AIBU to wonder why people serve drinks too hot to drink?

OrdinaryGirl · 22/08/2026 22:30

Multiplenames11 · 21/08/2026 09:04

Wow that's patronising response.

The baby I saw burnt at a baby group was not my baby nor was it my drink. It just stuck in my mind as the mum naturally very very upset and not her first baby! She had been sitting right next to her baby too and the drink was in a cup with a lid and she hadn't seen it. This group always served drinks very hot and people left them sitting around for ages.

Show quote history

I get that it sounds patronising. You kind of need to expect a range of replies when you post an AIBU, and at the time of writing, 83% of people voting reckon YABU 🤷🏼‍♀️

It’s just that insisting everyone should have hot drinks colder than they want them - irrespective of anyone’s actual responsibilities in a situation - in case a baby is harmed, is pretty classic PFB thinking.

If you pop back to this thread in 5 years’ time, I’m willing to bet a small Mars bar you’ll reflect on how bonkers you sounded and how committed you were to defending your indefensible position, and you will smile too.

Persephonia1966 · 22/08/2026 22:04

WhyGetInvolved · 21/08/2026 09:23

In all seriousness - MacDonalds coffee for example is ridiculously hot. But I understand why, if someone orders a takeaway coffee they want to be able to drink it when they take it away.
I haven’t seen any serious incidences of burns in children from these types of takeaway drinks, but I’m sure they happen and are of course awful.
However - isn’t this part of parenting? Mitigating the inevitable risks of the environment around us?
Someone I went to school with had a permanent scar from pulling a cup of tea onto themselves as a baby. So it was always in my mind as an environmental risk when having kids. I don’t think the difference between 100deg and 97 (undrinkable for me unless downed immediately) would make a huge difference to a baby’s skin? Maybe I’m wrong but I’d be avoiding both for kids?

McDonald's were famously sued for having too hot coffee in probably one of the most misrepresented cases in history. In their case they were serving coffee well above the temperature you would reasonably expect it to be in flimsy cups despite being warned and repeated incidents which should have promoted a change in practice. They were completely in the wrong and that's why now they do have to have the warning. Despite people joking about "coffee hot" being unnecessary

However, McDonald's aside it's completely reasonable for most people not to drink tepid tea just in case any passing toddler pours it over themselves. Everyone should feel free to drink their beverages at a temperature of their choosing and not feeling free to pour it over babies or other adults.

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 22/08/2026 14:19

Not sure I'm understanding how adding cold water dilutes a drink, surely you make it stronger then add the cold

The water isn't infused, it just dilutes the flavour and that isn't prevented by just making a stronger brew to begin with. Longer brewing just leads to bitterness and an exceedingly tannic taste, so by adding cold water all you get is a slightly cooler but still bitter and exceedingly tannic drink

It's no different to adding 10% water to the milk you put in your breakfast cereal, or adding 10% water to a cocktail or a pint of beer. Nobody is going to do any of those things because they would all affect the quality and taste. Tea and coffee are no different.

I work in a lab, but it is not rocket science that if you add a little less hot water and make it a bit stronger, then add a little bit of cold water (if you don't add cold milk) it will still taste fine.

No it will not.

You'd have to brew in cooler water to begin with, and this is difficult to do with tea especially. 90 degrees is fine, this is what I set my kettle to, but any lower than that and the tea just doesn't infuse fully and you end up with dishwater.

swapsicles · 22/08/2026 07:19

Not sure I'm understanding how adding cold water dilutes a drink, surely you make it stronger then add the cold. So 3/4 hot 1/4 cold (adjust fraction to suit)
I've previously worked in cafes and we were always taught to heat the milk to a certain temp, not boiling as it burnt the milk.
Once we had a very snotty woman who wanted her drink made extra hot, first time still not hot enough so boiled the heck out of it the 2nd time, was quite amusing watching her struggle to even sip at her steaming coffee.
She was well known for causing issues in a number of places so I don't feel bad in any way plus no children in the vicinity at all.

Maddy70 · 22/08/2026 02:21

I want my black coffee pipping hot. I can't drink it if it isn't

Persephonia1966 · 22/08/2026 02:13

Babies skin burns very easily. The temperature of a drink that is pleasant for an adult to drink can easily be above the temperature capable of scalding sensitive skin. So the better solution is not to leave drinks where little hands can pull them.down. Not to assume that a "a quick splash of cold water/milk" makes them safe.

MidnightMeltdown · 22/08/2026 01:01

Multiplenames11 · 21/08/2026 07:40

As a scientist if you expose cells to near boiling water you denature/damage the cells and the protein. There is nothing normal about being able to drink scalding drinks. I think many of these people leave drinks longer than they realise, or I guess are the ones that take tiny sips and slurp to cool it or maybe they have a ton of saliva!

Most people I see or have been around just leave their drink for ages, so it is literally too hot to drink. I want to get on and have my drink and really prefer not to be given a scalding drink, which often happens.

Show quote history

Well you do you OP, but you don’t get to dictate other people’s choices. As you can see from the responses, the vast majority of people like their hot drinks to be hot!

Maybe you should only have cold dinners from now on to ensure that there is no possible risk of burns.

SeriouslyAreYouSure · 21/08/2026 23:29

AutumnHazel · 20/08/2026 18:56

The risks are too great. What’s more important, being able to have a scalding cup of tea, or permanently disfiguring a young child for life. The selfishness on this thread is off the scale!

We don’t take these risks with other things in life! In cars we all know that children need to be backward facing child seats until puberty! But as soon as a Great British cup of tea is mentioned, all consideration for our young ones is discarded! It’s all very Reformy if you ask me.

Show quote history

You are being ridiculous

I'm 57 & have managed to have very hot drinks all my life without scalding any children. It's not an either or situation. It's a used half a brain cell around babies and small children situation.

Flamingojune · 21/08/2026 23:14

Spending too much time admonishing strangers on mumsnet is probably not too good for your or your kids either

Original poster

Multiplenames11 · 21/08/2026 23:13

XenoBitch · 21/08/2026 22:38

It is up to you to keep your kids away from hot drinks, and not up to other people to dilute their coffee with cold water to appease you.

We have to do many many many things in life to keep others safe, drive at speed limit, not drink and drive, wear seat belts, not smoke indoors and a million and one things in work places. This is a tiny compromise. As I'm sure you read I did keep my child safe and the mum of the baby did nothing wrong, but the accident could have been avoided at multiple points. Safety involves multiple steps from multiple people.

This is a post about the women who got burnt on a plane (which was one of the things that triggered the original post). A surprising number of people in the comments have experienced burns from hot drinks, both adult and children. I
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1EyrBnPeSW/

I will leave this thread as there has been some thoughtful comments. I don't think I expected so many mumnetters to want scalding drinks and to be able to drink them straightaway, so they are actually serving them at a drinkable temperature, so they were never really answering the question posed😆. All a bit bonkers.

If one person is a bit more careful and it prevents an accident that's great, but we will never know.

OP posts:

XenoBitch · 21/08/2026 22:38

It is up to you to keep your kids away from hot drinks, and not up to other people to dilute their coffee with cold water to appease you.

Original poster

Multiplenames11 · 21/08/2026 22:37

DistantEarlyWarning · 21/08/2026 20:13

No, you are wrong. Even if you mix 8 parts boiling water with 2 parts tap water it will be over 80C, which is plenty hot enough to cause damage.
You think you’re being safe but you aren’t. Just keep the hot drinks away from the children.

Show quote history

It really really won't be, unless still in the kettle, and I know some people think their drinks are 100C, but it will cool to significantly lower than that by being poured etc.

Apparently some cultures drink drinks at 70C and that is considered extremely hot.

OP posts:

Original poster

Multiplenames11 · 21/08/2026 22:32

Jaimelefromage · 21/08/2026 19:55

Ok, so basically you expected her to add cold water to it?

Show quote history

Yes. They could have left it somewhere else or added cold water to do they could actually drink it.

I work in a lab, but it is not rocket science that if you add a little less hot water and make it a bit stronger, then add a little bit of cold water (if you don't add cold milk) it will still taste fine.

OP posts:

DistantEarlyWarning · 21/08/2026 20:13

Multiplenames11 · 21/08/2026 18:11

It's quite funny that most people think it will be luke warm if you add a bit of water!
I agree it is still hot, but less likely to do really bad damage, and of course it will have cooled somewhat being poured into another vessel from the and some level of stewing. Also 10% is a very rough estimate of the amount I put in my husband's tea .

The lady on Instagram on a plane (article linked in a earlier post) had second degree burns from the hot chocolate on the plane.

Show quote history

No, you are wrong. Even if you mix 8 parts boiling water with 2 parts tap water it will be over 80C, which is plenty hot enough to cause damage.
You think you’re being safe but you aren’t. Just keep the hot drinks away from the children.

DistantEarlyWarning · 21/08/2026 20:12

Multiplenames11 · 21/08/2026 18:26

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I would be interested to actually measure the temperature of everyone's drink at the temperature they like.

The Google ai suggests 54 to 60 degrees is comfortable.

What is clear is there are probably very many ways to drink hot drinks. The people who love them extremely hot are probably sipping and holding their cups, so in effect safer than the leavers!

Maybe some people will think twice about leaving a very hot drink for ages and consider a small compromise of adding cold water/milk, especially if children around or a situation where more risk of an accident.

I will still drink my tea fairly milky and straight away. Not luke warm and steeped in boiling water.

Quote fail

Jaimelefromage · 21/08/2026 19:55

Multiplenames11 · 21/08/2026 17:56

No milk and they had no intention of drinking it anytime soon. Totally agree it could have left it somewhere else ie not served it super hot.

Show quote history

Ok, so basically you expected her to add cold water to it?

Original poster

Multiplenames11 · 21/08/2026 18:26

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I would be interested to actually measure the temperature of everyone's drink at the temperature they like.

The Google ai suggests 54 to 60 degrees is comfortable.

What is clear is there are probably very many ways to drink hot drinks. The people who love them extremely hot are probably sipping and holding their cups, so in effect safer than the leavers!

Maybe some people will think twice about leaving a very hot drink for ages and consider a small compromise of adding cold water/milk, especially if children around or a situation where more risk of an accident.

I will still drink my tea fairly milky and straight away. Not luke warm and steeped in boiling water.

OP posts:

Original poster

Multiplenames11 · 21/08/2026 18:11

DistantEarlyWarning · 21/08/2026 12:49

You may have missed earlier, but adding 10% cold water to recently boiled water will not cool it anywhere near sufficiently to prevent scalding.

Show quote history

It's quite funny that most people think it will be luke warm if you add a bit of water!
I agree it is still hot, but less likely to do really bad damage, and of course it will have cooled somewhat being poured into another vessel from the and some level of stewing. Also 10% is a very rough estimate of the amount I put in my husband's tea .

The lady on Instagram on a plane (article linked in a earlier post) had second degree burns from the hot chocolate on the plane.

OP posts:

Original poster

Multiplenames11 · 21/08/2026 17:56

Jaimelefromage · 21/08/2026 09:30

Yes, her error was leaving her drink in reach of a child, not in having it hot in the first place.
I assume the drink she made herself was the water out of a boiling kettle plus a splash of milk? That’s a perfectly normal way to make a cup of tea (I don’t drink it, but that’s how everyone I know seems to make it). So she hasn’t done anything wrong in her preparation of the drink. She shouldn’t she left it in reach of a young child.

Show quote history

No milk and they had no intention of drinking it anytime soon. Totally agree it could have left it somewhere else ie not served it super hot.

OP posts:

DistantEarlyWarning · 21/08/2026 12:49

Multiplenames11 · 20/08/2026 22:48

Yes I don't understand how anyone drinks tea or coffee that hot, without scalding themselves. I suspect some leave it to stew for longer than they realise or haven't mentioned that. Maybe some have vast amounts of saliva which cools it! Or perhaps their nerves have down regulated in some way so they just don't feel it.

To the scalding hot preference people: I certainly don't have my tea luke warm, just not scolding hot and have never suggested steeping in luke warm water. I probably put about 10% cold water in my husband's tea after if has brewed, so it is still hot, but drinkable (and would do far less damage to a child or adult if there was an accident). I do not believe for a moment that the vast majority of these people who drink super hot tea/coffee would be able to tell the difference if a bit of cold water was added after it was brewed and done as a blind tasting.

I agree people shouldn't leave scalding hot drinks around children. Thankfully I spotted the risk before anything happened and moved it. They were guest in my house and had make the drink themselves and placed it near my child who is five- it hadn't crossed their mind and they had no intention of drinking it soon, as it was far to hot for them.

Show quote history

You may have missed earlier, but adding 10% cold water to recently boiled water will not cool it anywhere near sufficiently to prevent scalding.

Loulou4022 · 21/08/2026 09:51

Comeondoreen · 21/08/2026 09:46

Yes, having served my time as a barista years ago I can attest that a significant amount of people would insist on me heating the milk to the point where it’s burnt, otherwise it was simply too cold for them.

My mother drinks her tea near as damnit as soon as it’s made with freshly boiled water. I imagine she’s simply burnt the nerves in her mouth and throat over the years. Terrible for you of course, but she won’t change now.

I agree with you though OP that people are blasé about scolding risks at baby groups.

Show quote history

I think if it’s baby/ toddler groups they need to insist people bring along lidded cups if they want a hot drink! It’s the only way we’re allowed a hot drink outside of the staff room at school.

Comeondoreen · 21/08/2026 09:46

Loulou4022 · 20/08/2026 15:54

If it’s a food establishment because then they’d get people complaing that the drinks are too cold!! If it’s in a home then parents responsibility to put it somewhere safe or use lidded cups

Edited

Yes, having served my time as a barista years ago I can attest that a significant amount of people would insist on me heating the milk to the point where it’s burnt, otherwise it was simply too cold for them.

My mother drinks her tea near as damnit as soon as it’s made with freshly boiled water. I imagine she’s simply burnt the nerves in her mouth and throat over the years. Terrible for you of course, but she won’t change now.

I agree with you though OP that people are blasé about scolding risks at baby groups.

HangryBrickShark · 21/08/2026 09:30

Multiplenames11 · 20/08/2026 15:48

Just seen someone with horrible burns from a drink on Instagram. This has got me thinking along with seeing a baby at a baby group get a small burn from a hot drink and someone leaving a very hot drink in a non safe place near my small child recently. Why do people not just add some cold water to hot drinks. What is the point of making a drink that's too hot to drink? Why not add a bit of cold water (after it has brewed/steeped etc), rather that handing people drinks that need to cool for sometime to be drinkable. It would hopefully prevent quite a lot of injuries.
Of course leave a tea to stew safely on a kitchen bench or put in a thermos for later if going out.

My partner does this, swills both inside and outside of mug with boiling water before adding the boiling water to the teabag.

Not only does he do this as its so hot you can do nothing but sip it, but he starts gulping it down after a minute. I've told him this can cause esophageal cancer but he won't listen!

Jaimelefromage · 21/08/2026 09:30

Multiplenames11 · 21/08/2026 09:23

But why leave a drink that hot near a young child. They could just as easily have left in in the kitchen or somewhere else safe or at least have it in sight. At least the scalding drink drinkers are supervising their drink by drinking it! I just don't get leaving them around for ages because it is too hot to drink.

Ok I must be extremely weird for not expecting a drink left close to a child to be so so hot! Can you just slightly see why I was surprised it was so hot?....

Show quote history

Yes, her error was leaving her drink in reach of a child, not in having it hot in the first place.
I assume the drink she made herself was the water out of a boiling kettle plus a splash of milk? That’s a perfectly normal way to make a cup of tea (I don’t drink it, but that’s how everyone I know seems to make it). So she hasn’t done anything wrong in her preparation of the drink. She shouldn’t she left it in reach of a young child.

Sherararara · 21/08/2026 09:25

Because different people have different tastes and preferences and you can always wait for a hot to drink to cool but no matter how long you wait it never gets warm again.

Your issue is leaving hot drinks near children. That’s a different issue.