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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Meghan Markle has every right to worry about her security?

671 replies

Hardware252525252525 · 20/08/2026 22:07

I’m not a monarchist and haven’t really taken much notice of the whole saga, but obviously do know the main points.

However, the comments across Mumsnet and multiple newspapers and websites are absolutely insane and unhinged. People who don’t know them insisting she’s leaving Harry and the kids, is controlling him, that they’re skint and tge
kids will have to go to state school if Charles doesn’t pay, people saying they hope a random stranger sees her and gives her ‘some home truths’.

It is absolutely crackers and I worry about the sanity of the people who seem to really believe they know them.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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MrsLeonFarrell · 28/08/2026 11:32

KnickerlessParsons · 28/08/2026 07:48

If the Daily Mail doesn’t publish where they’re living and where the kids are going to school soon, then a deal
MUST have been done, surely. Inless the kids never leave the house or they’re all sheltering at Althorp.

The press were never going to write about where the children were at school or where they are living. Paps aren't going to haunt the school gates. This has been the case for decades. When Meghan spoke about 40 paps outside the school she simply didn't know what she was talking about.

The reason the Wales family have one photographer taking photos on first days at a new school is part of a long standing agreement. It acknowledges legitimate public interest in the Heir's family whilst ensuring children can be children and have a private life. No one is demanding photos of the children of minor royals going to school and the UK press wouldn't print them even if someone took a snap.

KnickerlessParsons · 28/08/2026 07:48

TheHatTrick · 28/08/2026 00:09

I was trying to remember exactly what it was Meghan said about paparazzi at the school gates to Allison Davis in her interview for The Cut. It seemed rather critical at the time.

Based on what I see/don’t see in the media in general, I think UK is more protective of children’s privacy than they are in US.

If the Daily Mail doesn’t publish where they’re living and where the kids are going to school soon, then a deal
MUST have been done, surely. Inless the kids never leave the house or they’re all sheltering at Althorp.

Filoparcels017 · 28/08/2026 02:32

Blueandwhitestripey · 27/08/2026 23:46

Yeah I’m too late to vote but OP is not YANBU and it’s nice to see the vote went that way too. Horrible some of the comments about her! She may be nice she may not be but we don’t know her and the constant scrutiny and attacks are too much. I don’t even agree with royals to begin with but no one should be treated like this

Couldn’t agree more Blueandwhitestripey

I’m also pleased by the results of the poll op.

Sanity has been restored.

TheHatTrick · 28/08/2026 00:09

KnickerlessParsons · 27/08/2026 23:42

I wonder this. I’m amazed no one has ever taken a photo of the kids when they are out and about eg Disneyland and put on FB, let alone selling it to the press.

I was trying to remember exactly what it was Meghan said about paparazzi at the school gates to Allison Davis in her interview for The Cut. It seemed rather critical at the time.

Based on what I see/don’t see in the media in general, I think UK is more protective of children’s privacy than they are in US.

Blueandwhitestripey · 27/08/2026 23:46

Filoparcels017 · 20/08/2026 22:38

Totally agree with this and totally agree with you op!

It’s quite refreshing to have different views aired on this site about H and M
for a change!

Yeah I’m too late to vote but OP is not YANBU and it’s nice to see the vote went that way too. Horrible some of the comments about her! She may be nice she may not be but we don’t know her and the constant scrutiny and attacks are too much. I don’t even agree with royals to begin with but no one should be treated like this

Crispynoodle · 27/08/2026 23:43

💯 agree but I sincerely hope they dodge the limelight for a year or two

KnickerlessParsons · 27/08/2026 23:42

Bunnycat101 · 27/08/2026 21:10

I think it has been bizarre how their return has been covered. There was a news article saying they’d landed. Honestly there should be no coverage of this sort of stuff and it does make me question the security concerns when someone on their team is leaking their movements to the press.

I also wonder how on earth they will manage schooling. There seems to be a web of silence around the Cambridge kids. I’ve never seen someone release a photo of one of them at a party or a football match but by all accounts they’ve had fairly normal ish experiences. I’m not sure if the same will be extended to Harry’s children if he also is more prolific re media.

I wonder this. I’m amazed no one has ever taken a photo of the kids when they are out and about eg Disneyland and put on FB, let alone selling it to the press.

Hardware252525252525 · 27/08/2026 22:47

HelenaWilson · 27/08/2026 22:02

Charles only has two Royal cousins - Linley and Chatto. If there are another 20 then they must be through Philip’s side.

David Linley and Sarah Chatto aren't royal - they haven't got royal titles.

There are the more distant cousins, the Kents/Ogilvys and the Gloucesters, but other than the two Dukes and Prince Michael and Princess Alexandra, they aren't royal.

They are not entitled to be styled prince and princess, as they would have been if Margaret had been a man, but they are very much still members of the Royal Family - and therefore royal - and the only two cousins of Charles who do belong the Royal Family.

OP posts:
HelenaWilson · 27/08/2026 22:02

Charles only has two Royal cousins - Linley and Chatto. If there are another 20 then they must be through Philip’s side.

David Linley and Sarah Chatto aren't royal - they haven't got royal titles.

There are the more distant cousins, the Kents/Ogilvys and the Gloucesters, but other than the two Dukes and Prince Michael and Princess Alexandra, they aren't royal.

Hardware252525252525 · 27/08/2026 21:16

CathyorClaire · 27/08/2026 20:16

It’s quite a recent trend to streamline the Royal Family and discard the monarch’s cousins/expect princesses and princes not to use their titles.

O/T but I was only aware of Linley and Chatto (who to their credit have managed to live quiet - albeit in the case of Linley slightly colourful lives) as king cousins.

Google advises me there are 20 more!

Probably for the best they have been edited out streamlined even if only for the sake of the aging BP balcony.

Edited

Charles only has two Royal cousins - Linley and Chatto. If there are another 20 then they must be through Philip’s side.

OP posts:
Bunnycat101 · 27/08/2026 21:10

I think it has been bizarre how their return has been covered. There was a news article saying they’d landed. Honestly there should be no coverage of this sort of stuff and it does make me question the security concerns when someone on their team is leaking their movements to the press.

I also wonder how on earth they will manage schooling. There seems to be a web of silence around the Cambridge kids. I’ve never seen someone release a photo of one of them at a party or a football match but by all accounts they’ve had fairly normal ish experiences. I’m not sure if the same will be extended to Harry’s children if he also is more prolific re media.

TheCoolTiger · 27/08/2026 20:59

TooBigForMyBoots · 20/08/2026 22:20

YANBU @Hardware252525252525. The level of hatred of this woman and her family is deranged.🤯

Bit like her level of hate for her own father, Kate (while going through cancer) and most of her own employees (buried bullying report…)

CathyorClaire · 27/08/2026 20:46

HelenaWilson · 27/08/2026 20:28

The only royals who are entitled to be called princess and prince, who don't use the titles, are Edward and Sophie's children. They had the option of deciding for themselves when they turned 18. Unfortunately for Lady Louise she turned 18 around the time someone else was kicking up a stink about her children not having royal titles, so even if she'd wanted to, it was probably decided better not.

James still retains the nonsensical hereditary baubles earldom and sundry others regardless.

I hope he too decides it's much for the better not to press them.

Messedupmyusernameagain · 27/08/2026 20:32

rocklivia · 27/08/2026 16:50

But Anne and Edward are still an integral part of the RF ? They haven't been shunted aside. Harry CHOSE to leave. He made himself a spare part.

But their children aren't. This seems to have been a problem for Andrew and Harry. The ones who are sensible and keep their kids well away from the family business do OK which should tell it's own story. The problem is the ones who don't are the ones who insist on titles and houses and keeping them in the 'in ' crowd. The rules need to deal with these types. Don't give them a choice. No one knows how the kids are going to turn out so it's best to say only the adults do Royal stuff, the kids wave and walk on on the way to church but that's it. Then no titles for anyone but the eldest child when they are adults. No one really saw a Edwards kids DS until they were 18. They are everywhere now but they are going their own way. I'm not sure how many people are going to be that bothered about seeing a 60 year old Prince Louis open a supermarket by the time George is King.

HelenaWilson · 27/08/2026 20:28

The only royals who are entitled to be called princess and prince, who don't use the titles, are Edward and Sophie's children. They had the option of deciding for themselves when they turned 18. Unfortunately for Lady Louise she turned 18 around the time someone else was kicking up a stink about her children not having royal titles, so even if she'd wanted to, it was probably decided better not.

CathyorClaire · 27/08/2026 20:16

It’s quite a recent trend to streamline the Royal Family and discard the monarch’s cousins/expect princesses and princes not to use their titles.

O/T but I was only aware of Linley and Chatto (who to their credit have managed to live quiet - albeit in the case of Linley slightly colourful lives) as king cousins.

Google advises me there are 20 more!

Probably for the best they have been edited out streamlined even if only for the sake of the aging BP balcony.

HelenaWilson · 27/08/2026 17:41

Either way, he’s clearly struggled with his kids being demoted to bit players

His children have identities of their own separate to being members of the RF. He should be encouraging them to develop their own personalities and talents, not focusing on their role, or lack of it, in the RF. Take David Linley (as he is known professionally) or Zara Phillips/Tindall as role models.

Hardware252525252525 · 27/08/2026 17:24

rocklivia · 27/08/2026 16:50

But Anne and Edward are still an integral part of the RF ? They haven't been shunted aside. Harry CHOSE to leave. He made himself a spare part.

I think it seems like it’s more about the kids for Harry. It’s never been clear to me whether he understood why his children were not princes and princesses whilst William’s were, and didn’t explain it to Meghan, or whether he doesn’t understand how his own family businsss works.

Either way, he’s clearly struggled with his kids being demoted to bit players whilst William’s kids have his childhood.

OP posts:
HelenaWilson · 27/08/2026 17:03

But Anne and Edward are still an integral part of the RF ? They haven't been shunted aside. Harry CHOSE to leave. He made himself a spare part.

H&M were given major Commonwealth roles, which was a tremendous compliment from TLQ, considering how important the Commonwealth was to her, and which they could have done a lot with. They chose to give them up.

(At the time I still quite liked them and remember being pleased on their behalf that they'd been given something they could work at and make their own.)

rocklivia · 27/08/2026 16:50

Messedupmyusernameagain · 27/08/2026 16:39

I think this is why the children shouldn't be exposed like they are at all. They don't need to be trained from birth to do something that, no matter what they say, isn't that onerous and something that people like Kate and Sophie have managed to do, most of the time to a much higher standard after marrying in. The younger ones should be told from very young that they are not ' spare parts' but have the opportunity to forge a life for themselves. Anne and Edward always knew they were well out of it. The Royal system, the kow towing and deference does them no favours when they get unceremoniously dumped with no role in their adult lives. I suspect after all the pR about how the Wales kids are going to be different, it will be exactly the same for them. They are already paraded around and shoved in front of some unhinged strangers for the good of the Monarchy. Then after having every childhood Christmas morning spent being pawed by strangers they will also be surplus to requirements and having to go to big brother for cash well into their dotage.

But Anne and Edward are still an integral part of the RF ? They haven't been shunted aside. Harry CHOSE to leave. He made himself a spare part.

Messedupmyusernameagain · 27/08/2026 16:39

Hardware252525252525 · 27/08/2026 15:28

I wouldn’t put Andrew in the same group as Margaret or Harry to be fair to them. I don’t think abusing women can ever be explained away by childhood experiences.

The Queen’s father was never displaced by nieces and nephews - he always remained ‘important’ and close to the throne, as did his children. His brothers’ children were born prince and princesses, and there was no question that they wouldn’t use their titles. Their children were working members of the Royal Family.

It’s quite a recent trend to streamline the Royal Family and discard the monarch’s cousins/expect princesses and princes not to use their titles. I don’t think it’s wrong, but I do think it must be difficult to get used to - going from the core Royal Family to being a bit player, and your children completely removed from working in the ‘business’ whilst your sibling’s children follow a very different path.

But I take your point that it depends on an individual’s character too as to whether their children being growing up with royal trappings would be desirable.

I think this is why the children shouldn't be exposed like they are at all. They don't need to be trained from birth to do something that, no matter what they say, isn't that onerous and something that people like Kate and Sophie have managed to do, most of the time to a much higher standard after marrying in. The younger ones should be told from very young that they are not ' spare parts' but have the opportunity to forge a life for themselves. Anne and Edward always knew they were well out of it. The Royal system, the kow towing and deference does them no favours when they get unceremoniously dumped with no role in their adult lives. I suspect after all the pR about how the Wales kids are going to be different, it will be exactly the same for them. They are already paraded around and shoved in front of some unhinged strangers for the good of the Monarchy. Then after having every childhood Christmas morning spent being pawed by strangers they will also be surplus to requirements and having to go to big brother for cash well into their dotage.

MrsLeonFarrell · 27/08/2026 15:45

Hardware252525252525 · 27/08/2026 15:28

I wouldn’t put Andrew in the same group as Margaret or Harry to be fair to them. I don’t think abusing women can ever be explained away by childhood experiences.

The Queen’s father was never displaced by nieces and nephews - he always remained ‘important’ and close to the throne, as did his children. His brothers’ children were born prince and princesses, and there was no question that they wouldn’t use their titles. Their children were working members of the Royal Family.

It’s quite a recent trend to streamline the Royal Family and discard the monarch’s cousins/expect princesses and princes not to use their titles. I don’t think it’s wrong, but I do think it must be difficult to get used to - going from the core Royal Family to being a bit player, and your children completely removed from working in the ‘business’ whilst your sibling’s children follow a very different path.

But I take your point that it depends on an individual’s character too as to whether their children being growing up with royal trappings would be desirable.

I agree Andrew isn't in the same category as his siblings, shouldn't have mentioned him in the same sentence. Uncle David seemed pretty unsavoury though maybe not in the same way. Power and status really does corrupt doesn't it

Hardware252525252525 · 27/08/2026 15:28

MrsLeonFarrell · 27/08/2026 14:27

For every Margaret and Andrew, you have Anne and Edward. Then we consider the late Queen's Father, the spare who was a better monarch than the flighty heir. I don't think it's easy to blame one thing, humans are too complex.

I wouldn’t put Andrew in the same group as Margaret or Harry to be fair to them. I don’t think abusing women can ever be explained away by childhood experiences.

The Queen’s father was never displaced by nieces and nephews - he always remained ‘important’ and close to the throne, as did his children. His brothers’ children were born prince and princesses, and there was no question that they wouldn’t use their titles. Their children were working members of the Royal Family.

It’s quite a recent trend to streamline the Royal Family and discard the monarch’s cousins/expect princesses and princes not to use their titles. I don’t think it’s wrong, but I do think it must be difficult to get used to - going from the core Royal Family to being a bit player, and your children completely removed from working in the ‘business’ whilst your sibling’s children follow a very different path.

But I take your point that it depends on an individual’s character too as to whether their children being growing up with royal trappings would be desirable.

OP posts:
paomara · 27/08/2026 14:40

With a bit of luck we won't hear much about ANY of them until around Christmas. Then wow at the Winter coloured coats, the twinkling lights and candles in the Cathedral and then back to normal after the trundle up the avenue to church for the morons who give the kids selection boxes.

You could not make it up about this gang. They are a high profile very wealthy family, just like many others that live in Britain. Difference is, we pay for a lot of it, whereas other wealthy individuals earned it and keep their heads down.

I hope HaM are happy and content in their new life here. May there be no arguments, sibling rivalry, hissy fits and so on, and may they all reconcile and enjoy being one big happy rich family again.

MrsLeonFarrell · 27/08/2026 14:27

Hardware252525252525 · 27/08/2026 14:10

Princess Margaret springs to mind.

I think it must be difficult for them. They spend half of their life being told that they belong to the main, important branch of the Royal Family and are greatly more important than the other relatives, the ‘hangers on’.

Then their siblings marries and has children and suddenly they and their children become the ‘hangers on’, and everyone says they need to get proper jobs and not use their titles and royal connections.

It will be the same for Charlotte and Louis. They are very much now considered key members of the Royal Family. Respectable, top tier royals. By the time George is the monarch and he has children, Charlotte and Louis will have been downgraded in the eyes of the public, their children will be called ‘hangers on’, and the only real, proper royals will be George and his children. Until his eldest has kids and the process repeats.

For every Margaret and Andrew, you have Anne and Edward. Then we consider the late Queen's Father, the spare who was a better monarch than the flighty heir. I don't think it's easy to blame one thing, humans are too complex.