Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would it be odd to send my number in a nursery card?

33 replies

Disintegration1985 · 20/08/2026 13:35

My DD is 4 and her last day at nursery is tomorrow - she starts school in a couple of weeks. She’s had the same best friend since she started nursery at 18 months - they’re two peas in a pod. Nursery staff tell me all the time how close they are - they make a beeline for each other every morning and they play together all day every day.

DD and friend have never met outside of nursery. For context, I’m ND and quite introverted and am not great at striking up conversation with strangers. I do attempt to be friendly to friend’s mum in passing at drop off/pick up time (a smile and a quick ‘hi’) but I always get the impression friend’s mum isn’t interested. She rarely acknowledges me (she sometimes says hi to DD but not me), and generally she doesn’t seem to participate in anything outside of nursery - doesn’t RSVP or attend any birthday parties (even DD’s) and from what I can tell, none of the other mums have much to do with her either (I do meet up with a couple of other mums and their kids - all of them approached me first for my number).

However, DD and her friend are going to different schools in September. DD is obviously very sad that she won’t be with her friend and that she will likely not see them anymore. She’s asked me a few times if I can speak to their mum and arrange a playdate like I do with some of her other friends. I’ve not made her any promises - mainly because I don’t think friend’s mum will want to, and I also want to avoid an awkward situation at pick up where I ask her and she says no.

But DD has asked to write some cards to some of her friends before she leaves on Friday - just ‘thank you for being my friend/I’ll miss you’ type thing. Obviously this friend is top of her list for a card, and I thought about popping a note in theirs to say ‘I know DD would love to stay in contact with [friend’s name] after they start school - here’s my number if you ever fancy getting them together’.

Is that potentially a bit weird/overstepping? I just thought that way, friend’s mum wouldn’t feel put on the spot face-to-face and she’d be free to ignore it if she wants. But equally as we’ve never really spoken I don’t want to come across as creepy.

I’m probably overthinking the whole thing - and I know DD will make new friends at school in no time. I think I’m just a bit sensitive to the fact that she’s literally the only one from her class going to her school so she won’t know anyone in her class. I think I’d just like to know that at the very least I’ve done what I can to help her keep hold of a valuable friendship.

OP posts:
AmbersCat · 20/08/2026 13:45

I think you should have tried sooner, they are going to different schools now, move on.

Crumbylentil · 20/08/2026 13:42

18 months of being besties and not one play date?

redskyAtNigh · 20/08/2026 13:42

It's fine to do but I wouldn't expect anything of it. Even if you do set up a playdate, it's highly unlikely that you will manage to sustain the friendship when you don't already have one with the other parent, the children don't currently have one outside nursery, and they will both soon be more focussed on new school mates.

12234m · 20/08/2026 13:41

If you feel this way why haven't you don't more to facilitate your child's friendship now? If you struggle with socialising what is different now?

Crumbylentil · 20/08/2026 13:39

The woman just sounds very busy!!

I would not bother as both are going to different schools. Same school? Absolutely. Different? no point

LordEmsworth · 20/08/2026 13:39

You're overthinking.

I heard a comedian talking about the song which goes hey I just met you, this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me maybe. He pointed out that giving someone your number if you want them to call you is not in fact crazy, it is actually very sane and logical. Only he expressed it in a more amusing way than I have 😆

Moonnstarz · 20/08/2026 13:37

Yes this is fine to do. Though as per the poster above I doubt you will hear from them sadly.

YosoyEduardo · 20/08/2026 13:36

Do it but given what you said don't hold too much hope to hear anything.