AIBU to think my sister overreacted to my 11 year old's attitude?

@Lastchancesaloonsurely You haven’t done and I think it’s resolved for OP now.

Sorry you had a difficult time too. I didn’t mean to derail this thread

I’m so sorry, that sounds like a very difficult way to grow up. I’m sure this thread doesn’t sound like much - a child with a loving mother who defends him being shouted at by an aunt isn’t the same. Even that should never happen, to anyone at any age. I’m not without my own hard experiences in this area, either.

If you wanted to start a thread, I’ll be there and I’m sure we’d be in good company.

Usually led on to being beaten around the head too so the shouting was the least of it.

I didn’t know a way to say this when you posted last night without coming across poorly, but I wondered if you were from a family where this was normalised.

It is really hard to know sometimes that things are not OK when we grew up in a home where bad things happened routinely. It is not normal and it’s not OK if someone did that to you.

Not at all. You are diminishing the severity verbal abuse by equating it to merely shouting.
Do you say that slapping someone’s bottom is sexual assault too?

Guilty conscience?

His attitude does sound bad, esp with the window seat. If you want to reason and explain, that’s fine but he’s old enough to understand that if he’s being rude, not everyone will be patient with him.

Did she really ‘scream in his face’? I see this a lot on MN when it’s more like someone just raising their voice a bit more than usual.

Sounds like you were fortunate if you never had your parents screaming in your face when you were a child.

Nonsense.

That’s the definition of verbal abuse. 🥴

In my 62 years and 4 children I have never come across anyone ever screaming in a childs face.

Your sister is a disgrace and I cannot believe you are fine with it now.

This is not how normal decent parents behave around anyone, much less children.

Parents can raise their voices of course, and do, but screaming in a childs face is disgusting behaviour.
Real Jeremy Kyle low class behaviour.

The holiday sounds hellish and I wouldn't be doing it again.
It is important to help teach your child regulate his emotions and being around his aunt who sounds like a fish wife and her arsehole husband is not to be encouraged.

A person screaming in another person’s face is verbal abuse. In this case it was an adult screaming in a child’s face. It’s very scary to have someone who’s obviously out of control with anger yelling at you, because you don’t know what they may do next. Having someone close up in your face is even more physically threatening.

Verbally abused 🤣🤣🤣
a.k.a shouted at

She needs to apologise to your DS.
He’s the one that was verbally abused.

And other things that didn't happen.

Why? Luck of the draw for the first post to kick the OP around.

She hasn’t reacted ‘furiously’ but ‘defensively’ which is natural when certain posters seem to delight in encouraging child abuse as ‘discipline’

You sit in your assigned seat they have allocated seating and manifests for a reason if he didnt have a window seat allocated tough luck same for the other kids !
Your son sounds hard work and you're doing that gentle parenting thing , yeah ive seen how that ends up there's times for explaining and times for discipline , I also doubt she screamed in his face she may of raised her voice or shouted but thats entirely different to screaming .
Id advise not going away with them again problem solved .

It sounds like a nightmare together. Just dont holiday together again The kids all sound 'at that age' and just pure annoying

Screaming in his face is obviously not ok, but if he's been 'explained' at every time he has an attitude and it's not sinking in, perhaps he needs a firmer approach sometimes. If he's of a pedantic mindset, explaining why he's wrong is an open invitation for him to try to talk his way out of his poor behaviour; it's possibly become a bit of a game to him.

OP this isn’t the place to get a balanced discussion. People will automatically turn against the OP, almost whatever they say. It’s just how it works here. There are other more reflective boards to discuss this stuff.

your sister did overstep if she really screamed in his face, but others are less tolerant to your child than you are, as you found with your sisters kids behaviour. Pre teen cheek can be more irritating than younger children having a tantrum.

Please ignore this poster!

Sounds to me like you sis and brother in law have negative view if your son. Never go on holiday with them again.

Ok, I read your original post. I think your sister over stepped by raising her voice at your son. I am saying raising her voice because I wasn’t there and it’s your perspective that she was screaming. Not saying I do not believe you but everyone’s perspective of ‘screaming’ is different. Your next lengthy comment I stopped reading not even half way through you were point scoring and in all honestly I am never interested in point scoring especially when it comes to children.

Your child is 11 years old they have not been a toddler for many years and the behaviour you described, described just that. And where your style of parenting ‘explaining etc’ is very useful with toddlers works, they get to an age where explaining and that passive style of parenting no longer works. I do feel you haven’t adjusted your parenting style accordingly to your child’s ages as they have grown up and entered different stages of their childhood. Which has resulted in a difficult child whose behaviour is rather challenging, possibly more challenging for others than yourself. You are use to their attitude your sister and family are not. You will have a higher tolerance level than them.

I’m sorry but you need to up your game a little adjust what is acceptable your child is 11 not 3. As for holidaying together again I wouldn’t.