Just walked out on kids

Summer holidays are long and they’ve no doubt had enough of each other (as have you of them!) it’s all understandable.

My eldest two were bickering non stop yesterday and, whilst I understand all the posters saying to separate them, what actually worked was this:

I said I couldn’t trust them to be without me so they had to both stay with me the whole time. So they sat on the floor of my room while I did my hair and make up. Followed me to the bathroom when I washed my hands. Followed me from room to room while I put laundry away. Trust me when I say after 10 min of this they were begging to be allowed to prove they could get along 😂

Good luck OP and I think you did the right thing. We all need a break sometimes.

Well quite. I’ve been known to go and sit in the car on the driveway or go in the garden and fume in the summerhouse. I’m not driving away though, that’s entirely different.

Summer holidays are long and intense, particularly when it’s been boiling hot, money is tight and the kids are arguing. I think it’s been hard on many of us.

What did you do to make her walk out?

I’m not trying to frighten anyone. In fact I said it’s the up to the parents discretion in most cases. What is peculiar though is a load of cheerleaders on this thread congratulating a parent for getting so overwhelmed that they leave the home in their car to teach their kids a lesson. That’s really odd and probably indicative of just how much stress everyone is under right now.

OP, you did the right thing.
Bickering is awful.

Kindly meant but perhaps you are too gentle.

My mother ordered us into the garden, away from her ears when bickering started.
I actually think it was a great ploy.
It definitely got us to cop on.

Also I have found doing a strict plain ingredients only shop, no treats whatsoever, plain simple dinners, only fruit, was the worst punishment in this house when my children were younger.

I'm usually very good for buying stuff they like so "mum did a bad shop" was a clear sign that they needed to buck up.

Try it. One plain shop and when they ask tell them treats are fueling bad behaviour so I am going to cut them out and see if behaviour improves.
Wait for the squeals of denial!

Is the younger one a girl? There's been sisters murdered under these circumstances, by their teen brother.

I walk away from my (disabled) son all of the time. Last night I locked myself in the bathroom while he shouted the word “showerrrrr” through the door at me.

Sometimes, we just need a fucking minute. It’s for the own good, you’re a human with emotions and sometimes you just need some space before you self combust.

This idea that being a parent means you’re suddenly devoid of human emotion and your patience should have no limits is insane.

I would however stay at home and avoid them temporarily there - for safety reasons, but other than that - you get yourself some space.

Smugitty Smugface would be a label I would wear with pride tbh.

I quite fancy the idea of an "I'm Smuggity Smugface" t -shirt!

First of all you need to calm down.

Ive literally stated its a framework of guidelines and there is no age given in law when it comes to a child being left alone and I’ve said why. I’ve also never stated that any of my comments relieve the parent from overall responsibility when the child is under 18 and in the care of an older child.

I did this to my kids when they were the same age as yours. I drove around the neighbourhood for 40 mins had my phone with me so not like they couldn’t contact me and when I got back they were both sat watching telly eating crisps. Don’t worry about it op, im sure the vast majority of mums have done the exact same thing as you more than once.

Why do people on all kinds of threads get a kick out of interpreting legislation/guidelines/'the LAW' badly in order to scare and frighten posters and to draw parallels between situations being posted about and extreme circumstances that are not the same. Who is going to call the police on the OP? A neighbour who has the house under surveillance and knows for a fact that no other adult is at home?? Come on now.

I do the kcsie training every year too and if a child mentioned this had happened the most likely outcome would be a phone call home, which would be logged, and nothing further. Obviously if there were other concerns/issues it would be different.

Sometimes a short sharp shock helps. Sometimes as a parent you need a breather.

child no.1 (about 11?) was being particularly annoying on a car journey. I got out, got her out. Frogmarched her half a mile to where my DW had driven.

Now 40. She's fine, probably remembers it. Gets on well with siblings.

But what you actually have said is that if children are terrified they should stop being children just in case the adult scream shout slams the doors locks them in and displays abusive behaviour.

Because children again aren't adults... Do any of you genuinely have children who only need to be told something once, and they will never, ever do it again for the duration of the rest of their childhood? Please tell me how you managed that?

You're picking apart my words instead of the op's actions and you're a terrible person.

😂😂😂😂😂

So do I plus a whole host of further safer guarding training.

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/advice-for-families/home-alone/#legal

here is the document you so incorrectly stated says about 14.

read it. learn it.

then learn to type fact as fact.

More rubbish.

The NSPcC government document clearly states if you leave a child at home with someone under 16 your are responsible for their welfare.

Nothing about 14 or a law.

You seriously need to STOP posting bollocks as fact.

Do you really believe that? There are many that are just left to get on with it. We live in a real world not one that is wrapped in a rose tinted hue.

So there's more than this one off situation?

Mine fall out over heavy duty issues like breathing

Well done you!

Hopefully the message will stick this time.

It is useful for children to be reminded that their parents are people, too.

I literally had yearly KCSIE training convering this lol. No smugness here at all.

Wow. Do you ? Have you met my mother?

... especially not if they are arguing...

How have you just proved me incorrect? 🤭

It’s safeguarding guidelines within the NSPCC which is used as part of Education. The reason you won’t find fixed ages within law is because it’s dependant on the individual. For example if it was written into law that ALL children from secondary school age could be left alone then you allow no grey area for those with additional needs/disabilities/illness etc. Because of this there are frameworks and safeguarding guidelines used by agencies.

The parent has the ability to use their own discretion as to the right age for independence however it has to be reasonable AND you cannot leave an older child in charge of a younger child until they are 14. That’s why babysitters are fourteen and over.

If you can be proved to be unreasonable, say you leave your eleven year old at home all day in the summer holidays and they set the house on fire accidentally, then you can be prosecuted. You can’t rely on a piece of law to say, ‘oh they said eleven was fine.’ It’s your judgement at that point and for some people eleven seems reasonable for being home alone and for others that might wait until the child is sixteen.

You are misunderstanding probably on purpose but just in case, If you are terrified of something (your word) you don't actively seek it out.