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Original poster

Just walked out on kids

464 replies

patiencehasgone · 20/08/2026 09:24

Just that, really.

9 and 12 years old. Constantly fucking bickering.

Do not listened to me when I ask them to stop. Or listen full stop really.

They started arguing over a fucking face towel, so I said ‘nope, not having this be my life’ grabbed my bag and keys, got in my car and have driven round the corner and parked up.

not really sure what I do from here really.

OP posts:
TheignT · 20/08/2026 10:36

EwwStew · 20/08/2026 10:20

But it could have all easily been handled before it got to the point of making op snap?

Dc shouldn't be left to bicker. They should be taught to respect each other, how to handle emotions like anger, and how to resolve conflict from a young age.

I never have to worry about dc arguing with each other to the point of upsetting the household (13 and 16 now), because we taught them how we wanted them to behave. And ds was non verbal until 7!

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The funny thing is two of mine got on fine, no bickering. Two of mine were a nightmare to live with due to all the arguing. Sometimes it isn't as easy as people who haven't lived it think it is.

Maybe if you'd had two more you wouldn't be quite so smug as how your kids are is probably at least as much to do with their personalities as it is with your parenting skills.

socks1107 · 20/08/2026 10:36

I stopped all playing out, all play dates etc at about this age and told them unless the bickering stopped I assumed that is how they behaved with others and therefore couldn’t be trusted to be with others. They needed to get along themselves first.
soon stopped, now at 22 and 20 they are pretty close but at times I’d have loved to walk away for an hour 🤣

YourSharpFinch · 20/08/2026 10:35

Go get yourself a mcdonalds or smth, clear your thoughts and get back. This is part of parenting. You should be above this.

SomersetBrie · 20/08/2026 10:32

Nousernameideaaga · 20/08/2026 09:26

My mum did this to me when I was 8

I have never forgiven her.

What to her was getting a few moments peace , was to me , a child, my mother abandoning me

Go home OP, deep breaths

Learn forgiveness, it's very empowering.

Maray1967 · 20/08/2026 10:32

Favouritefruits · 20/08/2026 09:37

Go home! You are the adult, you can not behave like a child then expect your children to behave! It’s hard! We all know it’s hard and tough but you just put up with it because you decided to have children and children argue.

Not in my world. Kids learn best when there are consequences and at 12 and 9 they are old enough to get a shock. And please remember that forty years ago practically every 12 year old I know spent an hour or so at home after school before a parent got home from work.

OP, give it thirty minutes, go home, make them stand in front of you and tell them both that you have had enough of it and if there is any more bickering over anything it will disappear. You will bin the face cloths so they do without them, you will chuck out the TV remote etc - whatever is relevant. It’s high time they had a bollocking.

mangopine · 20/08/2026 10:31

Nousernameideaaga · 20/08/2026 09:26

My mum did this to me when I was 8

I have never forgiven her.

What to her was getting a few moments peace , was to me , a child, my mother abandoning me

Go home OP, deep breaths

How long was she gone?

NortyTorty · 20/08/2026 10:30

Mine are all much older now but I do remember the bickering years. It is exhausting and unrelenting. They will be fine, you will be fine.

Plan strategies when all is calm because it will happen again - I used to try not to apportion blame and separate as much as possible when it all started going downhill.

If it helps, my sibling and I bickered and fought throughout childhood, but became very good friends once we went to 6th form college. We are still good friends, still bicker on occasion, but work together well to look after our parent with dementia!

Original poster
patiencehasgone · 20/08/2026 10:29

TheSmellOfSea · 20/08/2026 10:27

Some dcs are carers for their parents at these ages. They aren't babies.

You did right imo. Hopefully they'll settle down and stop bickering so much?

Do they share a bedroom @patiencehasgone ?

No, thank god!!!

a few years ago I had the amazing idea for them to share a room, so they could have a room for just sleeping, and then a play room with all
their toys and crafts in there.

remind me to tell my partner later that he’s a genius for saying no to that!

OP posts:
4thweekofjuly · 20/08/2026 10:29

The state of this thread.

eltondon · 20/08/2026 10:28

Nousernameideaaga · 20/08/2026 09:26

My mum did this to me when I was 8

I have never forgiven her.

What to her was getting a few moments peace , was to me , a child, my mother abandoning me

Go home OP, deep breaths

You never forgave your mother for this!

TheSmellOfSea · 20/08/2026 10:27

Some dcs are carers for their parents at these ages. They aren't babies.

You did right imo. Hopefully they'll settle down and stop bickering so much?

Do they share a bedroom @patiencehasgone ?

Rocknrollstar · 20/08/2026 10:27

patiencehasgone · 20/08/2026 09:44

Thanks for the responses, very helpful.

no other adult at home, which is why I feel bad enough about it to post on here. I have called their dad to let him know so there’s no panic if they call him, which they haven’t.

i plan to wait until the 30 mins have passed and then I’ll go back.

i have spoken to them so many times about how much of an atmosphere it causes within our family, but it’s in one ear and out the other as soon as one of them breathes in the others direction.

Tell them to stay in their own rooms.

Happyjoe · 20/08/2026 10:26

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 20/08/2026 10:25

It’s not about moddycoddling, it’s about following the law and child safeguarding guidelines.

Leaving the children broke no laws with the OP. Leaving the children didn't create any harm.

Next.

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 20/08/2026 10:26

EwwStew · 20/08/2026 10:20

But it could have all easily been handled before it got to the point of making op snap?

Dc shouldn't be left to bicker. They should be taught to respect each other, how to handle emotions like anger, and how to resolve conflict from a young age.

I never have to worry about dc arguing with each other to the point of upsetting the household (13 and 16 now), because we taught them how we wanted them to behave. And ds was non verbal until 7!

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What a supercilious, sanctimonious post 🙄

Shark321 · 20/08/2026 10:25

Reminds me of the time I left home and nobody noticed.

They will be fine.

Go back when you’re ready x

Happyjoe · 20/08/2026 10:25

EwwStew · 20/08/2026 10:20

But it could have all easily been handled before it got to the point of making op snap?

Dc shouldn't be left to bicker. They should be taught to respect each other, how to handle emotions like anger, and how to resolve conflict from a young age.

I never have to worry about dc arguing with each other to the point of upsetting the household (13 and 16 now), because we taught them how we wanted them to behave. And ds was non verbal until 7!

Edited
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Another mum making the mistake that all children are the same and all sorts of presumptions too.

hugasaurus · 20/08/2026 10:25

patiencehasgone · 20/08/2026 10:16

Home now, two sheepish children greeted me, apologies were given, explanations about how their bickering makes me feel were repeated.

both have been sent to their rooms to tidy, and then read or do something crafty whilst I have a cuppa and decompress.

will talk again later once things are calmer.

Yeah, their dad is in the picture - we all live together as a family unit

Enjoy your cup of tea! And hopefully some peace for a while at least…

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 20/08/2026 10:25

It’s not about moddycoddling, it’s about following the law and child safeguarding guidelines.

Hotpants123 · 20/08/2026 10:23

So much mollycoddling on this thread, that is why we do not have resilient, strong and independent children.
Not ideal but it doesn't hurt them to know that you have had enough.
Give them 30 mins then go back and say what they are doing is not ok.
They will survive.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 20/08/2026 10:23

Yeah you can’t do that until the eldest is 14.

ERthree · 20/08/2026 10:22

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 20/08/2026 10:00

I used to work with a woman who would leave her 3 kids for entire days in the holidays whilst she went to work. One was 12 the other around 7 and the other about 4

Show quote history

I was 11 when i was left in a town 12 miles from any family, i looked after my nephews, they were a baby, 2 and 4. It was fine. I think many on here would be shocked at the number of children left every day to get themselves to school etc. There are many many "latchkey" children, always has been and there always will be.

EwwStew · 20/08/2026 10:20

HotGrapefruit · 20/08/2026 10:17

I don't think this is a bad lesson: Sometimes you have to remove yourself from a situation because you know you will otherwise snap.

OP, I hope your day improves. Lots of love from me. x

Show quote history

But it could have all easily been handled before it got to the point of making op snap?

Dc shouldn't be left to bicker. They should be taught to respect each other, how to handle emotions like anger, and how to resolve conflict from a young age.

I never have to worry about dc arguing with each other to the point of upsetting the household (13 and 16 now), because we taught them how we wanted them to behave. And ds was non verbal until 7!

HotGrapefruit · 20/08/2026 10:17

EwwStew · 20/08/2026 10:15

You are the one they learn their conflict resolution and communication skills from.

Why haven't you taught them better?

I don't think this is a bad lesson: Sometimes you have to remove yourself from a situation because you know you will otherwise snap.

OP, I hope your day improves. Lots of love from me. x

Original poster
patiencehasgone · 20/08/2026 10:16

Home now, two sheepish children greeted me, apologies were given, explanations about how their bickering makes me feel were repeated.

both have been sent to their rooms to tidy, and then read or do something crafty whilst I have a cuppa and decompress.

will talk again later once things are calmer.

Yeah, their dad is in the picture - we all live together as a family unit

OP posts:
AnonyMumAuDHD · 20/08/2026 10:16

LordFarquard · 20/08/2026 10:15

I’m not surprised she walked out on you if this is the sort of person you are.

”Never forgiven her”.

Jesus wept.

Show quote history

Indeed. I’ve never forgiven my mother for not walking out.

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