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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to call 2yo overnight while away?

39 replies

feelinglikealoser · 20/08/2026 10:03

I'm going away for a week without my 2yo.. his dad and I are separated and share custody.. I'm going to miss him so so much and would like to call him every evening to say goodnight ..my ex has agreed to every other night but not sure he will agree to every night.. am I being selfish to ask this?

OP posts:
beaglescurleduplikebagels · 20/08/2026 10:43

I wouldn't do every night - it's not fair on your ex and could potentially cause a lot of upset for your 2yo.

Happytaytos · 20/08/2026 10:43

I wouldn't phone at all. It'll unsettle him so much.

Flourshiba · 20/08/2026 10:41

Speaking gently, as I understand how you feel. This would have really upset and unsettled my 2 year old x

Original poster
feelinglikealoser · 20/08/2026 10:41

Thankyou @Makebelieveanotherlifeno he hasn't done a week away from me before so just feels like a very long time.

OP posts:
Original poster
feelinglikealoser · 20/08/2026 10:40

I honestly wanted to call (yes because I miss him) but because I thought he would miss me want to speak to his mum but after all the 'selfish' comments on here I can see people have very strong feelings about about it!

OP posts:
purplecorkheart · 20/08/2026 10:14

Honestly I think that could be very selfish of you and upsetting for your child. My friend was away recently and mentioned that her child got very upset when she rang. I would ask your ex to send updates/pictures but I think phoning will be upsetting for the child.

Floppyearedlab · 20/08/2026 10:13

This is so unfair on the child. Stop putting your own wants first. He will be happy and settled with his dad. He doesn’t need confusing with a phone call from you in the evening when he is tired that will then be cut off. So horribly selfish.

Makebelieveanotherlife · 20/08/2026 10:13

Yanbu to want to speak to your baby every single day, but maybe during the day is better. Has he done a week away before from you op?

cestlavielife · 20/08/2026 10:11

Not needed
he is two. Leave him to settle.
just ask him to send you daily/regular update. Child had a good day all well.

Lomonald · 20/08/2026 10:10

Don't phone him at night as a pp said phone him during the day, phoning him at bedtime might upset him and that isn't fair on his dad is it ?

Mooselooseinmyhoose · 20/08/2026 10:08

I apprieciate it will be hard but honestly less is more for them. When mine were that little they would be happy and settled with dad if I rang they'd remember i was gone and get upset! You need a planned call in the week and then an understanding that if child wants to speak to you it will be facilitated.

Everyday is way too much.

Mooselooseinmyhoose · 20/08/2026 10:08

I apprieciate it will be hard but honestly less is more for them. When mine were that little they would be happy and settled with dad if I rang they'd remember i was gone and get upset! You need a planned call in the week and then an understanding that if child wants to speak to you it will be facilitated.

Everyday is way too much.

AndChaosStartsAgain · 20/08/2026 10:06

I think you're being totally understandably selfish and not thinking in the best interests of your DC. Call during the day, not at bed time. And I don't think everyday is necessarily the best idea.

SwimLessonConfusion · 20/08/2026 10:05

Honestly, I think this is one of those co-parenting moments that should be child-led.

If your child ends up being upset (due to missing you) after a phonecall, but is settled otherwise, then I wouldn't want to cause upset..

Whereas if your child is really happy, comforted by that, then I'd want to facilitate it.

What would you do if the tables were turned for your ex?

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