to be stressed by constant affection from children

'' readingmakesmehappy · Today 10:38
Being touched out is very real.
I try to tell myself they won’t always want these cuddles so I should gather them up while I can.''

Or has centuries of patriarchy thought us to ignore our own God given instincts to move away from overstimulation and #be kind?

It's not the fault of the children, we are born primed to live in a village with many caretakers, but there's only mum, maybe dad and some siblings so they get the full blast

That's ok. In a few years he's going to be picking his nose, slamming doors behind him and swearing at you.

See my teens didn't ignore me and I'm one of the parents that wouldn't tolerate small kids constantly climbing over me

Being touched out is very real.
I try to tell myself they won’t always want these cuddles so I should gather them up while I can.

I don't know if I did this as a child but my sister and I used to do this to my mother as adults 😂. She would be reading a newspaper or watching TV and we would try to lie up against her until she yelled at us to get off . Mummy !

Haha been there my eldest thought that was hilarious 😂

Yep, ive read plenty of threads like this.
Not even 20 years wait till they get to teens.
My sisters kids stopped all the clinging stuff around 9 / 10 years old, all in there 20s now doing their own thing.

I understand completely how you feel and the guilt that comes with it! I have 4 dc my eldest is 13 and can't stand me haha but the younger 3 are glued to my side all day! if I sit down they pile on me or want constant cuddles it really is sufficating. I feel so guilty that I just want them to go away sometimes as I know from experience they won't want me when they get older but it just gets too much!

I and most other people I know, must be exceptionally unlucky. Our children are late 20s to early 40s and still finding use for us.
Don't let them watch family guy. My then teen DD and her friends thought it was hysterical to follow me around saying, mama, mummy, (name) like Stewie Griffin does when he goes through the obsession attachment stage for his Mum, Lois.

My 6 yo plonks her feet in my lap and demands that I tickle them. Meanwhile her brother is trying to force his way onto my lap. Sometimes I hide in the toilets for a few minutes to get away from the constant physical contact. I know some day they won’t be caught dead anywhere near me but it’s intense at times

My kids do the same especially my five year old. The more you say no the more he wants it. Oh well just another two weeks. Also what a pp said about getting down to their level and telling them.why you are busy now and when you will have time for them.

My ten year old doesn't demand hugs anymore.

Hi Op. It's perfectly normal. No one wants to be touched all the time no matter how much you love your kids. And we need to be able to do stuff. Sometimes I think it's ok to give a quick hug and then say "go play" or a cheery "I need to work now. Love you".

I think a lot of times they just want that reassurance that you are there and you are there for them. So if not a hug maybe you can hold their hand or something that you find less draining. sometimes I think they are just bored. It will get easier after the summer holidays.

I have also explained to my kids that there are times when I just don't want to be touched and it doesn't mean I don't love them or don't love their affection or wouldn't want a hug later abd most importantly they can always saY no to physical affection as well. In practice I don't think I've ever denied a hug when they wanted one but I do think they need to learn that hugs or any physical touch is always voluntary and can't be forced or demanded. Neither from them nor from anyone else. I think at 5 this is definitely something you can talk about with your child..

Nonsense.

My 5yo is like this, I think he thinks it’s a game but I hate it and he gets the little one involved too so then they are both at it 😭

Oh my god, I can’t bear it, I feel so claustrophobic. They (2 and 5) are all over me all the time. I love a hug but it’s the climbing and the constant hanging on me.

We make light of this stifling existence full of overstimulation with small children, but I think it's a much bigger deal and can cause a type of PTSD.

There are years and years of this with small kids, and often no means of escape from it. If it was happeat a place of work, it would be illegal because of the effect on mental health.

Being constantly provoked, ground down, going into survival mode and a loss of identity is often the sum of it.
But it's all worth it, ha ha.

My most enjoyable times as a mother of young children was when we were with my friends with children that kept them occupied so I could breathe. The nuclear family is too intense and we aren't designed for it.

I definitely know what you mean.

I feel guilty that I don’t feel this way about my almost two year old wanting affection and climbing on me because to me she’s just a little baby. However my 7 year old often wants to sit on me, clamber on me, cuddle and be right in my face etc and I find it so overstimulating because she’s big and heavy now. I know she won’t want to soon so I should just try to enjoy it but….in my head I’m like ‘GET OFFFFF!’

Oh I'm loving this thread. It's just so true to life ( sorry is that the right expression).
You love your kids but just want them to leave you the hell alone.
You are so normal and honest it's really refreshing.
Listen Up. Mine are in their 40s now but were never affectionate. They had a bit of a free range childhood. And days were spent disappearing over the hill and not coming back till dark.
Even now hugging is a strange part of our family.....sometimes I overhug to get a laugh and a lot of squirming and "mother cut it out" is done in good humour. Ps. We are all of us emotionally very close but maybe just not huggers.
I would just try and distract them with anything you can. That baby voice would drive me crazy. I had friends who's kids did it and I wanted to throw something. Just say you can't understand until they speak properly.
Ps. I do sympathise and wine helps!!!

Haha times that by 20! I love my job but sometimes 20 children wanting a cuddle leaves me tapped out! I try and see it as a positive thing that at nursery I’m their safe space expect the little sod who kept stroking my ankle at story time last year! He obviously like the hairiness as was always more difficult to shake off when I had hairy legs!!! 🤣

when this happens to me i give into it - i find that doing that a few times then means they get bored with trying to achieve it and ease off.

Don't worry, they move out eventually and like me, you can return to your prickly ways 😆.

I hated the silly put on baby voice phase, pretended I couldn't hear them until they spoke properly which soon stopped it!

I’m howling about the good evening and pulling the covers back 😂😂😂

Yanbu, although my 5yo used to do this more to dh and call him "Dadda" when in this mood. Usually when she wanted something like more cake. Do not reward this behaviour with more cake!!