

AffableApple · 21/08/2026 18:00

This. My husband pays it back too as he is just over the threshold. I want my state pension.

I think there is an option to get the NI credits without receiving the money - but I do t think that was the case when it was originally means tested. But yes, it is crucial to ensure you’re getting the NI credits for your state pension. And I get the money as well.

AffableApple · 21/08/2026 18:00

Maray1967 · 21/08/2026 17:58

And this is why every mother should claim it, as I do. I couldn’t care less that DH has to fill in a tex return every year. That’s his problem. This benefit was designed to ensure mothers could provide for their children.

This is what can happen if a man persuades his partner not to claim it. Ignore him and get the money. He can pay the tax back.

This. My husband pays it back too as he is just over the threshold. I want my state pension.

WhosGotTheKeysToMyBimma · 21/08/2026 17:59

You'll have lost out on state pension credit too not claiming CB (even if your ex earned too much).

PP have good advice about transferring the claim. Good luck.

BeOpalQuail · 21/08/2026 17:59

I would suggest contacting Citizens Advice or a similar agency to check if you challenge the HMRC decision and contact your MP.

Maray1967 · 21/08/2026 17:58

And this is why every mother should claim it, as I do. I couldn’t care less that DH has to fill in a tex return every year. That’s his problem. This benefit was designed to ensure mothers could provide for their children.

This is what can happen if a man persuades his partner not to claim it. Ignore him and get the money. He can pay the tax back.

Pinkfluffypencilcase · 21/08/2026 17:57

I had to show proof of buying things for my child eg receipts and show doctor. and dentist letters. Then it was transferred to me.

Trivialpursuits · 21/08/2026 17:57

That has implications for making decisions about your child. Can you afford a solicitor? If not, there might be free advice from women’s aid.

Maray1967 · 21/08/2026 17:55

This should be raised with the minister for women. Family allowance was brought in to benefit the MOTHER not some bastard pathetic excuse for a father.

Eleanor Rathbone will be turning in her grave. This is a complete disgrace.

Lavendersong · 21/08/2026 17:54

Contact your MP or local councillor they can look into these sorts of things

Peekachewy · 21/08/2026 17:53

What a bastard

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