Just walked out on kids

The 14yo thing is still not a law though. Yes there's guidelines and people can be prosecuted for failing to care for their child, but 14 isn't a fixed age in law. If it was, babysitters wouldn't have existed in the 1990s!!!

I know plenty of people who leave under 14s together at home, especially if two secondary age children.

Gosh, you love to make things up in your head, don’t you?

I don’t WANT to be reported, I’m just confident that whilst I had a very shit moment (or 30) I am not abusive to my child, which is not only insulting to me, but also to children who actually have gone through abuse.

also didn’t need permission or congratulations, I was just a stressed out mum who had done something they weren’t feeling good about, and took a moment to get it off my chest to a group of other parents. My mistake.

It’s safeguarding guidelines within the NSPCC which is used as part of Education. The reason you won’t find fixed ages within law is because it’s dependant on the individual. For example if it was written into law that ALL children from secondary school age could be left alone then you allow no grey area for those with additional needs/disabilities/illness etc. Because of this there are frameworks and safeguarding guidelines used by agencies.

The parent has the ability to use their own discretion as to the right age for independence however it has to be reasonable AND you cannot leave an older child in charge of a younger child until they are 14. That’s why babysitters are fourteen and over.

If you can be proved to be unreasonable, say you leave your eleven year old at home all day in the summer holidays and they set the house on fire accidentally, then you can be prosecuted. You can’t rely on a piece of law to say, ‘oh they said eleven was fine.’ It’s your judgement at that point and for some people eleven seems reasonable for being home alone and for others that might wait until the child is sixteen.

How sad that you’ve come here for a bit of moral support and have been so challenged, criticised and attacked by other parents.
They are clearly all perfect parents with angelic children.
my kids used to almost kill each other at times. I would be tearing my hair out.
How I didn’t knock their blocks off I’ll never know. Look after yourself. You’re doing fine.
A ‘good enough’ mother is good enough as John Bowlby said.

How sad that you’ve come here for a bit of moral support and have been so challenged, criticised and attacked by other parents.
They are clearly all perfect parents with angelic children.
my kids used to almost kill each other at times. I would be tearing my hair out.
How I didn’t knock their blocks off I’ll never know. Look after yourself. You’re doing fine.
A ‘good enough’ mother is good enough as John Bowlby said.

My mum did this to me when I was 8

I have never forgiven her.

What to her was getting a few moments peace , was to me , a child, my mother abandoning me

Go home OP, deep breaths

Gosh, you love to make things up in your head, don’t you?

I don’t WANT to be reported, I’m just confident that whilst I had a very shit moment (or 30) I am not abusive to my child, which is not only insulting to me, but also to children who actually have gone through abuse.

also didn’t need permission or congratulations, I was just a stressed out mum who had done something they weren’t feeling good about, and took a moment to get it off my chest to a group of other parents. My mistake.

a social worker has posted that it wouldn’t.

but seeing as you know better, go for it.

I also agree that a 9 and 12 year old could be left alone for half an hour, but she didn’t approach her children when they were calm, tell them she was nipping to the shop and then go out. She said “I’m done with this” and left without telling them how long she was going to be. Can you see this from the child’s perspective? Because there are an awful lot of adults here saying the children should see things from their mother’s perspective and very little the other way, despite adults being more capable.

Aye alright Jackanory 😂

Absolutely. As the current pattern appears to be once in 12 years, what age do you think they’ll be when they are traumatised by me?

I can take judgement on the situation no problem, but abuse is too far.

Oh, I also didn’t slam the door behind me, or run off like a bat out of hell (although I don’t think it was you that said that). I closed the door, went back in to retrieve my door key as it wasn’t in my bag, and then left again. I’d also appreciate it being pointed out where I’ve minimised it too, which has also been said.

again though, feel free to get in touch with anyone you feel the need to.

I had my own key from the age of seven, walked myself home from school and spent two hours by myself until a grown up came home

Go home and put them both in their own rooms to tidy them and they are not allowed out until it is tidy. Put your music on and sit and read a book on the landing.
Then get them out one at a time and let them know how upset you feel.

It is painful the bickering.

The fact her children weren't at all shocked would suggest she regularly tantrums in their presence.

You need to go to the Lost & Found to see if you can locate your missing empathy.

@Stepstepsteptwo- if you genuinely believe that I abuse my children, please feel free to report me to the relevant services.

was today my finest moment? Absolutely not, hands held firmly up. Do I think I’m abusive? No, not really. If it was something I did repeatedly, you would have a point. But I can assure you, my kids are not cowering wrecks, afraid to put a foot wrong incase I leave. Bickering has continued.

I think you’d be wasting valuable time and resources.

Unless she didn’t ever come back, you need to get the fuck over it.

Real parents, also need to communicate with their kids on how to cope with overwhelming feelings. They can even say, “I’m so frustrated, angry, and overwhelmed with you two. I’m going to go take a bath and lock the door.” Or something like. Every parent ends up shouting. Not every parent throws things, or takes off like a bat out of hell.

Good thing the op isn't leaving them for a long period then. She's round the corner catching her breath, not off out for the day