To think if you hate kids you shouldn’t have become a parent?

I really don't like being with other people's children frankly play dates were torture for me. I ensured them and was friendly and kind to my children's friends always but it felt like a chore.

I don’t like some kids the way I don’t like some adults. In an office setting there will be adults I don’t like and avoid; in the same way at the playground there will be kids I don’t like and avoid.

Like PP, I dislike a large proportion of adults too so I am at least consistent.

I didn’t really realise how annoying children are until I had my own and had to spend all my time with them. Or more accurately, I didn’t realise how sensitive I am to noise and mess and how much I need my own space, until I had children. We got through the early years. I nearly lost my sanity several times but we all survived. They’re young adults now and delightful company. I try not to spend time in places where there are a lot of children about. It’s just the relentless noise I find hard to bear. I also glaze over when people talk endlessly about their kids (with the exception of my nieces and nephews and the children of very close friends). I don’t hate children, but they do trigger great irritation in me with their noise and chaos. I do best in very quiet, calm environments.

I don't hate kids but I am not a huge fan of them as a general group. generlaly noisy and a bit annoying
However there are some I like, some I don't and if they are The Dc's friends I tolerate them and am nice to them.
I don't understand people who can love/hate any group of people - surely it should be each one on their own merits?

It is because other people's children are unpredictable and noisy and annoying, is really what they mean, least you know your own children, i don't think you have to love being around kids all the time.

OMG - this is me (except for the dogs. I rarely meet a dog that I wouldn’t object to taking home with me).

I can help shape, inspire, teach, discipline etc my own child. I can’t do that with others. I find in the UK we are expected to ‘tinkly laugh’ when other peoples children are causing chaos at nice places, not sitting still and joining in conversations in restaurants, being unable to venture anywhere public without needing an iPad to occupy them, whining because Mummy said no to an ice cream. I don’t want to be around adults like that so I really don’t wish to be around children like it either. It’s not a ‘dislike’ of children per se, it’s a dislike of the current culture that children shouldn’t be expected to behave because ‘kids aren’t perfect’ which seems to excuse 99% of families that can’t be arsed to get their kids to behave.

I think the question is why dont people parent their children? I dont like the majority of children because they are feral.

I think this is a bit of a myth, sorry. Italians dote on babies and tiny children but after the age of 3 or 4 they're treated mostly with benign neglect and left to their own devices.

It depends on the child. My dcs have some lovely friends.

It's not the children I dislike. It's the parents who seem unwilling to parent to the detriment of their children and everyone around them.

Maybe women have to say they hate kids because they're not allowed to simply dislike them?!

I’m not sure the ones who bullied me my entire school life (different schools) were vulnerable, curious and innocent… my child was bullied also by not vulnerable , curious and innocent children

I don't hate kids but I resent the fact that I'm supposed to be ga ga over babies, love talking about kids etc just because I happen to be a woman and a mother. The same pressure isn't there for my DH even though he is a parent too.

I love my kids but I don't want to talk about them all of the time, I'm also not interested in other people's kids and find discussion around them largely boring.

It's a reason why I only made it to parent and baby groups a few times.

I don't parents hate other kids rather they loose the patience and tolerance they might once have had because they are run ragged by their own kids. Or they become hyper aware of negative traits in other people's children that they have worked hard to avoid in their own. E.g. noisy whiny kids in a restaurant when your own are behaving would be annoying.....it's easy to forget that time your own child tipped you overt the edge by being a total pain because they were coming down with chickenpox and felt like crap but were unable to vocalise it.

I work in a school and I've heard kids say that certain teachers hate kids. They don't but there is often something else going on for that teacher, sick elderly parents, divorce, work related stress and it is a tough job. Unless you can give almost 100% every day with endless patience and tolerate the kids notice and feel like you aren't doing enough for them.

I always disliked kids, except babies. I had my own and obviously I love and like them to bits but I also like kids in general a lot more now.

I hate this expression, but first post nails it.

I don't have a general knack for children. I am EXCELLENT, in my not so humble opinion, with the ones I know well. My son and his little pals? Best buddies. His best friend swerved round him to hug me round the knees the other day, I was dead chuffed.

But I neither want or need to have that sort of relationship with any random child. It is as weird to say "I love all children" as it is to say "I love all 30-somethings". The only difference is they you can't blame a child from being an unsocial little scrote.

And frankly, there are and should be parts of your life to which even your own child isn't welcome.

I am not a parent by choice and I hear more of this generalised not liking children from parents than from other childfree people.

It's really the opposite for me, I like other people's children well enough, but I know I would hate having my own children.

I think a lot of people use “I hate kids” as a way of saying they find being around children tiring or overwhelming. Parenting your own child is also a very different experience from being around groups of other children.
As long as people are respectful towards other children, I don't think there’s much to read into it. Everyone has different levels of patience for noise, mess and chaos.

On the contrary. I have loved having mine. Every single day since I had them, one of them had made me laugh.

I don’t love generic ‘children’. I never see a group of children and think, ahh cute etc. I would choose to be seated away from a young family when eating dinner.

But I love my own kids and I really enjoyed being around my children’s friends when they were younger. Now their friends are all young adults and we are friends in our own right, which is lovely. I think you’re reading too much into this. You need to question why you care about this quite so much.

Quite the opposite actually! Many women who claim they "love kids" and end up having one baby after the other are those who fuck them up the most. They don't have the resources or attention to meet the needs of all those children.

I actually liked children more before I had my own.

Then my tolerance for shitty parenting and poorly behaved children plummeted.

And also massively irritating.