AIBU to think his solo holiday plans are selfish?

I am confused.

Would he go on holiday with you & the children if your parents weren’t going?
Where does it say that the OPs holidays have included her parents?

So he's going to leave you to watch HIS children solo while HE has a vacation by himself? I don't bloody think so!

Well, you’re certainly successful at being the nanny with the fanny or the bangmaid. He’s one happy little Vegemite .

He won’t make changes. Why should he? You have made his life supremely comfortable.

Any and all changes have to come from you and it will be a separation because that’s the only way you will get out of this situation.

He's checked out of family life hasn't he.
Are your kids , his kids too?
First off I wouldn't be offering any more childcare to his kids. Let them see what a useless lump he is. Stop bailing him out of his childcare responsibilities and I would be asking him to pack his stuff before he goes away and take it to his Mums and when he returns he can go back there. Then I would book a weekend away and leave him with the kids. If it's good enough for him, then it's good enough for you.

I think you're letting him walk over you . Time to get some boundaries and he either shapes up or ships out.

Bang out of order. I'd have gone mental after the two holidays. Even before he suggested a holiday by himself. Leaving you to sort out the kids.

I hate this type of behaviour because there is very little that you can do that does have a negative impact on the kids. He obviously doesn't care if you get upset.

Personally, if he went i'd being kicking him out. It is so horrible but that than leaves you in the position of having to dump his child at his mum's or continue to be his unpaid childminder.

Also, i'd be looking for evidence of another women. (No-one is that selfish surely?)

Spot on.

So whilst he’s on his date with a sun bed who will be caring for his children?

He doesn’t sound particularly invested in family life and is almost certainly taking the absolute Michael out of you.

I’d be reconsidering this relationship.

You sound like a lovely step mum, do they live with you full time? Don’t be a mug tho.

OP, I hope I'm wrong about this, but could the reason he's backed out of going on holiday with you and the kids, be that he has another woman in the background, who he's been able to see easily, with you and the kids being out of the way? If so, maybe his reason for wanting a 'solo' holiday, is actually that he's planning on a nice holiday away with her, rather than with you and the children?

Also, I'm a little confused, you refer to the children and being 'mine and my partner's', do you mean that you and he are the parents of all 3 children, or does he have children with someone else, who you've also taken away with you?

Either way, you are not being unreasonable, as a man who refuses to holiday with his partner and children, but then takes a 'solo' holiday while his partner stay's home and takes care of everything, is a selfish arsehole, and in your shoes, I would be showing him the door.

I have taken mine and my partners children on holiday twice

Are the children yours together, or are some of them your step children? I can’t quite understand.

I can't believe what I am reading! Absolutely not ok to stay home while you go on holiday with all the kids and then expect a relaxing holiday on his own. That is not what being a family is about. Honestly if it were my husband I would be changing the locks if he went.

So he’s a useless waste of space then basically.

Who is going to watch is children while he is on this solo holiday?

Would he go on holiday with you & the children if your parents weren’t going?

I mean you can’t stop him from going on his solo holiday, same as he can’t stop you ending the relationship!!

he is being so selfish, tell him you will book your own trip for a week away solo & he can be default parent for a week

But why are you looking after his dc, without him ?

@Sam17062002 that would absolutely not happen in my life.
Get rid of the clown.
Oh my days.

Are you doing most of the care at home for your own and his kids as well? He sounds incredibly selfish.

You have explained it fine, and you are right: he is opting out of parenting his children decently and letting you pick up the slack. Selfish is spot on.

Some people do go away without their family. Often with friends, and there isn't really any difference whether they go alone or with friends, personally I would prefer to spend my precious leave and money on going with my family. But maybe I'm wrong, as lots of people do, and I guess if both partners are ok with it, then it's fine. I'm more like you and think if you choose to have a family, unless you've got lots of spare time and money, then holiday with them.

Omg sorry no absolutely not.... your partner is being an extremely selfish f*er....

I'd say sure. I'll go for a week and you can go when I come back.