AIBU to keep reporting my sister over concerns for her children?

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Keep reporting this. Doesn't matter how many times you do it, these poor children are at risk. Something similar happened in my family. My s-in-l was a drinker. My db, her husband passed away due to cancer, but she had issues with drink long before he became ill. My parents would have the children nearly all the time because she was always drunk. It was 1.30am, a neighbour of my s-in-l rang my parents to say she woke up hearing children crying, they had been locked in the car, it was -3° that night, the car frozen up. My parents went straight away, my dad smashed the car window to get the kids out. She the s-in-l was crashed out drunk . My parents sorted the children out, they were freezing cold, & we do not know how they survived to be honest, l can still shed a tear 23yrs later. Very long story short, my parents rang the police and social services, who all came to the house within 20 minutes. My parents took the children to their house, where they remained until there careers took them away. The mother disappeared, she flew back to Australia, we found out through the police. All three children are amazing, so proud of them, and equally as proud of my parents. Please, do all you can, you will never forgive yourself if something bad happened

School will most defo see it as safeguarding and they will contact SS they won’t let it rest,so hopefully this will get sorted and those poor kids will be taken to safety.they have seen and heard enough and they are all so young.please don’t stop reporting.i hope everything gets sorted quickly as those kids cannot live like that.

She has already tried to do that,read the OP!

Those poor little children. What a life. Please do everything you can to get this sorted as they are far too young to look after themselves

Those poor children. It sounds like an awful situation for you all but please do keep reporting her. I don’t really know but it may help to use your name because then they can follow up on your reports and connect them. It’s hard for authorities to get children into safe care and make the right decision for them. It’s so hard for families too.

You absolutely should not feel unsafe in reporting her and that’s terrible that you have been made to. Nonetheless, those children are so vulnerable. I would suggest speaking to social services/school to see if they can advise you at all on reporting things as accurately, fully and safely as possible.

I’m so sorry to hear this and it must be stressful for you! I would keep reporting to anyone and everyone who will listen, it sounds like she is in denial but from what you’ve described her situation sounds extreme and it’s very likely she’s also intoxicated while looking after the kids. I don’t know what else to advise but I do empathise with how worrying this must be for you. Honestly, I wish social services would do a surprise visit or something on her! X

That's debatable. Too often everyday neglect is accepted by services - until something catastrophic happens, then they have to act. Up til then, the files just get bigger and bigger as more reports are made, meetings are held etc. And I should add, thresholds vary across the country. They shouldn't, but some LAs are more likely to act more quickly than others.

You need to fill in a MASH referral form it's direct to social service. School will also probably be reporting via this too.
I can't link as it's it specific to your county as it goes to your local social services.

My wife and I are foster parents and honestly the threshold is huge before the local authority will act. Often the children will already be classed as at risk but until the threshold is breached, no demonstrable action will be taken. Once breached action will be swift and decisive, with historic evidence from the school, family members etc. used for a Section 20 voluntary removal of the children from the parent, or if not willingly then the evidence will be presented to a judge and usually the children taken into care i. e. placed with foster parents. For these 4 children the annual costs will likely exceed £500k pa, and there is a desperate shortage of foster parents which reduces every year, whilst the number of children entering care rises every year. The cost and demand for this service is perhaps the reason for the high threshold. The hope is always that the children will return to the parent once they have had a chance to reflect and turn their lives around, which they are helped and encouraged to do. OP, you are already doing all you can realistically be expected to do. Speak to the school and raise yours and your other family members concerns. You will probably not be told directly that they are already in contact with social services - the children may even be getting visits from a local authority supervising social worker already - but rest assured they will have the children's care in mind at all times.

Why is that? NSPCC don't do anything, they just take the phone call and pass it onto the local authority children's front door team.

OP, it may be that something is going on and the family are already being monitored, you just aren't aware of it.

And for people going on about children being removed under PPO, things at home obviously weren't bad enough when the police visited otherwise they would have already done it.

Yes. You are being unreasonable. She needs family support, not punitive punishment. You say you live overseas but then say you could take her to a meeting or have a cup of tea. Which is it? Loving sisters step in and help. I assume she doesn’t have a partner as you don’t mention him. Solo mum. Four kids. Do the maths. Support. Your. Sister.

They are.

God this makes me angry, why the hell do children get left in these situations.
Carry on reporting op, to social services, the police, the schools.. every time.
Her poor kids, I was dragged up by similar, it was shit.

You are allowed to say no.

I agree keep reporting it can, unfortunately, take years for anything substantial to be done. An extended family member eventually had her 2 children (at the time) removed. The older one went to live with his grandfather & uncle and the younger one went to one of her other uncles and aunt. The younger get one is now 7 is diagnosed as ADHD & has been accepted by CDC for referral for Foetal Alcohol Syndrome (FASD) as she has complex needs due to neglect & trauma among other influences. A further child has since been taken away and adopted within extended family and he also has issues.

Does the 3 year old attend a nursery, preschool or childminder as they also have a duty of care to report.

Please do not report anonymously, should it go to court for removal your details can be redacted in any reports/evidence presented to court.

Just keep reporting. We reported my husbands cousin to social service at least 6
times for neglect before anything was done, and your story sounds similar to hers. Mum was often drinking, out meeting different men, bringing men home and passing out from drugs given them access to her children (thank god none of them took advantage and one of them actually rang the police himself to report). Her oldest son used to be so affectionate and loving to us which really worried me as we were effectively strangers to him. In the end her four children were removed. Three went with their dads and the oldest son with her mum.

from personal/professional experience, albeit many years ago, sometimes Social Services don't quite do what they should. Also, if you were wanting to maintain anonymity, don't rely on Social Services. You may get a better outcome by reporting to NSPCC.

There is a duty social worker in every locality on duty 24/7 find the phone number for your local one a NB d report every incident.

I’d keep reporting it for definite but I’m just soo sad that nothing appears to of been done yet , they are all soo young these children . I’d make a huge nuisance of myself actually

On a weekend evening you can request a welfare check on the children by the police citing your concerns. The police have the power to immediately remove the children under a PPO, police protection order.
As a family be prepared to get a phone call asking that you take interim care of the children while Social Services build a case and if you'd be willing to keep all the children if she loses them.

Have you arranged to go up and see her talk to her explain your concerns. Tell her your not judging and happy to help if you can but if the roles were reversed youd expect her to report you to keep the kids safe

Report to as many organisations as you can - hell, give me the details and I'll do it too. Keep records and tell SS, the doctors, school and the police that you will keep records and hold them personally responsible if anything happens to these children.

You have done the right thing and this is too important to ignore.

Have you been to Al-Anon/fam-anon? They will be able to help you better with the situation than folk on here although the responses are positive living with an untreated addict/alcoholic is extremely stressful
and makes loved ones unwell as the normal relationship dynamics become mixed up people with addictions can be needy and manipulative ( it’s just part of the progression of the illness ) you need to practice self care to make sure you are emotionally strong enough to reach out and help someone in this situation
the persistence of the denial is astonishing ( many pursue it into the gates of insanity and death )

it may be difficult but you need to let go if you have done what you can with social services and other avenues of help it is best to detach yourself from the situation without any guilt You can make sure that social services have a clear understanding of the situation there is a page on the website where you can ask for help for an adult anonymously you can decide to make the situation affirming asking others for advice is a great start!

No you should definitely report her again & again. Tell safeguarding at the school too. Not only is impossible for them to be looked after properly with a drunk mum but this addiction is being learned by them too. You are not reporting out of spite, it’s out of care.