Avoid In-laws because of jokes about my appearance

“I’m short and can’t do anything about it. You’re fat - you can. What’s your daily routine to solve your affliction?”

Just kidding - that would go down like a led balloon.

However being clear and blunt is fine. In 5 foot and get it too (not from in-laws) but general people. Colleagues etc. It doesn’t actually bother me though. I tend to make my own jokes about it.

“It has been 10 years. I don’t find these jokes funny. I’ve asked you numerous times to stop. Please stop. They aren’t endearing or cute and I find them quite offensive and borderline bullying with the amount I have to endure.”

Ouch

Or the famous 'you have more chins than a Hong Kong telephone book'

I wouldn’t resort to any ad-hominem, personal insults, as it’s their level of humour, you are better than that: fat shaming is the pits.
Maybe not react one bit and make it a tumble weed type moment, or ask if they have considered a career in comedy as your sides are splitting from the hilarity of their oh so original ‘joke’ 🙄

Your in laws are cunts 💯

I'm sorry but as a fellow 5 footer, this would boil my piss, especially after you and your husband have said you don't like it. 😠 😡 😤

Now is the time to give a nice warning, and then go full whammy!

If they mention your height, respond with...
"Good things come in small packages... like arsenic"
See if they back down (They won't).

If they persist and take it up a notch, then you say...
'If we're discussing sizes, then I will start discussing how wide everyone is"

If they retort and say its a joke etc
Then you reply "well I'm only joking as well, I thought fat people were supposed to be jolly" 💅

Tell them, "if you lot want to make a joke at my expense, then I will show you ALL my very 'DARK humour'.

If they get defensive again....
then reply but I'M ONLY JOOOOKING, CAN'T YOU GUYS TAKE A JOKE?
IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEONE MENTIONS THE WEIGHT HEY?

Then walk out the room (mic drop moment) 💥
That should get the message across 😆 🤣 😂

@butterfly245

'Oh do fuck off Mildred, it wasn't funny the first time and it's still not funny'

Then turn on your heel and flounce away ☺️

Op if you are 5ft its undeniably short but it depends on your proportions too. My friend is around 5ft with Kylie Minogue type proportions. Kylie is 5ft with long arms & legs & stunning. I would ignore anyone who is shallow enough to mention actual height when it's about so much more.

It is well past time for you to get in their face. They are bullies and they will not stop until you stop them. You have to be firm. The words are: What makes you think you are entitled to make a comment about my body? I don't like it and I don't want you to do it again. It's not cute and it's not funny. Stop doing it. In fact, if you do it again, you and me, we're going to have a problem. Do you understand? Then shut up and keep staring at them. Do not break the stare no matter who else speaks. If they say anything other than I'm sorry, repeat "Do you understand?" Ignore anyone else speaking until they respond with an apology. It will shut everyone else up.

If they respond with anything other than yes then repeat: Do you understand? I don't like it. Stop doing it.

You need to tell them very clearly you don’t like it and need them to stop. Have you done that?

"I might be small, but at least I'm not overweight". Then turn on your heel and look busy with something.

You won't have directly said that the PIL is fat, and if they take it personally, you can always appear as wide eyed and innocent as they try to look. "What? No, I wasn't saying that you're fat. Just that I'm glad I have a good figure"

Oh and my 4ft 10 grandma said all the best things come in small packages. Tis true!

< say that and stare at their girth>

I have a relative who is 4’9 & we don’t make fun of her. We did tease her a bit at the start about having to buy from the children’s dept but that soon got old. After 10 years they shouldn’t even notice your height!
I’m only 5’2 myself & nobody ever comments. Are they an exceptionally tall family ?

I think they sound a bit thick. If that is the level of comedy, fucking hell, what a tedious lot.

I'd definitely go with the, at least I can wear heels, you don't have many options.... big fake laugh.

OMG that's fantastic. A classic demonstration of 'how would you like it' 👏

5ft here! I used to have this shit with my ex’s family and friends they thought it was so funny. I would look at them in horror say thanks for telling me the way you might if something was stuck in your teeth for ages (didn’t notice! I’ll sort it asap!). I tell my young daughters that if everyone was small like us we would all be using fewer resources. You could tell them- think of this moment when you smack your head on a doorframe. After all you can always just ask someone to reach things for you in the supermarket.

Tell them not to do it one last time and if they do it again, go non-contact. Although I'd probably pop a poo in a box and post it to them.

I’m also short and have received plenty of idiotic observations from others about my height. Someone actually once announced ‘you’re short!!!’ as if this had not occurred to me. I just fixed them with my best hard stare and answered ‘yes.’

Your in-laws sound very tiresome indeed, and very boring. Some families find this kind of ‘banter’ a way of establishing a bond, but if it’s clear you don’t appreciate it, they should stop. Are they otherwise ok with you? If yes, you could try stating firmly that you do not want to hear any more short ‘jokes’ and find them wearing enough to stay away from family gatherings. If they are generally pains in the rear, I’d have a very busy schedule.

I would honestly not bother with the main offenders, but then, I do like to slam doors closed pronto on people who annoy me.
A bit pf banter is fine (imo) but they must see this gets to you: My MIL often used to say at dinner at hers (where she had made a cake or pudding) “Would you like an apple instead?” A sly dig at my weight, one of a mixed bag she offered up regularly.
Until one day, I actually asked her pointedly why she was so obsessed with my weight, and yes please to cake and make it a big slice…she has kept her piehole shut since.

Just say I cant help been short, it's not my fault, but you can help how rude you are!
Or say ' do you practice at being rude or does it come naturally to you.
Iam only 5ft 2,my mum 4ft 11.
Small things come in neat packages xx

Family WhatsApp: I love to see you all and yet find myself dreading it at the same time. I undoubtedly should have mentioned it before but I really hate these jokes and comments about my height. I wouldn’t dream of making personal comments about you so can we draw a line under the ones about me? I’d appreciate you telling your children the same. With love from . …. Xx

How the heck is it “ an odd thing to get worked up about”?! Anyone who has a sensitivity about a physical difference - be it a disability or simply hair colour or skin imperfections, has an absolute right not to be teased about it unless they find it funny. It’s bullying of the worst kind. I’d be inclined to say “ I really don’t find this funny , it actually hurts my feelings/ offends me - would you tease me if I was in a wheelchair?” If they still don’t stop then they really are fishing for a reaction and I think the best you can do is not drop to their level , but just eye roll and flounce out/ refuse to spend time with them again and say you don’t waste time on unkind people . Good luck , I’m sorry they are so horrible/ immature.

I’m small too and I return those remarks with ‘good things come in small packages’ and a quote from Shakespeare that goes
“Though she be but little, she is fierce” if I was you I’d definitely channel the second one!

try it in english?

I totally sympathise. I had a similar situation. When my dp and myself were on holiday an annoying situation happened which we commented on in the family WhatsApp group.Instead of sympathy my two SIL thought it was hilarious. We indulged them for a little while but fast forward two years and they still kept bringing it up at all times. We tried telling them the joke was wearing thin both nicely and firmly to no avail. We finally lost our temper then dh and myself were accused of being bullies!

Also i would never be mean about someone’s weight even if they are mean about my height. I would pick on something they can’t do anything about- which is what they are doing to me! Mainly i say ‘yes i know i am short but at least i am not ugly/a dickhead/ a cunt/boring’ etc. Also not all short people are also tiny and skinny! So ‘well at least i’m not fat like you’ doesnt always work!

So you’re as tall as they are wide? If you’re feeling brave, you could point this out to them.

They sound vile and I’m surprised you've been able to put up with this for so long!