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How to overcome using childcare as coercive control.

108 replies

Emotionstorn · 21/08/2026 15:39

Single mum to SEN child 7yo
dad piece of shit refusing to watch child so I can do anything

school holidays
I’m drowning
my mum asked me to the theatre tonight. he’s kicked off spat his dummy out and gone home leaving child here. Can’t go.
genuinely had enough. When does this get better when will I have a life and friends again

OP posts:
onlyeathere · 21/08/2026 16:25

They aren’t free though or available at short notice

Flamingojune · 21/08/2026 16:19

RoniaCheetah · 21/08/2026 16:17

With an ex? Are you reading the same OP as me?

Sorry missed the single mum bit. But baby sitters can still be used

RoniaCheetah · 21/08/2026 16:17

Flamingojune · 21/08/2026 16:03

Joint account?

With an ex? Are you reading the same OP as me?

Whatalunatic · 21/08/2026 16:08

The only way to manage is building your life very quietly around the days he has the children. Never tell him anything at all or there will always be a reason as to why he can't have the children when you are doing something for you. Accept you won't have the freedom you deserve but build, build, build otherwise. It can be done - I managed it.

Flamingojune · 21/08/2026 16:03

StandFirm · 21/08/2026 15:56

but then the question is how does OP make him pay for those?

Joint account?

StandFirm · 21/08/2026 15:56

Flamingojune · 21/08/2026 15:54

Can u cut him out by paying for babysitters

but then the question is how does OP make him pay for those?

Flamingojune · 21/08/2026 15:54

Can u cut him out by paying for babysitters

Ablondiebutagoody · 21/08/2026 15:53

Have a set schedule and stick to it. Don't tell him what you are doing. Don't be home if he comes around with dc during his scheduled time.