AIBU to be devastated at my ex claiming CB to block me receiving it. I'm on UC he earns 120k+

You can definitely apply for ‘Rival claim’. You’ll win if like past posters you can prove you take/arrange to dentist, docs, arrange all activities, school correspondence, buy uniforms (make sure you do), buy clothes and pay for child’s phone bill, Spotify etc.

OP how old is child?
OP how do you feel about focusing on re training/college?

Thank you for posting this!

I don't if any of my experience. May help, but here goes. My ex had engineered a situation where he had the girls with him. He slowly allowed me to build up to every other weekend and one night a week. I was reliant on benefits and financial help from my parents. I made myself totally available for school runs, orthodontist and dental appointments etc. I slowly made sure I became the primary parent for correspondence, but keeping him only just in the loop. I registered them at my GP as we lived 25 minutes away from him. GP's do not notify the outgoing parent in this situation. Once I had built up to just over 50% of the nighs, I submitted a rival claim for Child Benefit and tax credits. He kicked off big time and still made me wait the full length of time before they were transferred to me. I knew I could prove my involvement and contact time and that he would lose. It took just under two years in all. I know your situation is different , butsome of my experience may help. You. Good luck and stay strong.

Put a claim in for CSM. It might not come off but I've seen other posts on here when the financial arrangements are stacked like your and the wealthy parent has to pay even with 50:50.

Are you working at all to get your NI contribution?

I presume you've had your money from the joint home now.

@Heartbrokenanddevastated please make sure you read the link that @JenRummy has posted, this shows that HMRC have been legally challenged on this very same matter, so you are extremely likely to win getting the CB into your name when you challenge their decision.

OP I'm well versed in child benefit issues as been through my own problems over this, trying to overturn a situation where my daughter was basically kidnapped from me then they claimed the child benefit to stop an ongoing child maintenance case, which they successfully did which the court did not to overturn.

So the reason he is claiming CB is to prevent you making a child maintenance claim. So he has become the resident parent as he holds the CB and only a resident parent can claim child maintenance.

Is your time with your children split completely equally? There has been some case law where the financial situation of each parent has been taken into account in 50/50 situations. If not and you are doing more overnights with your children, even a little say one extra night a fortnight then you should submit a rival CB claim. Citizens Advice or a local free family law centre could also help you.

Feel free to PM me if you want.

I know this is no good to you now OP but for anyone else reading, this can happen to anyone. Never, ever give up your financial independence for any man, married or not. If you want to be a SAHM make sure he gives you part of his income and pays into a pension for you. Never put yourself in a position where a man can leave you destitute.

OP contact your MP and a solicitor if you can.

Also, he should be paying you half the market rent to use your half of the house, a solicitor will advise on that too.

Have you reapplied now you have 50/50? Did you have to leave the family home, but he kept the children? Usually one parent claims for a child each. It's like he suddenly hates you.

Sorry he is being such a bastard. Are you working? If not, you need to take steps to get back into work ASAP. Long term, that the best solution here.

OP which address do school, GP, dentist etc?

Interesting case in Northern Ireland:
https://www.lawcentreni.org/news/law-centre-ni-successfully-challenges-hmrc-allocation-of-child-benefit/

Contact CPAG, they’re excellent and experts on benefits:
https://cpag.org.uk/contact-us

If you are a joint owner of the house then you can make him buy you out. You need a solicitor (a good one) and also to appeal the decision that CB cannot come to you - you have the lower income and may well be eligible. You will probably have to provide proof of what you are spending on DC.
This is why I insisted on marriage, it has a whole shedload of protections that don't exist if you do not make a legal contract - which is what marriage is - when you set up home (you can go through all the legal hoops to get the same arrangements, more or less, as being married, but getting married is a lot cheaper).

Apologies if this has already been asked op but are you getting the Universal credit child element on your UC claim? If so then that surely means that UC are recognizing you as the main parent so I don't understand why child benefit can't also.

OP I’m so sorry this is happening. You have been well and truly screwed over with little legal recourse. All those years as SAHM and absolutely nothing to show for it.

The CB can be challenged. Go see Citizens Advice about that.

I’d be tempted through sheer will to retrain and get on in spite of him. He wants you destitute. Don’t give him that satisfaction.

they share the child 50:50 so maybe no Cm to pay ?

Of all the utter cunts I’ve ever read about on mumsnet, this one, right here, takes the fucking prize.

Many women do not realise that there is a link between claiming CB as a mother staying at home and their future pension. Always claim it. It was intended to help mothers, which is why originally it could only be paid to the mother (unless circumstances meant the mother was not caring for the DC - in which case other arrangements could be made, but those were exceptions).

Your problem here is that he’s just as entitled to claim as you are, your financial situations have no bearing.

That said - try your MP. It sounds like you’re in an awful situation - but a tip here, try to remove the emotion from it and focus on the facts in terms of the benefit to your child if you get it vs your ex claiming. You could also make the wider point that this is an easy way for an abusive ex to weaponise the system - if there is no route of appeal where such disputes can be arbitrated that’s a problem. CB exists to support children, not to be used in the way your ex is using it, and the rules shouldn’t support his aims either inadvertently or by design.

You have made some naive decisions along the way, which I’m sure you’re aware of, but I hope at least someone can learn from your situation.

Utter bastard.

No advice or wisdom to share OP but I really hope someone can help you.

What is it with these men, who seem to delight hurting their children.

You were foolish to have not been claiming it all along. Dh and I very happily married. He earns over the threshold. I’ve always claimed it (and received my NI credits) and kept the money. Dh pays it back. He earns probably 2-3x what I do and though we share money equitably, this is the little extra that’s for me, even though it costs him in taxes.

Do you have a solicitor? You need to get one even if you need to borrow money. You need to force a house sale

This is utterly scandalous. The whole situation. You need legal help urgently for this whole situation. His level of financial abuse is frightening. Is there a registered body that his profession is registered with? Because (after seeking legal advice), I'd be reporting him to it.

This man has completely fucked up your state pension, and has you living in poverty, despite you owning a home that he has moved his fucking wife into? Fuck me, he's done a complete number on you.

Do not take this lying down, get onto your MP, Women's Aid, and a shark of a solicitor as a matter of urgency.

50/50 contact but who is the resident parent?

what is the home address for school/GP etc because that’s what they look at for seeing who should get the CB

Op, do you have the lives with order or is it a joint lives with??

As others have said you need to challenge the child benefit. They do have an investigations branch. In pure 50/50 there is a discretionary policy (rarely used but does exist) to determine which parent should get it and financial need is a consideration of that policy. Its a shame it wasnt included in your court order.