AIBU to keep reporting my sister over concerns for her children?

I think you need to report and continue to report. Also ideally your brother and your cousins tooo. The more people who are concerned the better.

she will end up like your parents

My experience as an adopter is that reports from concerned individuals are added to the file - until something utterly catastrophic happens. Then the children are removed as an emergency. Then the reports are taken into consideration when deciding what to do next.

It was a rhetorical question. It is sad when parents lose their children to the care system but as an adopter, my experience and that of other adopters I know is of neglectful parents being given chance after chance after chance - and the children continuing to suffer. If you are a baby, you can't go back and redo those early months when you should be in a cycle of a primary care giver responding to you, regulating you, mirroring you. You end up like my adopted daughter with an insecure attachment style and a hyper sensitive anxiety/distress response.

I’d think about contacting her local MP, tell them that many reports have been made by various people but that no/ not enough action seem to be taken - this should hopefully trigger some kind of overview and get all the agencies communicating properly.

Didn't thresholds for neglect get raised recently? I may be wrong, but I thought neglect needed to reach proper safety issues above general neglect to reach CIN levels now. Below CIN, everything is only with parental agreement and Family First. I could well be wrong though, as this is just what I heard from an upset DSL who'd been pushing for involvement for a family we work with. She could have explained poorly. I know it's been harder and harder to get support for very obviously neglected children.

I've worked with lots of very chaotic families and came from one too. There never seems to be formal involvement before a child is deliberately hurt and even then, I've known beating with objects being signed of from social services after a couple of months and parenting advice (very recently too). That's not to say you should stop reporting, because without all the background and history social services definitely won't step in, just that you shouldn't expect that much either. It'll help having the prior reports if it gets worse for them though.

I used to wonder how I was left in the position I was as a child, then I started working in schools and saw the thresholds for state intervention. I was occasionally beaten (knocked out and bleeding beaten, not hit), emotionally neglected, surrounded by drugs, forgotten and not fed. In my 20s looking back that felt like it had warranted social services help! I was upset I'd not been worth helping. Now, I've known a fair few kids in exactly that same position in work, with SS stepping down involvement or not taking it up initially at all when we're already very worried. It makes sense to me now, my own childhood and lack of support. There's just not enough social workers and support workers for all the neglected kids.

That’s up to them isn’t it? I can’t answer!

To be fair, it’s a constant theme that people are so, so, worried about the children… that they’ll only report anonymously through some non direct route.
I’m sure that feels “safer” than facing to up to the consequences of reporting but I do wonder why that matters if you’re that worried about children.

@Pipiscoming2023

What practical help have you offered to your sister and to your nieces and nephews?

You can’t take that attitude with child protection unfortunately. It absolutely SHOULD work like how you’ve described, but sadly not as demonstrated so many times with these tragic events reported in the media. As many reports as possible are sadly required these days for them to do much of anything - and I’ve been in almost the exact same scenario as OP with my nephew’s mother. My entire family and FIVE neighbours were all reporting every month, yet SS were lapping up everything she told them, during their BOOKED visits to her….. You know, when she’d tidy the house, light scented candles and put on a face full of make up & her nicest outfit, whilst practicing her story all about how her ex-friend has turned everyone against her and is making malicious reports…….. Nothing was ever done until she nearly killed my nephew by throwing him down the stairs and he was admitted to hospital. I think myself and my family alone, made 64 reports in 18 months - zero action.
So yeah, aware they may well be, but it doesn’t mean they’ll act!

How much longer does she get though, while the children are suffering?

Social services will take your report farrrrrrrrrrrrr more seriously if you tell them you’re her sister! Not least because if it’s anonymous, your sister can just claim there’s a friend who’s being malicious! They get malicious reports all the time about people, so they’ll likely just disregard a lot of anonymous reports.

From what you describe I don’t think it matters whether you report what you hear or not. She’s known to social services and the police constantly go out to her- they know all
About her and likely more/ faster than you.

she’s got involvement, but that’s not the same as you seeing her children removed. That might happen in the future but for now she’s being given the chance

Please report directly to social services and not anonymously. Be clear about who you are, why you are concerned and who are the direct witnesses to this behaviour. Keep reporting each time you have new information or ensure it is reported by the witnesses.
If you pass onto the school, it may confirm other information they already have and can support them in any referral they make, but sometimes if school then try to pass information on other then directly from the children, it can then be dismissed as school passing on hearsay.
Just remember without your sister’s consent and your consent, you are unlikely to get any feedback. This doesn’t mean social workers are not working with the family. Unless it reaches a point where they are actively looking to remove children and place with family or elsewhere (section 20 or PLO), it is easy for family members to be none the wiser about the extent of social care involvement. Equally, if the threshold for Child Protection (section 47) is not reached then your sister can refuse to engage with support at Early Help or Child in Need (section 17) level.

Report ,write email.the children eed protection,she needs help .Is it worth contacting you MP and ask why. nothing is done or perhaps it is behind the scenes,keep trying the children are very vulnerable

Those poor children. Given she is living like this and only 28, I imagine there will be another pregnancy next year. I wonder if she stays sober during these pregnancies.. Grim, so grim for these innocent little ones.

OP, keep reporting. She sounds like someone who shouldn't have possession of a cat, let alone 4 under 10.

I know I must not say things like this, but if she isn't a case for state forced sterilisation, I don't know what is.

Social services is where it all ends up agree- report to children services- but you can do both. There are occasions where information is summarised and can loose it's impact- in my experience NSPCC give very full accounts. Either way you can be anonymous but no one can guarantee she won't figure it out. It's worth being prepared for that.

This.

Report directly to social services. It's much more effective and they'll be able to act more directly on the concerns.

I don't know about children's SS, but with adults, when there was a safeguarding concern about my mum in hospital, the woman who rang me about it said they get so many busybody calls, strangers reporting something and nothing, that they're absolutely overwhelmed (her words). Family obviously know what's going on, and reporting serious concerns like yours is important.

You are right to report her.

Yes this.
Please make the school aware.

They will follow up with social care too.

X

You think if something bad happened to a child in their area they wouldn't be aware!?

I adopted two children. The younger one was constantly handed over to family members, friends, neighbours. It left her with a super-friendliness to strangers, which has been incredibly difficult to shift. In her case, social services were involved - birth mum would hastily get baby back just before meetings. This went on for 6 months, but by then social services were being inundated with concerns from family, neighbours etc. Still they didn't act until there was a separate, catastrophic incident.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that handing her child to relative strangers is not ok and will probably have an impact longer term. But also it probably won't be enough to cause social services to act.