To leave early after my dad told off my son?

And the fact that OP has absolutely no idea how to get to the station without a lift from the “abusive, controlling” dad, says a lot.

What a stupid comment. You've obviously never been to rural wales.. it's not a case of 'not knowing' how to get to the train station, if you haven't got a car, and taxis will not collect you from your location, no public transport nearby. How do you propose she gets to the station? Walk? Down miles of unlit country lanes with her 5 year old?

I'm all for playing devils advocate on here and seeing the other side of the story we aren't getting, but accusing OP of lying about her own experience and then making up scenarios in your own head just to further stick the boot in is pretty unhinged.

It's in no way outrageous. He's 5, not 25.

I think these responses are absolutely ridiculous. People being offended at a 5 year old is just absurd with unrealistic behaviour expectations. If he was 15 then that would be different. This is absolutely a non post and a waste of everyone's time and energy. Adults worrying about a slightly cheeky 5 year old literally have no real problems to be concerning themselves with.

OP your son is 5 and burped repeatedly - the consequence is he was told off. Not by you but by your dad. Your dad took it too far. However I don’t think he was wrong for telling him off. It is disgusting and nobody would enjoy sitting around that behaviour.

Take a step back though and how you’re dealing with it after the fact is the bigger problem. You’re an adult and you’re avoiding speaking about it. Even weirder it is ‘too awkward’ to discuss so you are staying until Sunday, somewhere you don’t want to be so you can avoid a discussion. That’s really weird behaviour and your son is seeing this and watching this and absorbing it. Do you want him to have seen you cry, tolerate the excessive telling off and then not deal with it? You’re teaching him to just ignore it and not communicate.

Put your big girl pants on and tell your dad that whilst you agree with him picking your son up, it went too far. You don’t appreciate being told you’re a bad mum and if that’s his belief then you’ll be heading home prior to Sunday.

Boomers are really out in force on this thread

Your son is 5 so is going to school in September? I sincerely hope you correct this behaviour before then. He’s not a baby, you need to instil manners and respect for others. He’s going to be in trouble a lot if you don’t.

Haha, ok … never said I was there or acted like it. The arrogance of you defending your point as though you were there 🤣

Some of the responses here suggest many people just don't understand the difference between kids and adults...

Your son behaved poorly. That is to be expected of a five year, they aren't always perfect, especially outside of their own environment and little boys often act up to impress/seem funny - that is normal social learning- and you were clearly correcting him, taking away dessert and film.

Your father behaved appallingly - shouting at the child & being verbally abusive about your entire parenting style in front of your very young son. This isnt intervention - this is anger.

This against the backdrop of previous emotional abuse and controlling behaviour in your childhood suggests you should listen to your gut OP.

I wouldnt leave my son in his company alone, I wouldn't be stuck in a rural location alone with him again, and I'd suggest or create a polite reason why you might need to leave early. I would learn from this, spend less intense periods of time together in neutral locations.

Your poor little lad, he is unlucky, the overwhelming majority of adults and grandparents would never react that way to a restless, giddy kid.

Finally five year old boys are not designed to sit like adults and eat for long periods at tables. Movement is normal and expected - he won't be doing this at 18 but your dad might still be controlling and abusive in 13 years...

Haven’t RTFT but I would try talking to father one more time and then leave if not successful.

You were dealing with it.

Following.

The grandfather didn’t criticise him He shouted at him and frightened him.
I would never allow another person to shout at my children.

Don't be a dick to people on the internet just because you think it makes you look all edgy and hard.

Some people on here are awful.
Your job is to look after & protect your little one. Stuff your dad. Take the little one home...& Make sure he knows it's not his fault.

As for burping... I'm a bad granny that laughs & joins in. Get a grip, people 😏

This is wild, do other peoples 5 year olds honestly not mess around at the table? Definitely something mine would do, especially when they know there’s pressure to behave.

Unless it’s as a caregiver I don’t think you need to tell off other peoples kids.

I hope today was okay for you OP.

I feel for you, it's awful being judged by your shitty parent who's own parenting was so awful you're still triggered by them!

I have a defiant 5yo, so I relate to your struggle! At 5 their prefrontal cortex—the brain area responsible for self-regulation is still very immature. They are still learning impulse-control. Yes of course they still need to be told when they're in the wrong and disciplined accordingly so they learn what right and wrong (which it sounds like you were doing before your Dad railroaded you), but it's unreasonable to except them to be able to control themselves 24/7 at age 5.

Outragous a five year old burping at the table?? My son gets a kick out of these things and giggles as he and his friends at school finding burping and farting hillarious. Yes correct the child as i do, but at five they are just little. Also not speaking to an adult is normal - sometimes my son will say you tell mummy. Your dad needs to lighten up children are so lovely and fun his loss if he continues to be a grump. I'd have to have said something.

I agree. You dont punish children by removing food from them!

Your son sound very badly behaved and you sound like you enable it. “He wouldn’t have ignored him”. I find it hard to believe that a child running feral round the dinner table froze in shyness at being asked a question.

Dont post on MN if you dont want peoples opinions 🙄

My dad is unemotional robot and your dad is unable to connect with your son. Dont bother going there again your dad has obviously no clue how ro engage with kids. Hence why you have suffered from his hurtful remarks

So your son was rude, burping at the table and being naughty and disrespectful in your dads house? No he wasnt in the wrong. Your son should know how to behave

Teach your child manners then you wouldn’t have this problem

Hugs OP, your dad sounds like a bully. Make an excuse and leave. You don't need to have any kind of confrontation. Just get you and your son out of the situation and in future if you feel like you have to see him, just make it a day and go somewhere neutral.

Your son is 5, and your dad's behaviour towards him and you is way worse than any 5 year olds table manners.