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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think joining the Freemasons could maybe be beneficial for some young men?

131 replies

Jane379 · 21/08/2026 13:58

I've been thinking recently about the decline in mental health and friendships among young men on average and it occurred to me that third spaces have decreased, especially in some areas, but one that does remain, and has a long and apparently successful history, is the Freemasons.
I don't know much about them but I read an article in a history magazine recently which argued they're often seen in terms of secret networks etc but are generally beneficial and promote male friendship, mentoring, charity work and decrease polarisation through taking politics and religion off the table. If this is true, it sounds positive and potentially beneficial.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Jane379 · 31/08/2026 18:35

I also mentioned this issue to a friend who recommended this book. Not started yet but it looks good : a balanced look at Freemasonry from a non Mason historian, not conspiratorial but shows the influence they had on things from the British Empire to the Mormons and the Mafia.

The Enlightenment ideals they were founded on sound positive but I agree with pps that the current organisation sounds like it has major issues.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Craft-Freemasons-Made-Modern-World/dp/1473658195

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Jane379 · 31/08/2026 18:36

Whyhaveibeencutoutofmamsnot · 23/08/2026 08:23

Hopefully just informed of vacancies - aren't we trying to get rid of the jobs for the boys, old school tie, masonic route of employment

Yes, exactly. I mean, if you have to usually have a certain amount of money to join, it' not exactly an open club, and the networking being restricted to sons of Masons and already well-off/influential people doesn't sound ideal. And of course in the UK & US branches women can't become full Masons either.

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Mischance · 31/08/2026 18:38

My FIL was the Worshipful Master (heaven help us) for his lodge - we used to call him the worshipful shitbag.

The patronising attitude to women was unbelievable.

After he died I cleared his flat and masonic stuff was creepy as hell. Into the bin it all went.

If you want men's/boys' clubs find ones where they respect women.

Jane379 · 31/08/2026 18:40

JustAnotherWhinger · 22/08/2026 10:02

What an organisation says and what they do can be very different things though.

My father was a mason from the age of 25.

I was removed from my parents because of violence and neglect in the home. My brother still to this day has a scar from my father holding the iron on him as a punishment. He was in prison at least 4 times that I’m aware of, all for violent crimes. I believe his last prison stint was in his late 50s.

He died a highly regarded member of his lodge and there was lot of masons at his funeral talking about how wonderful he was.

That's terrible, I'm really sorry. 💐 It's definitely very bad if Freemasonry can get men influence & support in the community which they may not deserve at all...The organisation is supposed to hold members to standards but how often do they instead cover up for members?

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Jane379 · 31/08/2026 18:42

Mischance · 31/08/2026 18:38

My FIL was the Worshipful Master (heaven help us) for his lodge - we used to call him the worshipful shitbag.

The patronising attitude to women was unbelievable.

After he died I cleared his flat and masonic stuff was creepy as hell. Into the bin it all went.

If you want men's/boys' clubs find ones where they respect women.

Sounds grim.

'The patronising attitude to women was unbelievable.' - do you mean his? Or did you also meet other lodge members? Ot definitely sounds like the all male membership rule unsurprisingly seems to nurture bad attitudes at least some of the time. I wonder if the European version is better where they have a mix of single sex and mixed lodges?

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Mischance · 31/08/2026 18:45

It was ingrained in the organization. I finished up at a Ladies' Night (shortly after OH and I met and before I had the measure of FIL) and I have never felt so patronised in my life. Future invitations were refused.

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