To leave early after my dad told off my son?

This! This is the crux of the matter.

Your child’s behaviour sounds like a one off. Maybe he’s picking up on tension in the house and acting out as he is feeling weirded out.

But you know why. This is your Dad’s character. Are you still in FOG to him?

I would be seeking counselling to discuss why you are letting your precious child be exposed to the same abuse that you suffered as a child. Is this relationship actually beneficial at all to your DS and to you?

Your dad was right to tell him off. He kept doing it so you clearly weren't dealing with it effectively. 'About to start behaving?' Seriously? 😂

Your son needs some proper discipline and if you aren't doing it, someone else will.

When did you arrive?

I agree with your dad.

This.

YANBU to feel uncomfortable. It sounds like your dad doesn’t know how to interact with kids.

MN always blames the mum if it’s a choice between the mum and grandparent.

Any chance you could book a taxi to take you to the station?

I was going to say that yes, this is bad behaviour that needs correcting, but then read your update that you were dealing with it when your father decided to put his oar in. 5 year olds are liable to behave badly sometimes, that's just par for the course. YANBU, but it sounds like you are also reacting to the parenting you received and have problems standing up to your father. Perhaps not easy to leave from your location but is there a local taxi you can call if your father won't drive you? Have you asked him?

OP I don’t think it’s helped you drip feeding to be honest!

Firstly most people won’t go and seek out the many responses after your Original post. So my opinion going on your OP is that your son misbehaved (I’ve got a 6 year old son and know it can be tricky these days BUT he will sit at the dinner table at school and I should hope that he wouldn’t behave like this after a year in reception!).

However, after reading the information in your following posts, I can understand why you feel your dad’s responses were triggering. I understand he lives in the Welsh countryside, but you have enough WiFi to come on MN so I would use that to find a taxi/bus service to take you to the station.

Be honest with your dad, two more days of exposing your son could be traumatising for him.

Op you know what you want to do and you are seeking validation . Follow your gut if you don't like the advice offered, it is offered in good faith

Yeah right.

Why are you calling a 5 year old names? Makes you feel good does it?

You’re not being unreasonable at all. Your Dad behaved badly, so did your DS but only one of those should possess the maturity and self regulation to correct this themselves.

there are some absolute see you next Tuesdays on here, I hate them.

School wouldn't have tolerated his behaviour and would have told him off and @Sparklesbigtoe is failing her child if she keeps going to pieces every time someone tells her child off for misbehaving.

Threatening to not let him watch a film wasn't appropriate for a 5 Yr old constantly burping or getting up and down either, he wouldn't care enough, and I have to agree with others he is not introverted he was showing off and deliberately being naughty.

Noone is perfect least of all mebut I have raised 6 decent, polite well mannered kids. It's nothing special and no more than a good parent should be aiming for😄

I would speak to your Dad. Apologise for ds's behaviour at the table but tell him you were handling it and don't appreciate him stepping in. Tell him that the parenting is to come from you and he is not to confuse ds by taking over in future. If he apologises too -great. If he doesn't and you still want to leave get an Uber.

He was testing boundaries and found it. Unless you think that the boundary should move to accommodate the obnoxious little sod, then grandad was correct to tell him off.

OP it might be worth posting on the Stately Homes thread on relationships forum. It's for adults who had abusive parents. You'll find more understanding people over there.

Ok, so you know the behaviour needed correcting, but it wasn't an ideal reaction from your dad. That's grandparents for you. I'm older, my ds is 24, I was also a single mum from when he was 2. My dad wasn't abusive etc but was very very selfish and set in his ways. My mum was a 'smack first ask questions later' person. So, we didn't see them that much and when we did I just got on with life and viewed it as a set amount of time. It improved as ds got older and it then wasn't about them bending their outlook to interact with him. The basic truth for a lot of grandparent age, especially men, they didn't sit on the floor drawing pictures and playing with cars, they told their children to sit down and behave and the children did it.
For you, your visit is nearly over, can you manage for 2 more days or is it time to call it a day and maybe in future make the stay a shorter one or suggest that your dad visits you?

Too shy to talk but confident enough to burp and misbehave at the table? Not sure the two positions reconcile.

(totally get he could have just not heard or been engrossed in something else though).

i feel your Dad was harsh. Yes it’s not ideal but he’s 5 and not in his familiar surroundings.

ignore the holier than thou comments from Mrs perfects on here.

I’d leave, my parents would have never treated me or my children like that

Your father was right to speak up. Your son's table manners were appalling.

YANBU

I’m not saying it’s right, but I can see why your DF snapped.

There are kind ways to speak to children and teach them manners.

Does your DS usually behave like that? Can you usually find a way to handle him and calm him down?

I would speak to your dad without your DS there and if I got the feeling he was going to carry on and cause a bad atmosphere, I would ask him for a lift to the station.

I would also speak to your DS about burping/good manners.

Could you go out just with your DS today to give them both some space?

Kids get tired and find it hard to sit at the table at the best of times, especially with grumpy people. They do silly things to try and lighten the mood and engage with people. He’s 5. You’re doing fine. Your dad should speak to you privately if he has an issue.

Actually I do think you need to reflect on why you’re exposing yourself and DS to a man you know is abusive (given your additional posts, which many posters won’t have read). However, that’s something to do when you’re home.

Today I would book a taxi to the station and go home.