AIBU to keep reporting my sister over concerns for her children?

@Pipiscoming2023 Social services etc do not normally say who has made the report in my experience.

I would write a very full and factual history and sent it to social services and the school. I would also consider writing to her GP, if you know who it is likely to be, as he may be able to offer some support on this. GP cannot communicate with you on the issue but he can take it into consideration. But I would most certainly officially raise it as a safeguarding concern to Social Services.

I think you’re right, she’s very good at presenting as okay when they do visit (my parents were good at this too!) and so they probably move on.

And she could be the same with school. We have parents stay on my hospital ward who are alcoholic and druggies. They rarely present off their faces.

Ok, keep reporting directly to SS but also to school and tell them you've told SS too.

It's likely school already have concerns given the circumstances and may already have reported it themselves but SS are stretched and it becomes less easy to ignore the more people there are reporting - especially when other professionals are involved because it leads to greater accountability.

Also, I know that we had concerns about one family (I'm a teacher). There were things we knew of but not enough for SS involvement until, one day, a member of the public witnessed an incident, recognised the child's school uniform and reported it to school. That was the missing piece that enabled it to he progressed to SS which, in turn, meant the family got appropriate support.

Keep reporting.

Definitely not unreasonable of you to keep reporting OP, I would do the same.

If you actually have footage of the violence infront of the kids I would also be reporting that to the police, get everything formally noted. Continue to report to the Contact & Referral team, I would also as other PP’s have said make the school aware. In theory, all of the systems should talk to each other but in practice they often don’t, in theory if police are attending that frequently it should tick the “this person and family need support” box. The tricky thing is, if she is sober and presenting as okay when they attend to do a check it is far too easy for them to just close the box and move on, budget cuts, lack of fostering support, lack of social workers, nobody is keen to add extra work where they can justify not doing it but if everything you have heard is true then I’d be truly worried for these kids.

People don’t report for all sorts of reasons.

You see it on here all the time, posters being advised to mind their own business, don’t get involved. Or being afraid of what will happen if they do, or assuming that SS won’t do anything so they don’t.

They also rarely seem to remove children as the priority is keeping families together with support. But who knows what that actually looks like.

Can you take the children?? That’s the obvious but very very big decision. If you contact Social Services and offer a solution at the same time it might prompt a different response??

Is anyone in Rl actually saying you’re unreasonable?

Cutbacks unfortunately op. All you can do is keep reporting. It's bloody awful i know.

Not everyone wants to get involved.

You are doing the right thing op. If your sister is fine there's nothin for her to worry about. Keep reporting.

What’s odd is why they aren’t reporting her

All your reports have based on hearsay from a relative

the relative who is actually seeing all this should be the one to report

More likely the social workers aren't doing their jobs properly. In my experience it takes many visits before anything is done. It does not mean anyone is lying or that things aren't that bad.

How sure are you that everything you hear is true? For all you know, your brother could be a compulsive liar. If your sister had actually been drunk when social services visited her, I would have expected that to trigger further assessment or support rather than simply being ignored. The fact that there appears to have been so little follow-up makes me question whether things are really as bad as your brother is making them sound.

If you can do peak to a niece or nephew tell them to tell their teacher once they are back at school. Those poor DC.

But you can’t assume that. And if she is turning up drunk school should be reporting it to social care. Every time. Or she’s good at hiding it, who knows.

Definitely phone social care and keep reporting. It blows my mind what social services ignore and deem acceptable. I say this as a children’s nurse who sees all sorts of shit.

School’s safeguarding team or email should be on their website.

Is your brother also reporting ? It sounds like what you are reporting is second hand which may not be helping

Are you reporting anonymously? You need to contact the relevant social services dept and ask to speak to someone giving your name

They can only help if she is willing to see an issue and accept it.

I fully agree about reporting things and contacting the school however I also agree with the previous poster who said in terms of social services I can well see it not meeting their threshold for support which is rediculously high sadly because they are so stretched.

Each and every time - report her

You can also report to NSPCC or the LADO for her area