SAHM and pension

I am in the UK now, we were in the US when he was a SAHD.
The Roth IRA is a type of US private pension.

Yeah, I didn't know what a Roth IRA was but it looks very like an ISA in the UK (although with penalties if you withdraw before 60) so much less locked down thana SIPP or LISA.

If you have children under 12 there is no need for him to pay NI for you. Claim child benefit and if his income is over the threshold just dont take the payment.

But you talk about this group (SAHMs) s if they were all one and the same - giving the impression you think they are making a pretty poor show of it and not working being some kind of moral deficiency.

The op isn’t vulnerable. She is married and in a relationship where she is respected. Where you say ‘well documented’ you are referring to women who become sahms when they’re neither married nor respected - yes, they are vulnerable. And this has absolutely nothing to do with the ops situation or question.

I’m a SAHP. My husband pays my national insurance contributions. And I compound my interest on my savings . Apparently I’m estimated a very good pension

Usually people who are rude don’t have at least had a brain either…..

Everyone knows being a SAHM puts women in a really vunerable situation tho - that’s a well documented fact

Granted there are situations where people don’t work if they have disabled kids or are disabled themselves but this is not the majority of people

I was a SAHM for a few years a long time ago. DH paid into a Pension for me. It wasn’t very much, but better than nothing.

I think you’ve misunderstood feminism. It’s about choice, women getting a choice. Women can choose to be career focussed or they can choose to be sahm’s. Sneering at the one you haven’t chosen is misogyny.

This is exactly the sort of comment that people think applies to everyone. You try that with two adopted children who couldn't be left with anyone.

Only saying what people will be thinking 🤔

I started an ISA in my name when I was a sahm.

Not wanting to be controversial…..
but you could get a job and therefore have an occupational pension!

A woman once said to me at a coffee morning "oh so you're a kept woman!" when I told her I wasn't working. I can still remember how that felt. As it happens, I gave up a pretty decent job in the City because I adopted two children who turned out to have multiple additional needs and who couldn't manage childcare (or rather childcare couldn't manage them). If they were to have any chance of making it in life - just calming down their extreme anxiety and hyperactivity and addressing their attachment needs - they needed a stay at home parent. I earned less than my husband and I had the skills to do all the dla, ehc applications, the hospital and therapy visits etc. I resent the idea that any SAHMs are somehow lazy. I knew a lot of other SAHMs and many of them could have worked but prioritised different things.

OP, I claimed carer's allowance and dla for the children. Carer's allowance does contribute credits to your gov pension.

A personal pension is all you need, Aviva, Fidelity, Quilter, will do whole of market. Vanguard will do their own funds but are very cheap.

Actually, women fought for the right to have choices. Your sneering judgement of other women’s choices is not feminism.

I am a woman who chose to bring up healthy, happy, intelligent, thriving children alongside having a successful career as most modern women do. Women literally fought for this right.

You accuse me of misogyny. The irony! Isn't it far more misogynistic for a man to 'rely' on a woman to look after his children? We moved on from that decades ago. Parents are parents. It does not matter whether they are male or female. No woman should ever be 'relied upon' to look after a man's children. You need to pull yourself into the 21st century.

For a start make sure your state pension contributions are paid up. You used to be able to fill in gaps from years ago but I don't think you can go back so far now. DWP Future Pensions are very helpful and gave me good advice a few days ago (I was on carers allowance but that just ended two months after DH died, and they had been paying my NI contributions as part of that).

Being a SAHM by choice is wildly different to being a SAHM through necessity to look after a child who has additional care needs.

I'm not backtracking at all. My opinion on women who choose not to work with a view to relying on their spouse for an income remains the same. My opinion on families that require full time care of a child also remains the same. The two opinions are entirely different because the two scenarios are entirely different.

If you cannot cope with people offering you opinions when you have asked for opinions, Mumsnet is probably for you.

I don’t see how that’s a downside? Most people don’t retire at 55 anyway