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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To increasingly feel like men are more of a hindrance than anything else

189 replies

Windiscrazytoday · 20/08/2026 16:43

They are responsible for so many evils in the world in comparison to females
The females I know are just so much more capable and emotionally stable
I love Dh but often find myself helping him to regulate his emotions or balancing things on days out to keep the mood good for the Dc
My father, I adore, but my mother's life has not been easy with him in many aspects

Is this a peri/late 40's thing?

Feel like I'm seeing how things really are and it isn't great

OP posts:
Itsa10fromLen · 20/08/2026 22:10

Weeellokthen · 20/08/2026 17:29

"Very few men are decent human beings"😮
I am so sorry YOU have experienced shitty men in your life.
I choose only good men in mine

Victim blaming language tbh. Most women don’t choose shitty men, they are born to them and are often tricked into marrying them.

DollydaydreamTheThird · 20/08/2026 22:10

UniquePinkSwan · 20/08/2026 17:02

Is this the weekly man hating thread?

Weekly isn't often enough in my opinion🤣

Windiscrazytoday · 20/08/2026 22:09

Thepossibility · 20/08/2026 20:48

My DH is calmer than me, and probably the better parent. That's why I married him, because he is capable, calm and kind. I have a volatile dad and I was NEVER putting up with an ounce of that crap from a partner.
However on here reading the absolute horror that women on MN have put up with often has me fuming. I think these men should never gotten married, definitely shouldn't have had children. I wonder if it was hoped they would mature into better men? I remember hearing my MIL telling her daughter that her partner will mature with marriage and step up when they had kids and I thought NO HE FUCKING WON'T! Nope, he still is exactly who he always was.
I hope the days of women grinning and bearing is over with the newer generation because I shudder to think of my DD tolerating this behaviour for the great honour of having a man at home.
Men do this because women tolerate it and have tolerated it forever.

But again, this puts the onus back on women, instead of the men just stepping up and not being like that in the first place. Can't you see that? Women should support one another, surely

OP posts:
Franxi · 20/08/2026 22:08

PrettyLittleRose · 20/08/2026 21:59

And all those men are........

Created by women. Raised by women. Shaped by women. Loved by women. Nurtured by women. Blossomed because of women. Had their careers because of women. Successful because of women. Exist because of women.

ALSO, as has been said, many women will be involved in all of the things you mention too. And some men will NOT ever be involved in any of that!

Oh, and women can read and write and spell too, and the REALLY clever ones can even count to 50! 😂

I agree with a pp, that word salad your Eastern European friend sent you is so cringeworthy. It's actually a bit embarrassing. I can't believe you actually thought this would serve as some kind of GOTCHA! 😆

.

Edited

I misunderstood too! I didn’t realise the poster said it was a joke! Now I’m looking at it, it’s obviously a joke. A normal person couldn’t possibly believe that was a factual description of how the world works. I work in an industry that covers most of the jobs that person describes so I know first hand that’s a very black and white way of looking at things. I could describe the same stuff in a way (that’s factually true), that men do all the unintelligent grunt work and all the women do the clever maths and engineering bits, the planning, the project management, the physics, chemistry, etc. But, despite it being factually true in my industry and company, it’s not a true reflection of the complex world we are living in.

Well, I’m giving the poster the benefit of the doubt by saying it’s a joke. Otherwise they’re a bit thick!!

Livpool · 20/08/2026 22:08

risingup · 20/08/2026 17:17

YANBU I will never live with a man again because it honestly feels like having an additional part time job that you don't get paid for.

So I have to throw my husband AND 10 year old son out?!

Beansandsprouts · 20/08/2026 22:07

The post is so beneath expending energy on because it’s so very silly. Astounded that someone wrote that.

The only semi correct part is hard physical labour, and women are heavily involved in that too, especially agriculture. Speechless

PrettyLittleRose · 20/08/2026 21:59

HollyhocksandPeons · 20/08/2026 21:40

A friend from Eastern Europe, where I am gold, they still have real men, sent this to me:

A woman got up in the morning, turned on the lights supplied by a power grid laid by men from a power plant operated by men, and poured hot water—heated with gas extracted by men—through plumbing installed by men over her coffee.
The coffee had been brought by plane, flown by men from plantations cultivated by men, along with a bun made from wheat planted and harvested by men, transported by men to shops built by men.
She pressed a button on a computer assembled by men and invented by men, and using software created by men, went onto the internet created by men, and typed, using letters from an alphabet created by men:
I’m an independent woman. Why would I need these losers?

And all those men are........

Created by women. Raised by women. Shaped by women. Loved by women. Nurtured by women. Blossomed because of women. Had their careers because of women. Successful because of women. Exist because of women.

ALSO, as has been said, many women will be involved in all of the things you mention too. And some men will NOT ever be involved in any of that!

Oh, and women can read and write and spell too, and the REALLY clever ones can even count to 50! 😂

I agree with a pp, that word salad your Eastern European friend sent you is so cringeworthy. It's actually a bit embarrassing. I can't believe you actually thought this would serve as some kind of GOTCHA! 😆

.

Franxi · 20/08/2026 21:58

HollyhocksandPeons · 20/08/2026 21:53

Sorry, what was factually wrong in joke she sent? Factually wrong?

Sorry, I didn’t see the ‘joke’ bit!!

Beansandsprouts · 20/08/2026 21:58

HollyhocksandPeons · 20/08/2026 21:54

One person? Sorry, what is factually wrong in the message she sent? Which bit?

I could, but it’s all wrong and I don’t want to get insulting

Mrstawnyowl · 20/08/2026 21:56

Whenever I watch Saving Lives at Sea I think it shows men at their best. I live inland but I thank heavens for such brave and selfless men. Yes I do know the volunteers consist of women too.

HollyhocksandPeons · 20/08/2026 21:54

Beansandsprouts · 20/08/2026 21:52

Lady, I’m still cringing from your original post.

Pointing out one person won’t change the fact that women have been involved in the development of many things we use daily, including tech, alongside men.

One person? Sorry, what is factually wrong in the message she sent? Which bit?

RestlessMillennial · 20/08/2026 21:53

I love men. My Dad is amazing

HollyhocksandPeons · 20/08/2026 21:53

Franxi · 20/08/2026 21:48

Gosh, you’d think your friend would be able to do a bit of research (even just a basic google search) to realise this is a load of bunkum!! You need to let your friend know not to believe the amount of false drivel that’s perpetrated on crappy social media sites!!

Sorry, what was factually wrong in joke she sent? Factually wrong?

Beansandsprouts · 20/08/2026 21:52

HollyhocksandPeons · 20/08/2026 21:48

Oh, no, was Konrad Zuse a woman?

Lady, I’m still cringing from your original post.

Pointing out one person won’t change the fact that women have been involved in the development of many things we use daily, including tech, alongside men.

TheFishFish · 20/08/2026 21:51

Not all men are arseholes, but the biggest arseholes are always men.

Electricsausages · 20/08/2026 21:50

@PrizedPickledPopcorn nor me

Franxi · 20/08/2026 21:48

HollyhocksandPeons · 20/08/2026 21:40

A friend from Eastern Europe, where I am gold, they still have real men, sent this to me:

A woman got up in the morning, turned on the lights supplied by a power grid laid by men from a power plant operated by men, and poured hot water—heated with gas extracted by men—through plumbing installed by men over her coffee.
The coffee had been brought by plane, flown by men from plantations cultivated by men, along with a bun made from wheat planted and harvested by men, transported by men to shops built by men.
She pressed a button on a computer assembled by men and invented by men, and using software created by men, went onto the internet created by men, and typed, using letters from an alphabet created by men:
I’m an independent woman. Why would I need these losers?

Gosh, you’d think your friend would be able to do a bit of research (even just a basic google search) to realise this is a load of bunkum!! You need to let your friend know not to believe the amount of false drivel that’s perpetrated on crappy social media sites!!

HollyhocksandPeons · 20/08/2026 21:48

Beansandsprouts · 20/08/2026 21:44

Software created by men 🥴
Whole things cringe actually

Oh, no, was Konrad Zuse a woman?

Beansandsprouts · 20/08/2026 21:48

HollyhocksandPeons · 20/08/2026 21:40

A friend from Eastern Europe, where I am gold, they still have real men, sent this to me:

A woman got up in the morning, turned on the lights supplied by a power grid laid by men from a power plant operated by men, and poured hot water—heated with gas extracted by men—through plumbing installed by men over her coffee.
The coffee had been brought by plane, flown by men from plantations cultivated by men, along with a bun made from wheat planted and harvested by men, transported by men to shops built by men.
She pressed a button on a computer assembled by men and invented by men, and using software created by men, went onto the internet created by men, and typed, using letters from an alphabet created by men:
I’m an independent woman. Why would I need these losers?

I think you need to go and look at a little history on what women created and have been involved in. Or what they’ve been allowed to be involved in, shall we say?

Franxi · 20/08/2026 21:45

BrezhnevsLuxuriantEyebrows · 20/08/2026 20:47

How on earth can you possibly know, unless you've lived at close quarters with every single man you've ever met?

Yeah, that’s not my experience either. I think the only crap men I’ve heard about have been on here. It’s not been my experience at all with the men I know in my life.

Beansandsprouts · 20/08/2026 21:44

HollyhocksandPeons · 20/08/2026 21:40

A friend from Eastern Europe, where I am gold, they still have real men, sent this to me:

A woman got up in the morning, turned on the lights supplied by a power grid laid by men from a power plant operated by men, and poured hot water—heated with gas extracted by men—through plumbing installed by men over her coffee.
The coffee had been brought by plane, flown by men from plantations cultivated by men, along with a bun made from wheat planted and harvested by men, transported by men to shops built by men.
She pressed a button on a computer assembled by men and invented by men, and using software created by men, went onto the internet created by men, and typed, using letters from an alphabet created by men:
I’m an independent woman. Why would I need these losers?

Software created by men 🥴
Whole things cringe actually

HollyhocksandPeons · 20/08/2026 21:40

A friend from Eastern Europe, where I am gold, they still have real men, sent this to me:

A woman got up in the morning, turned on the lights supplied by a power grid laid by men from a power plant operated by men, and poured hot water—heated with gas extracted by men—through plumbing installed by men over her coffee.
The coffee had been brought by plane, flown by men from plantations cultivated by men, along with a bun made from wheat planted and harvested by men, transported by men to shops built by men.
She pressed a button on a computer assembled by men and invented by men, and using software created by men, went onto the internet created by men, and typed, using letters from an alphabet created by men:
I’m an independent woman. Why would I need these losers?

Passaggressfedup · 20/08/2026 21:33

What is the point of such a statement? Men are here to stay, whether some women like it or not.

Better to focus on individuals and what positives each bring rather than creating a self fulfilling prophecy by convincing oneself and others that one sex is so much better all around than the other.

ThatCyanCat · 20/08/2026 21:29

moderate · 20/08/2026 21:21

Straw man.

No, he's a real person, and one who dresses like a Ken doll from 2006. But he isn't the product of a 26 year old parenting web forum comprising mainly middle aged women. Mumsnet is not what radicalised his followers.

(Yes, I know what a straw man argument is. But it's completely irrelevant to what I'm saying so I'm just making fun of Andrew Tate and of the idea that the online source that created his followers is frigging Mumsnet. Do me a lemon.)

moderate · 20/08/2026 21:21

ThatCyanCat · 20/08/2026 21:13

Andrew Tate wasn't created by Mumsnet.

Straw man.

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