Just walked out on kids

No.

No wonder this country is in such a mess when it comes to children & young people. Emotional abuse?? Just stop it.

I’m not at all surprised a parent might feel the need to step away from such an incident for a few minutes.

Children need parents first & foremost, not best friends/therapists.

Well the fact that they were a bit sheepish shows that you have done a good job raising them because they were able to recognise that they had tipped you over the edge. It also sounds like they weren't remotely traumatised and were perfectly able to recognise that you were blowing off a bit of steam. Ignore all the perfect parents on here who never lose their shit.

I wouldn't class 30 mins a long period. And the older child is 12.

In the "real world", parents do not walk out and leave their children home alone. This is not normal or acceptable behaviour.

Why the eye roll?

🙄

Children don't need robotic Stepford Wife parents. Real parents have emotions and can be pushed too far. Are these things ideal? No but in the real world parents will lose their rag and shout or have to take time a minute to themselves.

It isn't about leaving the children alone, its about what was said to them and the circumstances surrounding that. There is a world of difference between a mum saying she is popping to the shop and leaving her kids alone for 30mins and leaving the house shouting that they don't want this to be their life. In the first the children reasonably expect their mother to return, in the second they have no idea if she will ever come back. That is the point.

It is emotional abuse.

OP needs to learn to regulate her own feelings.

It is emotionally abusive.

This post has made me feel so much better today. I am three days away from my period and my autistic daughter has refused to be in a different room to me for the entire summer holiday, not even when we are asleep, she follows me around like a shadow and I have zero space. I lost my shit this morning and felt awful. You’re not alone!

oh I hear you OP .
I couldn’t do that because my youngest ( of 3 ) has learning disabilities and autism.
However with 2 regular kids that age , they will be fine for half an hour in their own home .
im hoping you have a little shop nearby that you can buy a coffee and a little treat then head back to them and explain to them how ridiculous they’re being

"I am left wondering how big some of your houses are…because I would still be able to hear my kids even if I shut myself in a different room!"

Mine is a three bed thirties semi, so not particularly big, but with very thick brick and breezeblock internal walls, so very little sound carries, at least through the walls. The only way I know our sixteen year old is about is when I hear the thud on the ceiling above as she jumps down from the top bunk (because using the ladder is for losers, obviously). We have an intercom system on the landline, with handsets in the living room and all three bedrooms, which is useful for communicating without yelling oneself hoarse. 😁

No one is congratulating or normalising anything. The OP obviously doesn't feel great about it and people are being understanding rather than putting the boot in.

I was regularly left for 4 hours with my older sister when I was 6-7 and she was 8-9. The neighbour checked in on us but both my parents had to work and childcare as it is today wasn't even a thing. Maybe you're privileged enough that you don't know how often this is a reality for children. I'm not arguing that it's ideal but given that I survived you'll have to forgive me for not thinking OP should be reported for social services for leaving a 9 and 12 year old for 30 minutes.

You really do have an axe to grind here don't you?

They were contrite because they were scared.

to be fair this would be quite frightening for an 8 year old alone. A 9 year old is probably fine with a 12 year old for a short time

God lord, what an absolute load of codswallop.

Have you not grown up yet.

I agree, maybe have a think about your role in this incident? Yes you were young, but your mum is a person, not a saint - and she obviously needed some breathing space. What was your behaviour like to drive her to this? Maybe it shocked you so much it worked?

Wrong dynamics, difficult to correct. I was aware of the hierarchy in the relationship with my parents (they never hit me or bullied me), so I made sure my dc had the same feeling, by using consequences after explaining things. Like misbehaviour at a playpark meant upping sticks and going home immediately, having explained why we are going home. A doll hurled across the room in anger? Doll gets donated by the thrower to a charity shop, explanation: doll does not want to be around you anymore, you hurt it, it will go to a girl who won't mistreat it. It is surprising how much they understand if they have explained consequences. Only you have to be consistent. But I never pretend-abandoned my dc even for 10 minutes - we left the playpark together, we left cafes together, we donated the doll together. Doll was kept behind the till in the charity shop and returned two weeks later, because she heard that the child was sorry and behaviour improved, which she was and which it did.

I also agree that a 9 and 12 year old could be left alone for half an hour, but she didn’t approach her children when they were calm, tell them she was nipping to the shop and then go out. She said “I’m done with this” and left without telling them how long she was going to be. Can you see this from the child’s perspective? Because there are an awful lot of adults here saying the children should see things from their mother’s perspective and very little the other way, despite adults being more capable.

Rubbish. My DDs were none the worse.

(Dh was away for weeks at a time, so they knew he wouldn’t be back.).