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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this level of bill splitting normal?

250 replies

Tightdp · 20/08/2026 21:10

Renting with DP. We don’t pool wages so split our food shops. I’m happy with a rough estimate , he insists on going item by item on the recipes so it’s fair. I feel like he’s taking it too far now though. Some examples from the past week (we do 2/3 medium size shops a week rather than one big one):

-him thinking he’ll eat an extra bag of crisps than me so paying like 30p extra
-I only have weetabix occasionally so I had to pay about 20% of the total
-from tonight and what prompted me to post - I’ve had a stomach bug which I’m struggling to shift so I had to pay a higher % towards the loo roll.

This isn’t normal, surely!? He earns well and has no reason to worry about money.

OP posts:
menopausequeen · 21/08/2026 06:10

Not normal.

TulipCat · 21/08/2026 05:47

He is a penny pinching tightarse. It's such an unattractive quality. Sometimes moving in with someone shows you who they are - good that you have seen this before you're in too deep. Move back out and dump him.

babyproblems · 21/08/2026 05:46

Not normal. This won’t get better.

I know a couple where the man started keeping a list of everything she ‘owed’ him.
It’s abusive.

Be very very cautious- I’d expect this to escalate and for him to be controlling at best as time goes on.

op he doesn’t see you as his partner. Xxx

Btc76 · 21/08/2026 05:30

He is odd and obsessive, but you picked him, honey.

Very likely he works as an accountant or similar. They are ALL like this in my experience. But like I saidsaid, you picked him. He sounds like a dullard’s dullard

dreamingofgoodhair · 21/08/2026 04:44

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Wow 😯

CheeryOP · 21/08/2026 03:36

It's not normal. I couldn't live like that.

ChristinaPaigeDoesNotApprove · 21/08/2026 03:29

Tightdp · 20/08/2026 21:38

He’s not known me when it has been my birthday yet so I’ll find out next month..he hasn’t mentioned any plans for it yet.

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FFS

tamade · 21/08/2026 02:00

Tightdp · 20/08/2026 21:17

They are all equal, we haven’t lived together for long.

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Good, you haven't invested too much time on this weirdo. Move out problem solved.

I wouldn't consider continuing a relationship, this level of obsession/pettiness indicates that there is something seriously amiss deep down in the nuts and bolts of what makes him tic

PinkyFlamingo · 21/08/2026 01:28

Tightdp · 20/08/2026 21:17

They are all equal, we haven’t lived together for long.

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You can't live like this. Just no.

LizandDerekGoals · 21/08/2026 01:26

Op, you tried it and it doesnt work. You dont then go on to marry and have children with him. You end it as his behaviour is controlling obsessive and intrusive. You fo nit stay with him!

Franjipanl8r · 21/08/2026 01:22

You’re going to get the ick with this man, it’s only a matter of time.

Cora0 · 21/08/2026 01:11

Oh god, she’s going to stay with him isn’t she? Her responses are so flippant and unconcerned.

Just remember, OP, when you’re funding your own maternity leave and paying 100% of the baby’s costs while also having to pay your 50% of everything else, that there were massive red flags. And the first one was him never wanting to treat you. He’s not going to change. You’re not going to get him to “trust” you and loosen up with money. As far as he’s concerned, you’re there to pay half of his costs and save him money. Why do you think he wanted you to move in with him so early? That kind of avarice isn’t going to turn into anything other than financial abuse.

Franjipanl8r · 21/08/2026 01:08

I’ve had a stomach bug which I’m struggling to shift so I had to pay a higher % towards the loo roll.

That is hands down the craziest thing I’ve ever read on MN 🤣🤣🤣 Did he have his ear to the toilet door counting the number of times he heard you tear off the loo roll!!?? He’s taken being miserly to a whole new level!

TrishM80 · 21/08/2026 00:43

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aintnothinbutagstring · 21/08/2026 00:41

Is there men that actually behave like this and still walk round like 'bitch, I'm the prize'... because I dont know how they wouldn't be severely embarassed.

ClairDeLaLune · 21/08/2026 00:35

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 20/08/2026 21:17

Oh no, don't through him back, someone else might get him.

The only solution is patio the bastard but not before he pays you half for the shovel and patio material...

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😂😂😂

thisismeithinkorisit · 21/08/2026 00:33

Silverbirchleaf · 20/08/2026 21:45

You’ve been together for less than a year and have moved in together? Way too fast. I noticed he suggested it. Do you do all the cooking, cleaning etc and if so, I hope he lays for it?

I’m hoping this is a troll thread. If not, you moved in quickly. Time to move out.

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Ioved in with DH after knowing him 4 months. it only seems too soon for op in retrospect because of this he issue.

op given he's willing to pay extra when he does something so it's not just a way to take money from you, I'd have a chat
maybe he thinks he's being fair. maybe he grew up in a house where he was made to feel he had to account for every detail of his existence.

tell him you are not doing this 3 times a week after every shop. you both put X into a pot every week and you use it for the shopping. sometimes he'll eat more crisps, but it's ok. sometimes you'll use more loo roll, it's ok. and if he demands you pay him 80p extractor tried to give you 32p extra I'd refuse and hold firm

doosesmarket · 21/08/2026 00:28

Is your DP my ex? He was exactly like this. Get rid, life’s too short for number obsessed men who see you 2 very separate people rather than as a unit

Anonyanonay · 21/08/2026 00:24

I nearly voted YABU because why the fuck are you living like this?

OneFineDay22 · 21/08/2026 00:20

DancyNancy · 21/08/2026 00:16

He surely uses at least twice as much toilet roll than you being so anal

Good one!

DancyNancy · 21/08/2026 00:16

He surely uses at least twice as much toilet roll than you being so anal

keepcounsel · 21/08/2026 00:15

Tightdp · 20/08/2026 21:10

Renting with DP. We don’t pool wages so split our food shops. I’m happy with a rough estimate , he insists on going item by item on the recipes so it’s fair. I feel like he’s taking it too far now though. Some examples from the past week (we do 2/3 medium size shops a week rather than one big one):

-him thinking he’ll eat an extra bag of crisps than me so paying like 30p extra
-I only have weetabix occasionally so I had to pay about 20% of the total
-from tonight and what prompted me to post - I’ve had a stomach bug which I’m struggling to shift so I had to pay a higher % towards the loo roll.

This isn’t normal, surely!? He earns well and has no reason to worry about money.

Good lord - Get Out. What a nightmare.

RosesAndHellebores · 21/08/2026 00:05

What's it like sleeping with a frog, or haven't you kissed yet?

@Tightdp meanness is ugly, miserable and unkind. Please do not stay with or have children with this man. He'll expect you to surrender your mat pay/child benefit if you put the heating on in the daytime when he's at work.

To count sheets of bog roll is a warm up towards financial abuse.

What would he do if you said "no" or laughed at him? If doing so makes you uncomfortable or to worry about the relationship - you need to run as far away as possible.

MidnightMeltdown · 21/08/2026 00:03

🤣🤣🤣

Does he work for the Treasury? Implementing toilet roll tax for having a stomach bug?

Seriously, this must be some form of neurodiversity. OCD? Autism? I’m suprised that you haven’t noticed any other odd behaviours.

Viviennemary · 21/08/2026 00:01

Utter nutcase.