Avoid In-laws because of jokes about my appearance

no its a case of their being bullies.

and you tolerate this?

Tell them you don't have a problem, your legs reach the ground and that's all that matters so can they cut out the not so funny wisecracks or you might start pointing out their shortcomings - serioulsy, no pun intended.

I’m quite short too, 5ft 1 and I get teased about it all the time. I get called ‘tidge’ or ‘shortarse’ and it doesn’t bother me at all. But then it’s said by people who I know really love me. If it’s said in a bullying way then of course it’s awful. But is it more a case of them not understanding how much it bothers you?

They sound childish and rude. They are deflecting from their own lack of self esteem. Tell them not to make personal remarks - tell them you don’t comment on their appearance . How rude

After a decade of bullying (and it is definitely bullying), it is very much time for the devil approach @butterfly245 - I would absolutely go for their deepest insecurities (ETA: within reason - no childhood trauma type stuff, there is a line…somewhere)

The only reasonable way to approach this issue is to go to the next family gathering prepared to do a ‘Quickfire Roast of DH’s family’ in the style of Michael Scott from the Office US. Please give it a watch if you haven’t!!

Joking aside, they sound very boring.

They all sound a bit… thick. Like if your height amuses them this much they’ve been talking about it for literally years, their sense of humour is very basic. Do they find Mrs Brown’s Boys hilarious?

They sound rather pathetic.

My friend’s 4ft 11in and I’m 5ft 8in. It’s never occurred to me to joke about her height.

I think fair’s fair in these situations, next time give them a taste of their own medicine about being overweight and make sure you’re laughing at them when you say it. If they do it again. You do it again.

They don’t have the monopoly on being insidious tossers.

Have you tried saying to them something like "Do you not realise that that joke got stale the second time you used it? And you've trotted it out approximately 10,000 times so far?"

It’s boring and boorish but, on the other hand, I’d be bloody thrilled if that was my biggest complaint against my in-laws. It’s also not like being short is an explicitly negative thing or something I would expect a woman to be self-conscious about. Are they a bit socially awkward and cling to that as an easy talking point? My in-laws do that about my nationality, my accent, my university, my job and my height most times I see them, always in a mocking way. It’s the single most harmless thing they do and it helps keep the conversation bland, fills silences and stops them straying into more vicious territory.

I don't think that is down to DH to deal with this. It just makes you look weak.
For the same reason, you shouldn't tell them that it 'upsets' you..

Try: "You've been making these playground level 'jokes' for ten years now, and frankly I've had enough. It's very tedious and it's time you all grew up"

They are weird. Five foot is not even excessively short ( not that it should matter).

I hear you, OP! I'm only 4'11 and most people have the good sense not to make anything of it but my BIL's annoying ex-wife did come out with a few remarks once. At FIL's funeral, of all places! Everyone agreed she was an idiot though.

One of the stupid things she said was "ooh, you're really short!" As if I had never noticed, and spent all those years wondering why I couldn't reach things on high shelves. 🙄

They make a joke, you say
"So I'm aware that I should have made it clear years ago that I find the atempts to poke fun at my height unpleasant. I was younger and less confident, especially around my new in-laws who I wanted to like me. Now that I'm older, wiser and confident in my position as obviously the best daughter in law, (insert self deprecating tinkly laugh at this point) I feel more able to tell you that you absolutely need to stop with this."

A joke is when both parties find it funny. A joke at someone else's expense is bullying.

Definitely don’t slap the next person who does it; especially don’t slap them so hard their cheek swells up.

Or just say that favourite MN comment, ‘did you mean to be so rude” and then say no more until they answer

Personally I would retaliate in kind, so look to see what defects they have and start on those, so they make a comment about your height, you say at least I am not a baldy, and walk away

just kick it back at them

I recall a post on here a few years ago.Only it was a child being bullied by a girl at school over her height. It had gone on for a few years school did nothing. The girl who was bullying her was quite overweight. So one day she retaliated back I might be short but at least I’m not fat.

The girl burst into tears and the OP’s daughter was punished and told not to make fun of others appearance. Even though the other girl had bullied her for years and never been punished. She was in a private school and the other child was from a large family with about 5 children at the school. So she ended moving her to a local non private school.

"There will be no personal comments on my family, friends, or guests while you are visiting. It is disrespectful and unpleasant. Please do not joke about anyone’s personal characteristics while staying with us.”

This needs to be said and should have been said a long time ago.^

5' isn't short - what are they, a family of giraffes ?

I'm 5'2" and only once have I ever been called a "short-@rse" by a very rude person.

You could say’ ‘I may be short but at least I am kind’.

'All the best things come in small packages' or 'You really are tedious people, after 10 years you're still flogging the same dead horse'.

Ah, depends on your idea of tall.
6ft 2" female and I dislike clothes shopping because they are usually made for average height women.

The comments to @butterfly245 from her so-called family are bullying that they pretend is humour.

I would be exasperated and say "I am sick to death of your boring and rude so-called jokes about my height. It isn't witty, it isn't clever and to be honest it puts me off wanting to spend time with you. Which is a shame because apart from that I enjoy being with you"

Make sure DH is prepared to step straight in and back you up.

Do not engage on any of the passive aggressive responses suggested here, or retaliatory 'jokey' comments. They will just see that as you engaging with the 'banter' and it will encourage them.

If the teen has the temerity to say anything say "Ouch! its very rude to make jokes and comments about people's physical characteristics and I don't appreciate it"

Pretty overweight yes…I can just imagine how well it would go down if I said something to them!

Do it obliquely. “Look - not everybody is bang on average height or weight. It really isn’t polite or funny to make personal comments about it….”