To leave early after my dad told off my son?

Tedious drip feed.

You son was repeatedly burping at the dinner table????

That is really awful behaviour and very disrespectful to everyone else who is trying to eat. How were you 'dealing with it'?

Then he was in floods of tears after being told off, as were you?? Sounds all a bit dramatic tbh.

A child repeatedly burping at the dinner table is really triggering Op. Please don't be precious about your child.

And older men sometimes don't have the same skills to interact with 5 year olds. My grandad was stiff. Asking how school was is fine.

You keep reiterating that he’s a shy and introverted kid but then in the company of someone he gets up, messes about and repeatedly burps at the dinner table? My mum would have told my son off too and she’d have been right to do so.

Now if your dad has always been controlling and abusive that’s a different matter entirely and I wouldn’t have been stopping there anyway.

But why should he apologise or admit he was wrong? The child was burping at the dinner table and fidgeting about instead of displaying basic manners, eating his meal and behaving like a human being.
Perhaps your dad was overly sharp with the boy but ‘his house, his rules’!
Have a conversation with dad and your child, no one needs to be upset - just accept that this can be put behind you. Instil good manners in the boy and carry on with your holiday.

You say that you were dealing with it but obviously weren't successful. I think that your Dad was correct to tell him off. You should try it!

It's ok for your dad to do this - I would with my grandchild! We would have a set to, I'd wash up (loudly, to make a point 😂) get an ice cream for my grand child and ask my daughter if she wanted a cuppa. That it!! This is normal. People are allowed to fall out for a bit - why would you want to leave? You can't leave over every perceived or real slight against you

You wasn't "dealing with it" it seems and your dad got fed up. I have 4 sons and I would absolutely not stand for that behaviour at all. What disgusting table manners.
Your dad doesn't need to apologise but I get the feeling you're one of those boy mums who see no wrong in their behaviour and everyone else is wrong.

DS wouldn’t sit still, kept getting up and burping at the table

Yeah, your dad kind of has a point. A huge one. My parents would have absolutely bollocked me if I'd done this at that age. It's disgusting to keep burping while others are eating at the table.

Dad is right. You haven't taught your son any manners.

It takes a village to raise a child. Do you have much support around you? Does your son have any / many positive male role models in his life?

His behaviour was incredibly rude and it sounds as if your efforts at stopping it were ineffective. I don’t blame your Dad for intervening - repeated burping at the table is revolting and would have put me off my meal.

In the current situation, if you want to maintain some sort of relationship with your Dad I’d keep busy today and tomorrow with your son and leave as planned on Sunday. But you need to set down clear expectations of what behaviour you expect from your son, particularly at mealtimes. Set some firm and appropriate boundaries and follow them through consistently. Not just at your Dad’s, all of the time.

Your ds is anxious, just have a calm atmosphere with the grand dad

Of course asking how school is is a normal question

What other plans do you have while you are there

Asking children how school is going is a fairly normal question from an adult to a child, and shows an interest. I hardly think it's 'boring or abstract'.

Burping at the table is absolutely disgusting, Sorry but it is.

I’m always grateful for my dad telling off. My kids get more upset (and compliant!) when Grandad tells them off than when I do it!

likewise, I was told off three times by my grandad as a child and I remember every one!

In what way?

Yep. Like he wanted a reaction. Disgusting

The good thing about adulthood is that we can hold our heads high and make the decision to walk away. It's not running like a child, it's making an adult choice to do what suits us best and just... Leave

If you know your dad is emotionally abusive, you shouldn’t have gone for an extended visit I’m afraid.

your son’s behaviour at the table was gross.

Be the adult op not a child running away

What stands out is that your reaction to your father telling off your son is for you to hide from him.

There's got to be a hefty backstory here. Perhaps he's got form as being controlling in your childhood, you're unable to handle criticism or conflict, neither of you have healthy communication skills, or some combination of those.

The adult reaction (after sorting your son out( would have been to go back downstairs, make a cuppa and talk to your dad about boundaries, what's bothering him and how you both negotiate that.

I've had to do it with both my parents and my in-laws when the children were young. It leads to healthier relationships. Running away and hiding doesn't.