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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to find a group of small boys just chatting at the playground unusual?

161 replies

ShedShedShed · 20/08/2026 21:41

We go to the local playground most days, and observe the kids generally and know some dog them etc.
What stands out to me is a little group of boys 6,6,6 and 8. They always just stand around talking. Occasionally will sit on swings and chat. Never seem to actually play unless and adult leads them in something like hide and seek or chase. It's like they're teenagers but without the larking around 13 year olds do between chatting.
It's bizarre to me, my DS is 7 and plays with others, racing, helping on monkey bars, playing pirates, football by himself or with others. This group he doesn't play with because they just want to stand around talking about whatever it is they talk about.

Is this usual behaviour you'd expect?

OP posts:
Original poster
ShedShedShed · 20/08/2026 22:29

Itsa10fromLen · 20/08/2026 22:24

OP wanted to boast about how well her own kid plays and it backfired massively 😂 if lots of people are telling you you’re weird OP then you’re probably weird!

My kids have played every game under the sun with me, I’ve modelled how to play, how to take turns, how to initiate etc. I’m literally post grad educated in childcare and when we go to the park my kids chat to their friends and that’s just fine. Your kid is also fine but not better.

No.

.I just was asking if it was unusual and all this attacking me shows that, yes it is unusual. Nothing wrong with it, but definitely unusual...

OP posts:
Slowlorissa · 20/08/2026 22:29

ShedShedShed · 20/08/2026 22:27

Who said they shouldn't? Not me. I'm just curious as to whether it unusual...which it clearly is.

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Literally no-one on this thread has said it’s unusual. Everyone has said it’s normal.

You remind me of those mums who insist that ‘all kids’ are feral when it’s actually their kids…

use92438567 · 20/08/2026 22:28

ShedShedShed · 20/08/2026 22:27

Who said they shouldn't? Not me. I'm just curious as to whether it unusual...which it clearly is.

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What makes you think it's unusual? The replies you're getting clearly seem to indicate it isn't.

Megifer · 20/08/2026 22:28

ShedShedShed · 20/08/2026 22:26

So yes. It's clearly unusual that 6 year olds stand around chatting instead of playing in the playground.

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I think you've quoted me by accident there.

Original poster
ShedShedShed · 20/08/2026 22:27

Slowlorissa · 20/08/2026 22:27

op if you’re concerned about your own child speak to the school and see what they say about his ability to be calm and socialise and chat.

Ha ha.

OP posts:
Original poster
ShedShedShed · 20/08/2026 22:27

OrangeFlower14 · 20/08/2026 22:26

That’s nice. Why shouldn’t they chat?

Who said they shouldn't? Not me. I'm just curious as to whether it unusual...which it clearly is.

OP posts:
Slowlorissa · 20/08/2026 22:27

op if you’re concerned about your own child speak to the school and see what they say about his ability to be calm and socialise and chat.

TheFairyCaravan · 20/08/2026 22:27

DS1 used to stand around chatting to his friends for ages. He was that age way before iPads came out. He could play without adult direction, and he did, but he also liked a chat. He’s a very old soul, always has been.

I, also, agree with a PP that no one would bat an eyelid if a group of little girls was standing around having a chat with their friends.

Original poster
ShedShedShed · 20/08/2026 22:26

Lemonandlimetrees · 20/08/2026 22:25

Are you sure they're not playing? At that age my two and another boy used to spend hours playing an imaginary game that seemed to involve making up fantastical stories together. They would have looked like they were chatting and might have stopped to join in some other game that an adult persuaded them to join, but would have then gone back to their imaginary adventure.

Perhaps.

OP posts:
Tiptopflipflop · 20/08/2026 22:26

Teamrabbit · 20/08/2026 21:44

iPad kids!

What makes you assume that? My six year old has never used a tablet, and has very limited screen time. But he loves conversations and gravitates towards other kids who are the same. He'd much prefer to stand around and have a chat than run around or climb on things. He's an old soul and has no interest in typical playground antics. He's been like this since he was a toddler.

OrangeFlower14 · 20/08/2026 22:26

That’s nice. Why shouldn’t they chat?

Original poster
ShedShedShed · 20/08/2026 22:26

Megifer · 20/08/2026 22:25

Yea sorry I dont know the answer. I didnt really take much notice of the type of fun other children were having to ensure I approved of it.

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So yes. It's clearly unusual that 6 year olds stand around chatting instead of playing in the playground.

OP posts:
Daysgo · 20/08/2026 22:26

They are probably discussing the rules of the game they'll play, when the rules are agreed!

Lemonandlimetrees · 20/08/2026 22:25

Are you sure they're not playing? At that age my two and another boy used to spend hours playing an imaginary game that seemed to involve making up fantastical stories together. They would have looked like they were chatting and might have stopped to join in some other game that an adult persuaded them to join, but would have then gone back to their imaginary adventure.

Original poster
ShedShedShed · 20/08/2026 22:25

Slowlorissa · 20/08/2026 22:24

Exactly. Op, if we were to ‘judge’ your child at their chatting and socialising skills how would they score.

Leave other kids alone

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He's fine thanks.

I just was wondering if it's unusual...and it clearly is....

OP posts:
Megifer · 20/08/2026 22:25

ShedShedShed · 20/08/2026 22:17

I just find it unusual.

I was just wondering if this was common elsewhere and if they're are a minority at that age it not.

No-one seems to have answered this,. just decided that I'm being judgemental. Which I guess I am, but I just wondered...

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Yea sorry I dont know the answer. I didnt really take much notice of the type of fun other children were having to ensure I approved of it.

OliveIsHereAgain · 20/08/2026 22:25

Sounds lovely to me. They don't need to be told how to play. They've decided they want to chat so are a group of sweet boys who don't need to prove anything to anyone else. At least they're not all sitting on their phone. Which is unlike most adults these days.

Original poster
ShedShedShed · 20/08/2026 22:25

Slowlorissa · 20/08/2026 22:23

You want us to congratulate you that your child runs around and other kids prefer to chat? What a bizarre post.

No.

I'mjust asking if it unusual.... We go to the same playground, do have no other frame of reference.

I can only assume it is unusual as nobody has actually said so.

OP posts:
Slowlorissa · 20/08/2026 22:24

99bottlesofkombucha · 20/08/2026 22:20

6 year old boys are much more likely to need help having a conversation than they are running around. My socially awkward child jumps into ball games because that’s easy.

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Exactly. Op, if we were to ‘judge’ your child at their chatting and socialising skills how would they score.

Leave other kids alone

Itsa10fromLen · 20/08/2026 22:24

OP wanted to boast about how well her own kid plays and it backfired massively 😂 if lots of people are telling you you’re weird OP then you’re probably weird!

My kids have played every game under the sun with me, I’ve modelled how to play, how to take turns, how to initiate etc. I’m literally post grad educated in childcare and when we go to the park my kids chat to their friends and that’s just fine. Your kid is also fine but not better.

sittingonabeach · 20/08/2026 22:24

@ShedShedShed does your DS have the social skills to sit and chat with his peers?

BlackCat14 · 20/08/2026 22:23

I’m a primary school teacher and do break duty twice a week. It’s very normal. Some children play on the equipment, others play their own imaginary games, some do gymnastics, some stand and chat, some sit and chat, some chat to the adults. Children are different and enjoy different things, it’s not unusual at all. I also don’t know why this has piqued your interest so much?

Slowlorissa · 20/08/2026 22:23

You want us to congratulate you that your child runs around and other kids prefer to chat? What a bizarre post.

99bottlesofkombucha · 20/08/2026 22:20

ShedShedShed · 20/08/2026 21:53

Because it seems unusual for 6 year olds not to play on a playground and seemingly not know how to play with out an adult directing them.

If a parent sets up a game like hide and seek, they play enthusiastically enough, but just don't seem to know how to self direct the play? It's like they're waiting for someone to tell them?

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Or it’s like… that they want to chat.

HorseandHeron · 20/08/2026 22:20

OP, You must be aware that not everyone is alike and that the world needs humans with diverse skills and interests. I think it is sweet that they stand and chat. If they were glued to phones and not communicating I'd worry. But standing around having conversations - that's a good thing.