To increasingly feel like men are more of a hindrance than anything else

Andrew Tate wasn't created by Mumsnet.

Yes, a lot of these 'all men are shit' threads go very much into the exact same mindset that the incels do the other way around; but it's often a self-fulfilling prophecy whereby this will be angrily denied and deflected - because of the assured assumption that men are bad and women are good, which is then somehow 'proof' and 'justification' for their deeply concerning opinions.

Nobody is forcing you to have a relationship with anybody, if you don't want to; or even to have anything at all to do with any group/class of people whom you believe to be inherently objectionable above a very basic level of civility where unavoidable.

My DH is calmer than me, and probably the better parent. That's why I married him, because he is capable, calm and kind. I have a volatile dad and I was NEVER putting up with an ounce of that crap from a partner.
However on here reading the absolute horror that women on MN have put up with often has me fuming. I think these men should never gotten married, definitely shouldn't have had children. I wonder if it was hoped they would mature into better men? I remember hearing my MIL telling her daughter that her partner will mature with marriage and step up when they had kids and I thought NO HE FUCKING WON'T! Nope, he still is exactly who he always was.
I hope the days of women grinning and bearing is over with the newer generation because I shudder to think of my DD tolerating this behaviour for the great honour of having a man at home.
Men do this because women tolerate it and have tolerated it forever.

Saying all men are shit is feeding the influence that Andrew Tate and his like have on young males

How on earth can you possibly know, unless you've lived at close quarters with every single man you've ever met?

Frankly when you start having to result to a tirade of insults in your post like 'weaselling out', 'lazy' , 'petty', 'pathetic' and whatever else you want to call me and saying that I am 'playing the victim card' you have already lost the argument.

This is the type of language that bullies use. Not reasonable adults having a debate and expressing different opinions.

Interesting thread. I work in a very male dominated industry (investment banking) and the most sexist person I’ve ever worked for was a woman. She’d chosen to prioritise her career over having DC (a personal and valid choice), and took real exception to the fact I chose to have DC and accept that meant I would never make ‘Managing Director’ level. I was, and remain very comfortable with that decision. The men I worked (and still work with), were huge cheerleaders of my trying to do both, in an industry where women generally left after having DC. When I had DC2, my male boss really went into bat for me going PT for a while, which had never happened at my bank. He had promoted me whilst I was on mat leave.

DH is late 50’s and grew up with a working mum and SAHD, which was really unusual in the 70’s. He’s subsequently become a husband/father who is completely hands on. Given my long hours, he deals with most of the stuff at home - l get home around 8.30pm to a clean house, home cooked meal, laundry done, kids ferried about. He’s brilliant. DS is therefore learning that it’s completely normal for men to pull their weight at home. DD also thinks it’s completely normal for men to cook/clean, and generally, all adults do whatever jobs need doing at home.

I’m not naive to the fact it’s generally men who commit violent crimes, have egos the size of a planet and will put their own needs ahead of anyone else’s. I suspect I got lucky with DH because his mum is an incredible woman who wouldn’t tolerate any bullshit from her husband or son. I’m incredibly grateful to her and hope I do as good a job with DS, as she did with DH.

I've noticed that too.

"As he ages, my husband has become more and more of a grumpy old sod."
"The menopause has given me a superpower -- I have no more fucks to give! It's great."

Spot the difference.

I’m sorry but you ARE responsible for your choice of partner.

And there ARE millions of amazing men out there.

These are just facts 🤷‍♀️

I have met a few men described as "wonderful" and "amazing" and "does soo much". In reality, when you observed with a critical eye, they still did far less than their wives and, if they were women, they would not be praised for doing basic shit.

I’m sure there are lots of lovely kind men in the world but I unfortunately haven’t been lucky enough to have had a relationship with one (excluding my son).

Women are hard work too though - I remember thinking when I was younger I was glad I wasn’t a lesbian because men are far more straightforward to deal
with.

That said from Mumsnet I have learned that there are lots of really horrible men out there. My own dad and husband are great (if occasionally angry!) and my life is immeasurably better for them being in it.

And I have no doubt whatsoever that you would read such a thread and just think to yourself "oh well, it's not my place to respond" 🙄

And many out there different. What was your point again?

You're calling them liars? Interesting. Ain't just a river in Egypt...

Im 100% sick of them and Im never having another one.

Then I’m so sorry you find yourself with an awful one 🤷‍♀️

Which rather suggests it’s quite an important topic.

This oft repeated thread is peak Mumsnet

I love my boy, I love my dad and I'm very fond of my male friends but I wouldn't live with one I haven't birthed again.

I have been unfortunate to have two truly awful men in my life: my father and my now exH. They have been emotionally abusive / neglectful, selfish beyond belief, coercive, manipulative and cruel and narcisistic. They have gas lighted me, financially ruined me amd caused untold lasting damage to my self esteem.

However, the good men in my life outnumber those two excuses for men: my wonderful son (a role model to his siblings & nephews) who lights up the room & has the most wholesome heart; my current partner who is the love of my life - generosity and kindness personified and has never raised his voice, lost his temper or been unkind to me or anyone else I know; my son in law - the best father my grandsons could wish for & who is a lovely husband to my daughter & brother-in-law to my other DCs. There are other fabulous men in my life, but you get the picture.